


A loyal fiancé

by lockedlocke



Series: Camboy!Steve & Loyal Viewer Bucky [2]
Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bearded Steve Rogers, Blowjobs, Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Bucky Barnes Thunder thighs, Camboy Steve Rogers, Established Relationship, Exhibitionism, First Time Bottoming, Happy Bucky Barnes, Happy Ending, Happy Steve Rogers, Idiots in Love, M/M, Peggy Carter & Steve Rogers Friendship, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Punk Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Sam Wilson is the dad friend, Sex Positive Steve Rogers, Sex Toys, Shameless Smut, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson Friendship, Steve Rogers is Not Captain America, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin, everybody is happy, getting married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-02-29 17:53:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 66,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18783193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lockedlocke/pseuds/lockedlocke
Summary: “Hey, guess what,” Steve says with a wide, happy and excited grin when the number of viewers finally has climbed up high enough for his liking. “I’m getting married!” Steve admires his ring with a wide grin, spinning it a little bit with his thumb.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [birdjay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdjay/gifts).



> Written for the lovely Birdjay for their birthday, so happy birthday! 
> 
> This fic is finished as of now, with 6 chapters and one epilogue. Posting days will be on Fridays. Beta'd by the lovely charlesdk, who you can also find on tumblr under mlmsrogers!
> 
> While it's not necesary to read the first fic in the series, I would however recommend it still. Happy reading!

“Hey, guess what,” Steve says with a wide, happy and excited grin when the number of viewers finally has climbed up high enough for his liking. He sees plenty of familiar names among the list of online users in his room on Chaturbate. He’s been talking nonsense mostly, wanting to drive up the numbers to a decent amount before springing the announcement on them. Even if the news has been burning a hole in his chest. 

Now, however, Steve judges is the right time to tell. He grins widely, his cheeks still hurt a bit from all the smiling he’s done the past weekend, and he lets the viewers type their responses for a moment, guessing what the big news is. Steve can’t help but laugh when one of them asks if he’s been offered to do a porno. Steve shakes his head and brushes his hair out of his eyes. 

“No, I’m not doing a porno,” he says with a wink to the camera, although he feels pretty confident that he would do pretty well. He’s got a pretty solid following online already but Steve has no interest in doing porn like that. “The news is actually nothing of the sorts like that.” Steve shifts a little on the bed and smirks to the camera. He would have given them another minute to guess but at this point, Steve’s become impatient enough to pull the rug out from under them. 

And damn it, he wants to tell the world. He wants to shout it from the rooftops. Just calling friends had been wonderful but not quite enough. Steve wanted everybody to know, even the disinterested woman at the counter in the local grocery store. Steve raises his left hand to the camera, revealing the silver band around his ring finger. It’s discrete but perfect. SinnamonRose is the first one to realise what it means and posts a bunch of jaw dropping emojis in the chat. 

“I’m getting married!” Steve admires his ring with a wide grin, spinning it a little bit with his thumb. There’s no engraving on it, it’s just plain and simple silver and he wouldn’t have it any other way. Then, just because he can, Steve moves his hand closer to the camera so the viewers who are currently offering him their congratulations can have a look. It makes him feel all warm and fuzzy when the names he’s come to recognize over the past few years all wish him well. “Thank you,” Steve says smiling widely, shifting a little bit, and looks at his ring once more just because he can’t help it. 

“It’s pretty new actually. I’ve been waiting since Sunday to be able to tell all of you guys.” Steve lets out a little chuckle and brushes his fingers through his hair, then hugs one of his legs against his chest. “So bear with me, I know you all come here for a show but I got to tell someone, alright? I promise, just this, and then I’ll get on with it, I swear to god,” he assures them. They come here to see him get off based on their instructions, not to listen to him talking on about a proposal. But jesus, they can wait for five minutes, he thinks. 

“So uhm, some of you know but for those who don’t know, Red and I have Sundays as date night if we can’t make Friday date nights. Last week we skipped on purpose, uh.” Steve laughs again, feeling a little bit dreamy as he thinks back on it. “Cause well, this Sunday was actually Red’s birthday. And we had just lived in our apartment for a little over a year not long before that. And officially together so we waited on purpose. Red was real sweet, he got us this reservation at a really nice place. Steaks and Hamburgers so, well. I was happy before we even got there. Anyway, we ate, had a nice time, paid. We went out for a little walk, stopped by the dog park cause well, Red and dogs.” Steve rolls his eyes a little with a faint smile as he tells that. Bucky would always try to make a detour to see dogs. 

“Continued to the piers, just talked. You know how you can talk shit? Yeah we did that,” Steve tells the camera and nods a little bit, expecting them to know what he’s talking about. Surprisingly, he hasn’t lost as many viewers as he thought he would with the little tale. It seems like most are listening to him. And here he was, he had been fully prepared to work harder to attract more of them once he got started. “I didn’t suspect a thing and you guys know Red, he can be so smug and keep such a Poker Face so I had no idea that he was planning anything to begin with.” At that, SinnamonRose sends one of those laughing while crying emojis. 

“He picked out a wonderful spot to stop. We had a beautiful view of the city and the Brooklyn Bridge. It was just real pretty. He leant against the railing and I joined him. He didn’t go down on his knee or anything. He doesn’t do that.” Steve waves with a hand and snorts. The comment earns him more laughing smileys in the chatbox than he expected. 

“Then, he just leaned in to me. Kissed me on my cheek and whispered to me. Asking me if I would marry him.” Steve pauses unintentionally and looks down to his ring again, fiddling with it and spinning it around his finger before he sniffs and looks back to the camera. With a light chuckle, he dabs at the corners of his eyes that have begun to water again. “I didn’t hear him first. Well, I did. But I just… couldn’t believe that’s what he said, you know? So I just stared at him like a fucking idiot. And you know Red, so he just started laughing and repeated the question to me. But this time he fished this ring out of his pocket and showed it to me,”

“I told him yes, of course. Yes, I’ll marry him and you know what he said as he tried to give me the ring?” Steve pauses a couple of seconds for dramatic effect. Long enough to build a little bit of mystery but short enough to ensure no one would have actually come up with anything. He can barely contain himself with laughter. “He said _ don’t you fucking dare drop it in the water now, _ ” Steve tells them and breaks out in a fit of giggles. He puts both of his hands in front of his mouth to stifle it and gives himself a second. 

“Anyway, I’m sorry. This isn’t what you guys came here for. I just needed to get it out for a second,” Steve laughs and waves with his hand in front of his face. He’s bursting with excitement and thinks he hardly can be blamed for being excited about his own wedding. He glances at the chatbox again with a content little smile and leans in a little, mostly for show. 

**SinnamonRose: Can I come to the wedding?**

“I’ll have to talk with my husband-to-be about that first,” Steve winks at the camera. Calling Bucky his husband-to-be thrills him, almost just as much that he’ll be able to call Bucky his husband in less than a year’s time if all goes well. He’s going to get married, he’s going to have someone by his side for the rest of his life. Steve never believed he would get a chance at marriage and a happy ending like that until he met Bucky. Now he can’t imagine his life any differently. 

SinnamonRose responds with a slightly disappointed emoji but fills in quickly that she’ll be waiting for a proper answer once he’s spoken with Bucky about it. Out of all his viewers, Rose is the one that would deserve an actual invitation. She has been following him for years as well, helped with his rent and supported him through everything. Just like Bucky, in a way.

“Now.” Steve claps his hands together and shifts on the bed again, sitting up on his heels to raise his upper body more in the view of the camera. Less relaxed, more intense with an aim to please. “I’m sorry for dragging it all out. Shall we get started?” Steve winks at the camera and brushes his hand over his chest, down his stomach. 

“I thought I’d be a little bit generous tonight and I thought I’d let all of you decide how this evening goes. Does everybody like the sound of that?” Steve suggests with a wink. The suggestion is instantly popular and the sound of the first amount of tokens being dropped rings out of the speakers. Small and low numbers but Steve doesn’t mind. It’s just their way of showing their approval. 

“I have to tell you all though, before any of you are thinking it. Red won't be able to join us this evening. He’s got work to do,” Steve tells his viewers. It’s a little white lie. Bucky isn’t exactly working but he’s got other things to do and he had asked not to be called into the stream. Steve respected that. Bucky just joined in for fun and that meant, in Steve’s eyes, that he only had to participate when he wanted to. 

There’s a couple more disappointed comments and emojis but only a handful. “Think of it this way,” Steve muses in a dark tone and leans in closer to the camera. “Gives you guys a chance to do whatever you want with me. You will be the ones who will be making me feel so good. Making me beg for more,” Steve tells them with a wink and sure enough, it’s all that’s needed to turn the public opinion around. The little comment alone earns him a token drop of 50 tokens. 

“So come on.” Steve brushes his hand further down his stomach and to his cock, giving himself a light squeeze through the fabric of his boxer briefs. His breathing hitches a little bit and he’s positive that the seventy-four people watching him have seen it as well. It’s what they come to see and it’s the first thing they notice. “Tell me, what do you want to do to me tonight?” 

There’s a myriad of comments being written and low number of tokens being dropped second after second. Making Steve feel a little like he’s at an auction. But he laughs and enjoys the feeling. Enjoys that he’s so desired and that there’s so many people who want to do all sorts of things to him. He pretends to ignore the comments a little and pulls up his hand only to slide it back down the hem of his boxer briefs. He moans lightly at the touch of his own hand, tilting his head back a little for a sense of dramatics and mutters under his breath. The sound of more token drops brings him back to the world and he grins at his viewers. 

“Naked? You want me naked?” He asks, watching them all quickly type their agreements. Steve moans again at his own touch, thrusting his hips forward a little in the air before he pulls out his hand. He pulls his top over his head and tosses it away, then hooks both of his thumbs into his underwear. “These too?” he asks with a naughty little smirk, pushing them down slowly, bit by bit and showing off, carefully and calculated the increase of the hairs on his abdomen further down. 

It earns him a token drop of a 100 to strip out of his boxers and with the little auction that went off, he’s already off to a good start. So he gives them what they want and smoothly moves out of his underwear, tossing them in the same direction as his shirt. His cock is only half hard from his own touches and he strokes his palm down over it which makes him moan again. 

He slides his hand down beside his cock and cups his balls gently. Steve’s breathing picks up a pace and he rocks his hips a little. The number of viewers is climbing now that he’s not wearing any clothes anymore. “Come on now,” Steve breathes out. “Please, c’mon. Make me feel good,” he tells them, making sure that it sounds a little like he’s begging. 

Steve begins to stroke himself before they even tell him to. Alright, he’s a little bit impatient. He doesn’t need more than a handful of strokes before he finds himself fully erect. He brushes his thumb over the tip and lets out a little shaky moan before checking the requests again. 

A token drop of a thousand pulls his attention and he grins to the camera. It’s a user he doesn’t recognize. “You want me to ride, huh? Want me to get myself off while riding for all of you guys to see?” he asks. The question alone earns him a couple more token drops but none of a number that high. They’re all in the low hundreds. 

“Well, I’d love to and now I will. But...” Steve slides a hand down between his legs, presses a finger against him, and moans again. He loves the little bit of pressure despite the lack of lube. It’s a hint of anticipation, of what’s to come. “You’ll have to get me ready first before I can ride anything and you’ll have to decide which one,” Steve tells them and in an instant, the viewers who have followed his stream regularly start typing away, telling Steve what dildo they want him to use. 

“The black one? Oh, I do love the black one.” Steve groans a bit at the thought. He loves all his toys equally, they all have something that make him want to use them again and again. The black one is one of the smaller ones that he owns but for what it lacks in length, it makes up for in girth. It gives him such an enjoyable stretch and makes him feel so full that the thought of it alone makes him shiver. The black vote wins by popular vote and another token drop of a thousand. 

“You’ll have to get me ready real good if you’ll have me use that one,” Steve tells them with an amused little smile. He knows he still has to steer them to a certain extent despite surrendering control. Or they will just try to get him to ride instantly. Which doesn’t earn him much money if the finale happens within half an hour. And it doesn’t work that way, he doesn’t work that way. He can’t take a toy or a dick without a little bit of preparation even if that’s all that he ever wants to at certain moments. 

Steve lets go of his cock and reaches for the tube of lube that’s standing on the desk. He waves it in front of the camera a couple of times to get their minds out of the gutter and back on track with what they should do to him. “Come on now,” he teases them and opens the cap. “Seems like I’m all on my own here.” 

He pours some of the lube onto his fingers, spreading it nice and even. It feels cold to the touch and he wants it to be warmer. “How do you all want these? Want me to face you, want me to turn my back to you? Want me to lay down while I fuck myself with these?” he asks them and breaks through their silence once more. There’s token drops but few who actually write suggestions. 

Coupled with the largest drop of the evening so far at 1500 tokens from SinnamonRose, he gives into her request. He winks at the camera and thanks her before adjusting the big fluffy pillows behind his back and his head. With one hand, he gives himself lazy strokes, letting out a little sigh of a moan. Steve trails his lubed fingers down past his cock and presses one of the fingers against himself. He lets out a needy little whine, teasing himself until he hears another token drop 

“Thank you,” he says, turning his head just enough to see how much it was. 600. It’s a number high enough, Steve decides and slides a finger in. Steve arches his hips off the bed, moaning as he does, partially from relief. It feels good to finally have something inside of him and he falls into a steady rhythmic movement with the one finger. 

“Oh, this feels so nice,” he tells his viewers, moaning again as he squeezes his cock a little bit tighter. There’s precum gathering at the tip of it but he doubts that they can see it. Maybe he’ll use that later, he hasn’t quite decided yet. For now, all Steve wants is just a moment to feel good. He moans again, imagines how the finger inside of him is Bucky’s, twisting and moving in all the right ways to get him trembling and begging for more. “Fuck,” Steve groans again, lifting his hips up once more and opens one eye for the camera. 

“Can I have one more? Please?” he asks them, making sure he sounds needy as he does. And he feels a bit needy, one finger is far from enough. It’s enough to tell him that something is in him but not enough to give him that wonderful sensation of being filled that Bucky’s cock or the black toy gives him. “C’mon, please,” he whines and pushes his finger in as far as his hand allows it. It’s not much. 

It’s a user that he doesn’t recognize by the name of HarmlessLime that drops him more coins to continue. Another 600 tokens and Steve gives himself a second finger. The moan that slips past his lips then is real, one not for show but one out of relief for being given more. He whimpers again and now steadily rocks his hips towards his hand as he feels more of it. 

“Oh fuck,” Steve groans and lets go of his cock. Instead, he brings his hand up into his hair and grabs hold of it, arching his back a little to put his abdomen muscles on display for a moment. He shifts one of his legs, pulling it up a little bit just so his reach into himself gets deeper and shudder. Steve keeps cursing on repeat, whimpering softly. He doesn’t even check the amount of tokens when the sound drops again and just gives himself a third finger. 

His skin feels flushed and his head feels heavy. He’s certain that his cheeks have gotten a pink tint to them. Steve lets out another whimper and lifts his hips off the bed again. He could take the dildo now, if he takes it slowly. Slow is good, slow drags everything out. It both leaves him panting and whining and  _ needy _ for more while also earning him money in encouragement. 

“Please,” he says and licks his lips. He looks at the camera again. “Please, please, please, can I fuck myself with it now?” Steve begs them. There’s another influx of dropped tokens in the chatroom and Steve lets out a little laugh. He pulls out his fingers from himself and shifts, kneeling back on the bed. He reaches under the desk to pull out the piece of plexiglass and sets it on the bed. He grabs the black dildo and puts it in the center, pushing down a little so the suction cup takes hold. 

“You want me to face you? Or do you want to see how it moves in and out of me from behind?” He asks them with a wink, opening the cap of the lube and empties the last little bit of it on the dildo. He spreads it with his hand, then brings it back behind him to slide in two fingers. He shivers a little as he reads the commentary. It’s about fifty/fifty but HarmlessLime ends the discussion by requesting that he faces them and gives him 2000 tokens worth his trouble. How can Steve deny that? 

He blows a kiss to the camera then moves up. He lines the black dildo up with him and then slowly, just to tease, he lowers himself onto it. Steve tilts his head back and moans when the tip of it pushes into him, hard and unforgiving, the unmistakable rigidity that he’s going to fuck a toy. Steve lets out a little gasp but keeps lowering himself on top of it. It doesn’t hurt but Steve feels every little bit of it. 

For every little bit that Steve moves down on it, he moves back up to allow himself to get used to it. As he does, he lets out short little moans, feeling how his back breaks out into a cold sweat and how his thighs get a tremble with the effort of going so slowly. Somehow, that’s more of a workout than being able to do it repeatedly. 

By the time he’s fully lowered himself on the toy, Steve feels out of breath. He’s barely aware of the sounds that come from the computer as he gets token drops in praise. Though a quick glance up reveals that he’s gained a lot more viewers now that the show is really on. So Steve grins at the camera and waves. “Hi to all the newcomers,” he says, stretching back a little and gives his cock a couple of strokes. Steve moans again and then starts to move his hips, slowly at first. 

“Oh,” Steve breathes softly and unable to help himself, he starts to move a little bit faster on top of it. Before long, he’s moaning louder, forgetting all that he promised himself about taking it slow and throwing it out of the window. What he wants is to feel good and god,  _ it feels so fucking good _ , Steve thinks as he moves his hips. 

“Feels so fucking good, fuck,” Steve murmurs, stroking his hand down his stomach again and grips his cock, stroking it at the same pace of his movements. He lets out a groan at that, tilting his head back and stroking the fingers of his other hand over his throat. The precum is now dripping from him and Steve can feel that warm familiar feeling pooling in his stomach. He’s getting close. And the closer he gets, the more his breathing and moans hitch. 

“You’re all going to make me cum,” he reveals with a little laugh, interrupting himself with another moan. His hips twitch and Steve can feel himself tensing up. He whimpers again and grips the hair on the back of his head, stroking his cock steadily and whimpers. “Fuck, fuck, so close, so close,” he murmurs. Moving his hips on top of the toy exactly how he likes it, making him feel so downright amazing that it’s almost maddening. His moans make a steady climb, becoming nothing but a ramble of short little  _ ah-ah’s _ , each cutting the other one short. 

He gains more tokens now as he’s getting close but Steve doesn’t even bother checking how much they are or what they write to him. Not now, not when the only thing he can bothered to do is chase his orgasm. 

When his orgasm hits him, it hits him strong and hard, making him let out one final, long and drawn out moan. He cums over his hand and a little of it spills over his fist and onto the bed. As it finishes, Steve feels the strength leave his muscles and drain him. So he moves enough to have the toy slide out of him and lays down on the bed, breathing heavily and burning so hot that for a second he’s almost glad he’s alone and that nobody can touch him. That would have been too much. 

“That was real nice,” Steve eventually murmurs to his viewers, dragging his cum stained fingers over his stomach which twitches away involuntarily against the touch. Tonight’s a short show. After that orgasm, Steve has absolutely no desire to continue and he imagines that everything will just be uncomfortable and hurt. But that’s alright, every now and then people can have a half day at work. “I really, really enjoyed myself,” he says, turning his head towards the camera and he gives them a sweet smile. 

 

\--

 

Steve comes out of the bathroom about forty-five minutes later, drying the hair at the nape of his neck with a towel and wearing fresh pajama pants and a t-shirt. The washing machine is already tumbling with the cover of the bed. He feels a little sore but nothing that won’t be gone in the morning. His own excitement had carried him away. 

Draping the towel around his neck, Steve heads out to the main living area. Bucky doesn’t look up from his laptop, having nestled himself on the couch with a blanket in front of the television. And Steve doesn’t call out for him either. He goes to get himself a glass of water first and downs it, refills it, and then goes over to the couch. “Hey,” Steve says and pulls at one of the pillows to give him some space. Bucky looks to his side confused and then smiles when he sees Steve, tugging one of his headphones out of his ear. 

“Hey,” Bucky says with that bright smile that only he can manage and grabs the sphynx cat that’s nestled in between Bucky’s legs and the blanket and lifts it. Hot Dog meows his disapproval. From Bucky’s other side, the other Spynx cat Hamburger lifts his head and looks at his brother. “Had a good show?” 

“It was alright.” Steve drops himself down on the couch and leans against Bucky’s side, pulls the blanket over his legs and then takes over Hot Dog, placing him back on the blanket. “Short show. It was a little bit weird, auction at times. I gave them free reign but still had to coax what I had to do out of them.” Steve shrugs a little and pets Hot Dog who’s still blinking disapprovingly at Bucky for disturbing his nap. 

“But you made enough to call it a night?” Bucky assumes, ignoring entirely what’s on his laptop and is still looking at Steve who smiles to him and nods, letting Hot Dog get up and resettle himself in Steve’s lap with a little flop. He presses his head against Steve’s hand to coax pets out of him. 

“I did.” Steve smirks at him and gives Hot Dog what he wants and starts petting the cat. His skin feels leathery to the touch but Hot Dog starts to purr and stretches out his front legs, spreading his pads wide open. “Made about six hundred? Give or take. So not a crazy amount but good enough for an evening’s work. A short evening.” Steve chuckles a little, then turns his focus to Bucky’s laptop. “What have you been up to?” 

“I,” Bucky begins and opens up his documents, “have been doing some research on everything that we need to get done and it’s a big fucking list.” Bucky laughs a little and taps the touchpad on his laptop twice to open up a pdf file. On the screen, a document opens, headlining  _ twelve months+ to go  _ and lists a variety of things to do with little checkboxes by each point. Bucky scrolls down, there’s several more categories over the months, until he eventually reaches the bottom of the four page long document. Then in one quick movement, he scrolls them right back up to top. 

“We can do that,” Steve says and squints a little, leaning in a bit to see what’s written among the tasks for _twelve months+ to go_. He stops petting Hot Dog and moves Bucky’s hand away from the touchpad of the laptop, scrolling down to _10-11 months_ _to go_ and _8-9 months to go._ “The first bits don’t seem to hard though, should go by pretty fast. Pick the date and make guest lists and such.” 

“We better manage,” Bucky says and moves his arm around Steve’s shoulders. He doesn’t sound annoyed but he does sound a little bit worried, maybe even a little bit stressed. “You’re the one who wants to get married in the summer and not wait until next year,” Bucky teases him a little and kisses Steve on the top of his head. Bucky’s left hand disappears by his side and there’s the rustle of a packet. When Bucky pulls his hand back out and opens his palm, he reveals a bunch of haribo bears. “Haribo?”

Steve takes one of them and pops it in his mouth. He sucks at it and scrolls down the list again. From  _ 6-7 months to go _ and downwards, the list seems to grow with what needs to be done. And it is a little bit of a worrying sight to see that eventually the list changes to quite a quantity of things that need to be done three weeks before, two weeks before, one week before and even the day before. “Okay, so maybe it’ll be a bit tight but I think we can manage,” Steve says and surrenders the laptop back to Bucky. He continues to pet Hot Dog instead who starts purring again. 

Bucky hums, his lips back against Steve’s head and presses another kiss against it. “You know when in July you want to get married?” Bucky asks him with a little grin. The little bit of worry that had been in his voice moments earlier is now entirely gone. The confident happy Bucky that makes Steve smile again is back. 

“Early July, like, first half,” Steve says with a little nod, “But we shouldn’t have it too close to my birthday or people will be sick of celebrations. What day’s my birthday on this year?” Steve asks. Bucky makes another humming noise and moves the mouse with the trackpad over to the calendar in the bottom corner and clicks it.  He scrolls down to July. 

“Fourth of July is on a Thursday, so that weekend is out. People will barely be over their hangovers by the sixth. We should have it in a weekend, I think?” Bucky pulls a face, Steve joins him in that. “I mean, d’you think most of them will have taken their summer vacations by then?” Steve shakes his head to indicate that he doesn’t have a clue. “Weekend after? The thirteenth?” 

“Thirteenth of July,” Steve agrees with a nod, feeling himself break out in a grin. He’s going to get married on the thirteenth of July this year. “Buck, how many days until we get married? How many more times do I got to sleep?” he asks on a childish voice, like a child asking a parent how many more nights until Santa. Bucky snorts and opens a new tab. Within a minute, he’s typed in the date on the first readily available site. 

“In about one hundred and twenty-three days, we’ll be married. If, if,” Bucky raises a finger at Steve as he smirks, “all goes well,” 

“All will go well because I said so. Isn’t that like some unspoken law that nothing is supposed to go to hell on a wedding day?” Steve asks and looks back to the PDF file. “Print that out, I want to cross that little sucker out and put it on the fridge,” Steve says and taps the screen of the laptop with his finger nail. The first thing to do on their  _ twelve months to go  _ is  _ Choose a date _ . 

Bucky does as he’s asked and sends the document to their printer but doesn’t get up to get it just yet. The cats would complain if he moved and, more importantly, Steve would complain. Bucky’s hand disappears by his side again and he frowns. “Talk budget and decide who’s contributing? No one’s contributing, right? It’s our wedding,” Bucky says confused and opens up his palm again for Steve, offering him another Haribo. Steve shakes his head and Bucky tosses all of them into his mouth. 

“Sometimes I’ve heard that the parents want to pay for something. I mean they did back in older days but...” Steve shrugs a little. “We don’t need yours paying for anything,” 

“Mom’s gonna want to pay for the flowers though, knowing her. And dad’s gonna try to pay for an open bar to make sure that there is one,” Bucky points out. Steve snorts a little in response and nods. He can definitely see George paying for an open bar. And he knows Winnie well enough to know that she’d like to help out as well somehow and would love to do so with something that’s her passion. 

“Well, why don’t we just assume we’re paying for everything and if they push, we can let them pay for something?” Steve suggests and looks back at Bucky. He’d feel guilty knowing that Bucky’s parents would pay for their wedding for a reason that he can’t quite explain. “How much does a wedding even cost?” 

Bucky opens another tab and types in Steve’s question. The quick answer that google gives them is just above $33,000. “Somehow, I thought it’d be much more,” Bucky says. Steve nods in agreement. They easily have that amount stashed away on their savings, more even. They’re close to six figures in their bank account after buying the apartment together. Steve’s job pays well and Bucky’s even better. They shouldn’t have a problem paying for their wedding without having to worry. 

“Want to cap it off at fifty? By the time the wedding happens, we’d have twice that in the account,” Steve suggests and looks at Bucky.His mother had taught him a lesson in his young years before she passed away which was that if you can’t afford the same thing twice then you can’t afford it at all. And it’s not like they’ll burn through fifty grand in one day. Bucky nods in agreement. 

“You got two things you can cross out now,” he says with a smirk to Steve who beams at the idea of doing so. The list might be huge but damn is he looking forward to working down it over the next few months. “Discover your wedding style,” Bucky reads up next.

“We can do that tomorrow,” Steve suggests, though he’s already pretty confident in what sort of wedding he wants to have. The problem, he imagines, lies in explaining to Bucky what he has in mind without the use of images. He takes note that one of the checklist boxes are to make a pinterest board with pictures for inspiration and figures that he’ll find something there. For the most part, he and Bucky agree when it comes to those sort of things, it had been easy to decorate the apartment. They were on the same page and Steve thinks that it’ll be the same planning a wedding. 

Bucky nods a bit and shuts his laptop, then leans over to place it on the table. In between his legs and chest, Hamburger lets out a meow in protest at being squished a little bit. Bucky rolls his eyes and digs out the bag of haribos, offers them to Steve who declines again, then empties the bag into his mouth and tosses the empty packet on the floor. “You tell your family yet?” Steve asks and lifts Hot Dog a little so he can turn against Bucky. Bucky shakes his head but seems to be of the same mind. He lifts Hamburger and twists on the couch so he’s laying on his back. Steve settles in between his legs. 

“No, figured we’d tell them when we’re over there for dinner on Friday for my so called birthday celebration.” Bucky puts down Hamburger on Steve’s back. The first thing the cat does is sink his claws into his back which makes Steve hiss. Then the cat steps into a circle and lays down, naked tail over his nose. Hot Dog comes up to join his brother and curls up on Steve’s ass instead. 

“Your mom is going to flip,” Steve says with a little grin, poking Bucky in his side and feels him trying to squirm underneath him. He can already imagine Winnie. She will probably cover her mouth and let out a shrill shriek, sharp enough to make George beside her deaf. True to his grumpy looking self, all George would do is complain that she blasted his ear drum out for the rest of the evening. Bucky lets out a groan at the idea and slaps a hand over his eyes. “She’ll be so happy about her little baby boy getting married.” 

“Cut it out,” Bucky whines at Steve who just giggles. The ripples that he makes seem to annoy the cats enough to decide not to sleep on his back and ass and they both jump off him. Hamburger heads straight for the armchair and jumps up to sleep on the blanket put out especially for them. Hot Dog disappears from sight. 

“She will be real happy for you though,” Steve says and shifts a little bit further up Bucky, giving him a light little kiss. “So excited, I think she might cry,” Steve tells him and means every single word that he says. Winnie would be the first to spill tears for them. “Your sisters will too.” 

Bucky hums and strokes his fingers through Steve’s hair, smiling to him. “Yeah, they will be.” Bucky falls silent for a moment, looking at Steve with a curious little look, then he turns serious. “From what I’ve heard of her, your mom would be happy for you too. You know that right?” Bucky eventually says, real soft and gentle as if he’s careful of what impact the words will have. They upset Steve but he knows Bucky didn’t mean it like that, not at all. 

That doesn’t stop it from stinging though. The idea that she won’t be there, watching him recite his vows and say  _ I do _ to the man that he loves hurt. With one quick pang, he is overcome with the feeling that he misses her. So he presses his forehead against Bucky’s chest and shuts his eyes. “I know.” 

Bucky doesn’t say anything for a little while. He just rubs little circles on Steve’s back and tells him that way that he didn’t mean to upset him. Steve knows that, he doesn’t think that Bucky tried to upset him on purpose. Bucky never does. 

 

\--

 

“Do you want to tell them or do you want to tell them together?” Steve asks as he steps out of the elevator and follows Bucky down the hallway. Steve has his hands shoved in the pockets of his jean jacket, freezing from the cold outside. Why it’s necessary to snow in March, he doesn’t understand. 

Bucky on the other hand doesn’t seem to be too phased by the cold. In fact, he walked around in nothing but a jean jacket to keep him warm most of the winter months, earning him a bunch of looks from onlookers on the streets, packed with clothing as he strolled by without a care in the world. Having lived through Russian winters for the past decade before, Bucky now finds that the winter months are warm in Brooklyn. 

“We should tell them together,” Bucky declares after a moment of thinking, then looks at Steve over his shoulder. “I think that'd be best. It’s about the both of us, right? Not just me, you should tell them with me.” Bucky stops in front of the door to his parents’ apartment. Steve can hear the noise that the Barnes family is making through the thick metal door and smiles to him. By the sound of it, all of Bucky’s sisters are already there which makes Steve wonder if Rebecca brought her boyfriend along. 

Bucky smiles at him and pulls Steve in by his jacket, tugs at it a little to adjust it and then gives him a light kiss. “You ready?” he asks in a soft tone, almost as if it’s the first time ever that he’ll get to meet Bucky’s parents. Steve chuckles a little bit and sneaks in another little peck. 

“You don’t think they’ll notice our rings?” he asks. Bucky shakes his head and looks at his own ring on his left hand. It’s the same as Steve’s own, the same plain silver with no engravings. The only difference is that Bucky’s ring is a little bit wider than Steve’s own but it suits him best that way. Steve’s looking forward finding the ideal wedding ring with Bucky and wonders if Bucky would agree to have some sort of engraving on their wedding rings because their engagement rings are kept plain. 

“Nah, it’s not unusual for me to wear rings and I’d be very surprised if they noticed you wearing one,” Bucky says with a shrug and lowers his hand again. “Come on, let’s get going,” Bucky says and kisses Steve’s cheek before fishing the keys out of his back pocket. How Bucky dares to walk around with a set of keys in the back pocket of his jeans, Steve will never understand. 

Bucky puts the key in the lock and twists it to let them in rather than to ring the doorbell. The sound erupts already in the hallway. There’s a fiery discussion going on between the twins that Steve doesn’t even bother making out. Bucky’s father George is somewhere in the living room, Steve guesses, talking with another male voice that Steve’s only heard a handful of times. Turns out Rebecca did bring her boyfriend along. He can hear Rebecca bickering with her mother in the kitchen. The only one that acknowledges their sudden appearance is Bita, Judith’s dog. 

The claws of the little striped basenji clatter against the wooden floor as he races towards them. Attempts to make his curled tail wag and then dashes off again, skidding a little on the floor as he goes back to the kitchen to beg for some food. Bucky rolls his eyes with an amused expression and glances at Steve before he heads into the kitchen. Soon enough, Winnie exclaims from the kitchen. “Birthday boy is here!”

“Mom, stop,” Bucky whines but when Steve makes it into the kitchen, Bucky is already hugging his mother. Steve chuckles a little and leans in over the counter to see what snacks she’s preparing. Finds that she’s already focusing on the food and steals a carrot instead. Rebecca winks at Steve and nibbles at her own carrot. 

“You’re thirty now. How does that feel?” Rebecca teases Bucky and pokes him in his side which makes Bucky squirm away from her, rubbing his side and glaring at her cautiously. Judging if there are any more attacks that he should ward off. Steve giggles a bit, not certain if the disapproving look is because of the comment on Bucky’s age or the tickle attack. 

“I’ll be sure to tell you. In two years,” Bucky retorts to her in an almost childish manner, reminding her of her own age. Rebecca just waves his hand at him in response and shifts to stand against Steve now when Winnie opens the fridge.

“Stop it,” she threatens her two eldest and takes a pot out of the fridge, putting it back on the stove. Like magic, it shuts both of the eldest Barnes children up from what would undoubtedly escalate to a childish little war. “How’s the work for the gallery going, Steve? All good?” she asks and turns on the stove before looking at him. Steve gives her a stupid expression at first before he realises what she’s on about. 

“Oh.” Steve swallows down his mouthful of carrot and coughs once. The clattering of claws hints of the dog racing into the kitchen and then races back out this time with Bucky chasing him. “It’s going good, just need to finish two more paintings and let them dry. But I have enough time for those so everything is still on schedule. It’s exciting.” Steve grins, hardly able to believe it that he’s about to have his own and first gallery showing in one go. He’s not even sharing the gallery with some other artists. No, the owner wanted a full exhibit of his works. “There’ll be an auction on some works,” Steve tells the two women in the kitchen with a nod, feeling incredibly proud of himself. 

“Oh, really?” Winnie beams at that little bit of news and smiles widely to him. “I’m so happy for you, Steve. You’ve been working so hard. It’ll be nice for you to see that work being paid off. Who knows, maybe it’s a change of career in the future, maybe one of these days you’ll be a painter and an artist,” Winnie trails off. Steve nods with a happy little smile. 

“That’s the plan, you know. For when and if I ever quit,” Steve shrugs. He’s glad that Bucky was open from day one with his parents what Steve did for a living. Though he still recalls the event as rather painful. It had been a dinner with his family when Steve was still getting to know them. All of a sudden, George had just turned to Steve and asked what he did for a living. 

Steve had turned bright red at the question and stammered, not knowing what to respond to that. He hadn’t talked with Bucky about it, hadn’t asked him what he wanted him to tell them. If it was best to keep it a lie and come up with something, or if it was best to say it gently. He had panicked and looked at Bucky who had calmly told his parents that Steve streamed online. Winnie, bless her heart, had just looked confused at Bucky and asked  _ ‘What, like those gamers?’ _

Bucky had laughed at that and told her  _ no, not like those gamers. _ Everyone around the table had been quiet for a moment and then watched as the revelation made itself clear to Winnie. How her expression changed when she realised just what Bucky meant that he streamed. Steve had felt himself burn up and wanted to sink under the floorboards at that. 

George had broken the ice after that while Winnie was still trying to make it work in her head. All George had to say about the matter, and that had settled it instantly, was  _ ‘Well, as long as you can pay your rent, are debt free and make him and yourself happy, then you do what you have to do _ ’ which had been rather surprising to hear. Steve had still been intimidated by the large and stern looking man. So to hear him say that he didn’t care what sort of job Steve did as long as he made those four requirements was a bit of a surprise. Steve has made sure to keep up with those requirements since that day. He pays his rent, he’s debt free, he’s happy, and he makes sure Bucky is too. 

Steve would never have guessed it back then but the next hour, he wound up explaining the policy behind how he gets paid on Chaturbate and how he’s able to make a living off it. Something which fascinated both Winnie and George at how the site still made money all while Steve was earning, like it was any other job on the planet. It had been quite a relief. 

“That’s good. Backup plans are always good to have. Back up plans, retirement plans and stocks. That’s three plans everyone should have in their life,” Winnie declares and then glares at her oldest daughter. “You hear that, Becca? You should think of those three plans you know,” she huffs and begins to stir the sauce. Steve just smirks at Becca who rolls her eyes at her mother. 

Steve leaves the two women to be and heads back out to the hall. The argument between Judith and Doris is still going on in one of their old bedrooms, even if it has calmed down to a heated discussion by now. Steve decides that he wants no part of it and leaves them be until they’ve sorted it out between them. The twins wouldn’t see him until they’re finished spitting fire at one another anyway. He finds Bucky in the living room, now cradling the dog against his chest as he listens in on the conversation between George and Jahan. 

Steve doesn’t hear what it’s about at first but the moment he hears the mention of the word taxes, he loses interest and focuses on the dog in Bucky’s arms instead. Bita makes a noise when Steve scratches her stomach and starts to squirm in Bucky’s arms though he doesn’t let go. Whatever sort of taxes the conversation is about, it seems to interest him and he has an input to give. 

About five minutes later, Winnie finishes whatever she was doing in the kitchen and comes out, carrying two bowls with snacks and Rebecca on her heels, carrying a third bowl. “Alright now, that’s enough, boys. No more business talk,” Winnie tells her husband and puts the bowls down on the coffee table. “Judy, Doris! Give it a fucking rest and come out here!” she calls out to her youngest daughters and then sinks down in the armchair that no one but her is allowed to sit in. 

Bucky puts Bita down on the floor and she races off again, then Bucky goes to sit down on the long couch and pulls Steve down with him. Steve goes willingly and leans against him, taking Bucky’s hand as the others arrange themselves in the remaining seats. There’s only one spot left in the couch by the time the twins (both flushed from their argument) come out and they race for it. Judith wins with a triumphant  _ ha _ and Doris is degraded to the floor. 

She doesn’t seem to mind too much though. Her dog comes over to sit down beside her and she’s the first one to dive a fist into the bowl of chips then toss a few pieces in her mouth. Bucky raises the hand that Steve holds and brings it down against his thigh and breaks the silence. “We have something to tell you all before we get started on the party.” 

“Which one of you is pregnant?” Judith teases with a little smirk and reaches for some nuts from the smallest bowl. 

“Actually, we have decided to adopt. One kid from each content and then all of yours because we thought to ourselves, let’s save those kids from Judie’s clutches and shitty music taste too,” Bucky shoots back without flinching and stares his youngest sister down, the other two start to giggle. 

“Please tell me you two haven’t decided on moving back to Russia,” Winnie says with a slight hint of fear in her voice. George seems to be unphased and just stretches out his legs, resting both of his hands on top of each other on his stomach. “You’ve barely been here for a year!” Winnie continues as if they just admitted to moving back. Steve finds himself smiling and looks down at their hands, spotting Bucky’s ring around his finger. And here he thought they would have been able to tell. 

“We’re not moving to Russia. That’d be like suicide for us, mom, come on.” Bucky looks over at his mother with a incredulous glare. Steve giggles again and rests his head against his hand, looking at Bucky with an amused expression as he tries to navigate himself through his family’s guesses. 

“You’re getting married,” Jahan guesses, speaking up for the first time since the entire Barnes family came to sit down in the living room. Everybody looks at him and Jahan visibly sinks down a little in his spot, suddenly terrified of having spoken out of turn. The silence is broken by a shriek from Winnie, letting out all of her joy before Bucky or Steve even confirm it. But at the shriek, Bucky and Steve can’t help but break out in grins and nod. 

Winnie is on Steve in a flash, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him in for a tight hug against her chest. Steve has to let go of Bucky’s hand to hold onto her. When she lets go, she steps over Steve’s legs and goes to hug Bucky whom she hugs tighter and longer. Judith gets up from the floor and comes over to hug Steve herself, giving him her congratulations. 

For a moment, the volume in the room goes up to max as everyone is talking and congratulating them. Even George is smiling uncharacteristically big for him, giving Steve a hard knock on the shoulder. No matter what, George doesn’t hug but by now, Steve’s come to know the man well enough that he knows he’s absolutely overjoyed by the news. 

“When? How? I will murder you if you kept this a secret from us, James,” Winnie threatens as she squeezes herself on the couch in between Bucky and Rebecca. Steve shifts a little as Bucky scoots closer and puts his legs over Bucky’s who puts a hand on them. On the other side of the couch, Rebecca murmurs a complaint to Doris to move her ass and the dog is trying to come into the midst of the excitement. 

“We didn’t keep nothing a secret!” Bucky defends himself. She narrows her eyes at him and then looks at Steve to confirm, to take his side. Which Steve of course would, married or not married. 

“We didn’t keep it a secret. It’s recent and we didn’t want to tell you over the phone. We both felt like today would be a good day since everybody would be here,” Steve tells her. It seems to soothe Winnie a little bit. She would have murdered them if they told her over the phone. She would have murdered them if they came over to tell them at a time when the sisters weren’t there.

“I asked him this Sunday.” Bucky breaks out in a grin and looks at Steve. “When we were out for dinner for my birthday, asked him if he would marry me when we were walking down the piers.” Bucky looks at him with so much love that it radiates from him. A mixture of pure happiness and pride, like Steve is a black hole in space, attracting every little bit of focus to him. 

“Look at the ring,” Steve offers and extends his left hand for Winnie to see. She takes his fingers and pulls Steve’s hand closer to look at the silver ring that currently adorns his ring finger. 

“Did it cost you two months wages, Buck?” George chimes in but he is leaning forward in his own corner to have a look at the ring. All three sisters attempt to do the same. Only Jahan stays behind a little with Bita now in his lap and scratches her. Bucky flushes a little which tells Steve that the ring  _ didn’t _ cost two months wages but he doesn’t really care. He still loves it. 

“It’s a lovely ring.” Winnie smiles at Steve and lets go of Steve’s hand. Steve leans against the back of the couch and he moves his hand behind Bucky’s back so Rebecca and Doris can have a better look. “Have you decided on a date yet? Or are you going to do the thing where you’re engaged for five or ten years before getting married?” She squints at them, hinting that she’s not up to mood to wait that long for the actual event. 

“We have a date,” Steve declares, keeping them in suspension for a little while as Bucky takes his hand again. Winnie looks at him with those bright blue eyes that are so alike Bucky’s own. He can’t keep them waiting, not more than they’ve already have. They’ve tortured her enough for one day. “We’re getting married on the thirteenth of July,” 

“What? This year?” George asks and leans in, as if he’s not quite certain what he heard to begin with. Steve nods his response and George looks even more surprised, if that’s even possible. 

“Steve wanted to get married in the summer and didn’t want to wait until next year so July it is,” Bucky says with a confirming nod. Not trying to throw Steve under the bus and he doesn’t get that feeling from it either. Instead, all that Steve feels from hearing that is Bucky taking his side and defending his choice. George shrugs and seems satisfied with that explanation. 

“Well, I suppose you and I got married three months after I asked,” George says and takes a sip from his beer. Winnie nods at that but still seems thoughtful. Steve bites down on the inside of his cheek, worried that she’ll have some sort of commentary on how it’ll be difficult to throw a wedding together in less than four months. 

“I will have to find a nice summer dress,” is all that Winnie says though. She pats Bucky’s knee and pulls herself up from the couch to go over to her armchair that no one has dared to occupy in her absence from it. “Let me know as soon as you two have decided on what colour scheme you’re going with, okay? I will have to find something nice.” 

“Does this mean we get to be your bridesmaids… groomsmaids?” Rebecca asks them both, now shifting to sit more comfortably on the couch. Bucky shrugs in response and looks at Steve who pulls a face in response. 

“I don’t know. We haven’t really thought that much about all that sort of stuff yet. We’ve just done the very basic things of our checklist,” Steve confesses to them, feeling how Bucky’s thumb strokes the inside of his wrist. All they really managed to do during the week since they had printed the list was to create a wedding website. Bucky hadn’t liked any of the free options they found online and they both felt too stingy to pay for it when Bucky mentioned he could do better. It had taken him a day and half a night but sure enough, Bucky launched a wedding website that was by far nicer, even if they still aren’t entirely sure what to do with it. 

They have started making a list of caterers, florists, photographers (and settled on one to take their engagement pictures which Bucky found a little bit ridiculous but he had gone along with it for Steve’s sake), a couple of musicians. Done a quick google at wedding venues, contacted most of their friends and started a guest list which they have put up on their fridge so they can scribble down names whenever they come up with them. It feels like they have done quite a lot since Tuesday evening and have already crossed out eight out of the fifteen points from the  _ 12 months+ to go _ checklist. 

“Bita volunteers as ring bearer!” Doris says and stretches out the front legs of the dog. At some point, Bita had relocated to her instead and now she looks at Doris like she’s crazy. Bucky chuckles and shakes his head. 

“That dog will race down the aisle and then up it again and no one will have a chance to even see the rings, let alone will we have the chance to take them off her. No, Bita does not get to be ring bearer,” Bucky tells her instantly. Doris scoffs and lowers Bita’s legs again. The dog twists her head and attempts to bite down on Doris hand and makes a noise while she’s at it. 

“You know who should be ring bearer?” Winnie interrupts but Bucky cuts her off with an answer before she can continue. 

“Someone that Steve and I decide on,” he says in a low tone, looking at his mother. She closes her mouth and drops her hand, taking back all she intended to say with her suggestion. Secretly, Steve is glad that Bucky halted it. Steve loves Winnie with all his heart but he is fully aware of how she would only get more and more invested in the planning of their wedding if they let her. 

“I’m happy for you both,” George breaks the silence in between all of them, preventing a layer of uncomfortable stillness falling over them. “I’m happy you found one another and I’m happy you’ve decided to spend the rest of your lives together with one another,” he says with a sweet smile that Steve can’t remember ever having seen. It makes him feel both warm and accepted by the Barnes family. He has felt so for a long time but it somehow feels real now. 

“Thank you,” Steve says and squeezes Bucky’s hand, feeling how the other squeezes him back. They steal a look at one another. Bucky with that smug little smirk of his. He leans in and kisses Steve on his cheek. 

“Just one question,” Judith says and raises her hand like she’s in class. In her other hand, she holds her phone. Both Bucky and Steve look at her. “We can tell others, right? It’s not supposed to be a secret?” Both Bucky and Steve shake their heads, then she grins and raises her phone. “I’m posting this shit on facebook, smile!” she tells them before she snaps the picture. 

She posts it and then gets asked to drop it in the family group chat. She does as she’s asked and when everybody confirms that they’ve received the picture, Bucky declares that now they can go on with his birthday party because he wants to open his presents and he wants to play games. So for the rest of the evening, that’s exactly what they do and they celebrate Bucky in the best way they can manage. Which turns out to be rather hilarious when Bucky gets gifted a card game called Drunk Stoned or Stupid. They play it until late into the night and Steve feels how the muscles in his stomach have worked themselves beyond exhaustion with all the giggling and laughing that they’ve done. 

It’s taken him a while, he thinks. But in the end, Steve has found himself a new family to belong to and is going to build his own branch from it with Bucky.


	2. Chapter 2

“So just to be clear. I am going to be your best man, right?” Sam asks as he helps Steve put up the canvas on the wall. Steve can’t help but smirk a little and leave Sam in suspense with his question. There is no other alternative for Steve to ask. Because really, who does he know? Sure, he has a pretty large and solid friendship group and he trusts all the men and women in the group. Though to varying degrees.

Clint is a friend that Bucky had in his teens who he now has reconnected with and has become a friend to Steve as well. But there is no way in hell that he is giving Clint the responsibility of being his best man and giving him all responsibility of the ring that Steve is meant to put on Bucky’s finger. 

Thor would be flattered by the offer but knowing the man, he would probably turn down the offer gently, saying that he isn’t the right man for the job. Which, in Steve’s opinion, honestly only means that Thor is absolutely right for the job. If Thor planned a bachelor party, then Steve could rest easy knowing that there would be a bus picking everyone up and ubers arranged for everyone to go home with so no one would be driving. Plus he’d do the good thing and stay sober himself just in case. 

“Don’t leave me hanging, you little shit,” Sam demands as he takes a step back to take a look at the painting. He squints a bit and then shakes his head. “Bit more to the left,” he tells Steve with a wave of his hand. Steve adjusts the painting while keeping an eye on Sam. Sam raises his hand when the painting is hanging straight. It’s one of Bucky, a more innocent one, with his back turned to the people viewing it and his tattoo of a wolf the centre of attention. There’s a sheet draped loosely around Bucky’s waist. His arm rests on his knee and he has a cigarette between his fingers. It’s clear that it’s an after sex image. 

“Course you get to be my best man, who else would I ask?” Steve teases him and bumps their shoulders against one another and goes over to the other canvases still leaning against the wall. “It would be my true, genuine honour to have you as my best man, okay? Just make sure that the bachelor party isn’t insane or clashes with Bucky’s.” 

That’s the only thing that Steve demands and he thinks that is a reasonable and fair demand. With as many friends as they have in their shared friend circle, Steve wants to make sure that everyone can attend to both if they have the possibility and want to do so. 

“You got it. Who is organizing Bucky’s anyway?” Sam asks and comes over to Steve, hands on his hips and waiting to be directed towards which painting they’re putting up on the walls next. Steve blows a strand of hair out of his eyes and has a look around in the gallery. 

“I don’t know actually. I think he might ask Natasha to do it. He was talking about asking her to be his best man… woman, bridesmaid? I’m not entirely sure what the right term for that would be,” Steve says. Somehow he thinks Natasha would take offense at being called a bridesmaid and would much more prefer being called best woman.  Steve taps the painting closest to them, then points over to the wall on their right. This one has Bucky laying down on the bed. The sheet isn’t covering anything, his arm is draped over his eyes and his cock is semi erect. 

“Well, he better give me her name so I can add her on facebook and we can plot something together.” Sam picks up one end of the painting and Steve lifts the other. Together, they make their way to the wall with an awkward shuffle. The painting is large and while light to carry, the size makes it difficult. At least he and Sam are somewhat of the same height. 

“I’ll tell him,” Steve says and comes to a halt by the wall, lifting the painting higher up so they gently and carefully hang it on the hook. In fact, the more he thinks about it the more he’s convinced that Sam and Natasha might hit off with one another really well. For her, it would also be one more person to practice her English skills on that isn’t him or Bucky. 

“What do you want for your bachelors actually? Do you like want the standard of being kidnapped and dragged to a strip club or something?” Sam asks. Steve snorts at the idea and once more stays by the paintings side as Sam takes a step back to check if the painting is hanging straight. He gives them a thumbs up. 

“I do not want to be kidnapped and dragged into a strip club,” Steve warns with a glare. Sam starts to laugh and, startling them both, there’s another laugh joining in. 

“I can’t see Steve amongst oily men and glitter no matter how hard I try. And considering what situations I’ve seen him in, that’s saying something,” Bucky chimes in and walks into the gallery room, carrying a large drink in one hand and a bag of McDonalds in the other. The scent of a double quarter pounder with cheese and fries instantly fills the room, Bucky’s favorite. 

“I really don’t want to be put in that situation,” Steve agrees and smiles to Bucky who comes up to him and kisses Steve on the cheek, then goes down to sit on the bench in the middle of the room and puts the bag down beside him. “You do know that this is a don’t bring food and drink in the establishment sorta gallery, right?” Steve warns him with an amused smirk and goes back over to the paintings. 

“They only say that cause they want to sell their own overpriced wine and little mini pizzas,” Bucky says with a shrug and takes a sip of his drink, puts it down and starts to open his bag. 

“I think it’s more to avoid mustard and ketchup stains on the very vital points of a painting. Like your dick,” Sam retorts and comes over to Bucky. He peeks into the bag. “Can I have a fry?” 

“Fuck off, get your own,” Bucky says defensively and closes the bag again after he’s taken out his burger. Steve rolls his eyes at them but is amused by the exchange nonetheless. “And besides, you’re handing those paintings. Eating my fries and then picking them up is the number one way to get grease stains on my dick. Now go on, help Steve.” Bucky gives Sam a shove and takes out his burger from the paper, taking one big bite of it. 

“Charmer you are,” Sam scoffs but he doesn’t seem to be taking the insult to heart. He goes over to Steve who’s looking over the paintings again, trying to decide which one goes where next. “Who is going to be your best man, by the way? Or whoever plans your bachelor thing. I need to get in touch with them.” 

“Natasha,” Bucky confirms with a mouthful of burger. Steve’s original guess. “I spoke to her by the way. She says she’s coming well ahead of the wedding to help out and all. Like three weeks before. She said she’d like to stay until a few days after the wedding. She was wondering if it was alright if she could bunk in the spare bedroom. Considering hotel would be fucking expensive if she’s got to find one for that long and she’s not saying in a hostel, you and I both know that.” 

“She can stay,” Steve muses and taps a painting, then halts before he looks back to Bucky. “Would it be alright if she checked in a hotel like the day before the wedding and spent the rest of her stay there though? I don’t really… want a housemate for the first few days when we’re married.” Steve feels a little bad at suggesting that but only a little. He’s selfish and wants to keep Bucky to himself. Is that really such a bad thing?

“She can stay with me then,” Sam offers before Bucky even has a chance to respond. He has his teeth dug too deep in his burger again anyway. “It’ll only be for a few days, right? A week at most. Saves her some expenses. I don’t mind.” Sam shrugs and gets Steve’s attention back to lift up the third painting. This one is of Bucky in yet another compromising position, laying on his stomach with his hands tied together on his back with a bit of rope. 

“I’ll forward the offer,” Bucky says with a mouthful of burger as soon as he’s chewed and swallowed down enough to speak. “She can decide herself what she wants to do but I’ll let her know that there’s a bed in the city for her if she wants it.” 

Neither of them say anything as Steve and Sam put up the third painting against the wall. It being an entirely square, rather big canvas turns out to be rather tricky to get straight for some reason but they manage after adjusting it a couple of times. In the meantime, Bucky is given enough time to devour his hamburger and leaves him tackling the fries and the drink. 

“I got something less fun though.” Bucky scrunches his nose up as soon as the two men are done with the painting. He looks a bit sheepish. Steve raises an eyebrow at him. He feels pretty warm from lifting and adjusting the paintings. The spots in the ceiling of the gallery cast a warm light over them and the heating is up a little bit too high for late April. “I went over the guest list with mom earlier and she pointed out some relatives of mine that we should invite. And I really don’t want to invite my aunt-through-marriage Vicky. She’s… special.” 

“Special how?” Steve asks and goes to fetch his water bottle, comes back over and joins Bucky on the bench. He steals one of the fries from the bag. Bucky just glares at him but allows the theft. He takes out a handful more for himself, then, for further safety, scrunches the bag shut to keep the rest for himself. 

“Like, Midwest religious fanatic special. I’m trying to talk her out of it and keep reminding her that it’s a gay wedding and the last thing I want to deal with is her murmuring under her breath that we’re sinning, be gifted bibles and shit and pamphlets to those camps where they supposedly turn you straight.” Bucky rolls his eyes and drinks of his soda. “But my mom’s saying that my cousin Sofie invited us to her wedding so we should do the polite thing and all but I’m not feeling it at all.” 

“Fuck em,” Sam says with a shrug and crosses his arms over his chest. Bucky gestures his hand to him as if he very much means to take the point that the other man presents to him. 

“They’re racist too. Now that I see your mug, I remember that,” Bucky says with another shrug. There’s no hint of a smirk or a glint in his eyes that makes Steve think that Bucky’s joking. No, what he sees is Bucky being genuinely annoyed at the idea of potentially having to invite that side of his family on a mere formality. 

“Make the invitation so gay that they don’t even want to come,” Sam suggests next, then he halts himself before Steve or Bucky can point it out to him. “Oh right, you’ve already got the invitations ordered and have started to send them out.” He sounds a little dreamy when he says this and looks up at the ceiling. “I put mine on my fridge.” 

“Let’s just tell her like it is,” Steve suggests. “From what I’ve heard, I don’t want them there either. So we’ll just tell her we don’t want to invite them,” he adds with a shrug. Not really understanding what the big deal is and why they have to be invited. It’s their wedding, they should have full control over who gets to come and who doesn’t. But at the same time, he sees that Bucky feels stuck between a rock and a hard place. 

“I’ll warm her up to it. I got to work on her for a little bit,” Bucky says and opens his McDonalds bag again to grab some more fries, making it clear that he doesn’t want to talk more about it. He just wanted a moment to whine, he’s had it, and he feels better now, Steve hopes. Bucky still looks a little bit down. 

“Did you manage to track down family?” Sam asks, turning the conversation topic away from Bucky’s family dilemma and turns it to Steve instead. He winces a little at the thought and makes a shake with his head that both says  _ yes _ and  _ no _ at the same time. He considers stealing another one of Bucky’s fries but leaves it. 

“Sorta? I found them on facebook,” Steve says and looks up at Sam. He had set to work two weeks prior when they started sending out invitations for the wedding. Steve had felt like he wanted  _ some _ family present at his wedding but he couldn’t for the life of him even decide on who to ask. His mother had been an only child and her parents had passed away before Steve was ten years old. 

He only vaguely remembers a woman that was supposedly his aunt and he knows he has an uncle somewhere in Kansas, along with another aunt by marriage and a handful of cousins. But he has never actually spoken to his family on his father’s side. They all disapproved of his father marrying his mother, that was what she had always told him. But Steve feels that there has to be more to the story than that. 

For most of his angry teenage years, he had pushed to be told the actual tale and had gotten as far as Sarah snapping at him once that she’d tell him when he was older. Of course, that hadn’t happened. He had buried his mother less than two years later and the secret had died with her. Or at least, partially. 

For a while after that, Steve had thought that his aunt and uncle would reach out to him. But they never had. Then… well, Steve had stopped thinking about it and eventually forgot about it. He had only been reminded of them when they were writing addresses on envelopes for the invitations and Bucky had asked him if there really was no other family he’d like to invite. 

“You’re not inviting them?” Bucky asks curiously and looks at him, shoving the last few fries in his mouth. Steve shrugs and leans back a little, placing his palms on the bench and looks at his painting. 

“I barely knew their names until like a week ago. They’ve never bothered to contact me, it feels weird to just... send them an invitation out of the blue all. Oh hey, you’ve got a nephew you’ve never spoken to and he’s getting married. Want to come? I mean, I’m still thinking about it but no, I don’t think I’ll invite them,” 

Sam shrugs. “Fair enough,” 

“Do you realise how difficult it is though, Sam? Weeding through so many people you’ve met in your lifetime and try to decide if they’ve had enough of an impact in your life to come to your wedding? Fuck, we don’t even know the total amount of invitations we’re going to send out. We’ll be righteously fucked by the time we try to find a venue,”

“You guys don’t even have a venue?!” Sam exclaims, leaning toward Steve and Bucky with surprise. His eyes widen and he mouths a silent curse to himself. “Yeah, you guys are gonna be royally fucked. There’s a bit less than three months left.” 

“Eighty days,” Steve fills in, not that anybody cares, let alone is keeping count but him. Even Bucky thinks that counting the exact number of days is a little overkill but Steve doesn’t care. The moment he utters the little bit of info for everyone to hear in the gallery however, Steve realises that he’s made a mistake. It does not help to mention that they’ve only got eighty days left to go to the wedding with so much to do still and don’t even have a venue to hold it in. “Those cards will be sent out later where exactly the event is going to be.” 

“We’ll be fine,” Bucky huffs and checks the content of his McDonalds bag. He doesn’t take anything out however and looks disappointed. He’s finished everything. “We’ve got money and we can pay, money opens doors,” he says and looks back up at Sam. He looks a whole lot calmer than he actually lets on. Though Steve can’t find any of his nervous tells.

“Yeah it does, if there’s nothing booked in said room. They’re not going to kick out someone they’ve already booked.” Sam snorts, shakes his head and decides to drop it. Steve feels a bundle of nerves kick in action in his stomach. It almost feels like barbed wire is being squeezed around him. What if they don’t find a venue, what if everything is already booked? It’s fucking Brooklyn in New York. There’s two and a half million people living in their nook of the city alone. Booked is booked, sometimes they can’t even squeeze their way into a fast food joint. 

“We’ll find something,” Bucky says, reaches over to take Steve’s hand and squeezes it. It’s almost as if he can read Steve’s mind. The little bit of comfort does make him feel better. Of course they’ll find something, Bucky’s said so. And now they know what sort of venue they want as well, so that makes searching a whole lot easier. And if worst comes to worse? Well. They’ll just have to cave and get themselves a wedding planner to help them out. 

Steve isn’t picky in regards to the venue, as long as if fits everyone then he’s content. It’s Bucky who would like a modern, almost industrial loft style venue with a skyline view. And if Bucky wants that, then Steve will do his best to find one for him. It shouldn’t be that hard. All of Brooklyn lives and breathes that industrial look that Bucky’s so enamored with. 

“Alright,” Sam says and drops the topic. He nods over to the paintings and walks over to them. “Come on, let’s get these up,” 

 

\--

 

Diligently yet carefully, Steve ties Bucky’s wrists together with the black satin piece of rope. Bucky can’t see what knot Steve is doing, he’s got the same bit of fabric covering his eyes, tied behind his head and draping down over his shoulders. Steve almost wants to laugh as Bucky’s cock is already half hard and Steve hasn’t even touched him yet. It’s all purely from anticipation of what he’s going to get and not knowing when he’s going to get it. 

“Not too tight?” Steve asks him and lets go of Bucky’s hands. Bucky tries to pull his wrists apart, then twist them a little in an attempt to get them free. Bucky shakes his head. 

“No, it’s just right,” Bucky tells him with a little smirk. Steve just smiles at the sight. Places one of his hands behind Bucky’s head and pulls him in for a soft kiss. Bucky makes a little noise at that and tries to scoot a little bit closer but Steve pulls away before Bucky has a chance to distract him fully. 

“Sit on your legs,” Steve tells him and turns to the computer. Behind him, Bucky shifts so he’s sitting like he’s told. Steve adjusts the camera a little so he can make out Bucky clearly on the computer and twists it just enough so the canvas that he’ll be painting on is also visible. “You ready?” Steve asks and looks at Bucky over his shoulder. Bucky is biting down on his lower lip and nodding. Steve clicks with the mouse and starts the stream. 

He gets off the bed and goes over to the easel, takes up his paint palette and a brush. It’s become a bit of a habit now, ever since Steve’s viewers asked for RedStar to occasionally make an appearance and fuck him. In the end, Bucky and Steve came to an agreement. Steve would stream on his own every Tuesday and Thursday, occasionally calling in Bucky to join him. But every Saturday evening, they would stream together and instantly open up a room in the couples category. Steve would still take all the earnings, it was still his job, Bucky just joined in for the fun. For the kink of it, for the little bit of spice in the sexlife that they share. 

Steve loves it. He loves working with Bucky who always makes it more exciting. He wouldn’t say that they are a hit every Saturday but a good chunk of Steve’s usual viewers from whenever he streams solo will watch if they are online. And it hasn’t taken them long to get steady viewers of their own that just watch them if they are in the couple's category. That have no interest in seeing Steve perform on his own. 

“It’s the last painting now. I’m going to miss this when we’re done.” Steve takes a look at Bucky, turning so he’s got the painting lined up almost perfectly with the real life Bucky that he’s painting, most of what’s happening in front of Bucky still hasn’t been touched upon. The idea is to paint a hand there, with a thumb gently pulling down Bucky’s bottom lip as if he’s about to be given something to suck. That or just blatantly paint Bucky with a set of fingers in his mouth that he’s already sucking. He hasn’t decided yet. 

“Me too,” Bucky says, keeping perfectly still on the bed. They’ve been doing this for the past six months now and it’s how most of Steve’s paintings for the gallery exhibit have come to be. All the inspiration is purely drawn from them streaming and the situations that they were put in. He even considered to make one painting where the camera, the computer and all the damn equipment was in the background but Bucky talked him out of that. Saying that it deserved an exhibit and a showing of it’s own. So that, Steve decided, would be his next project. Has decided that even before his first showing is completed. 

Though there’s only one week left. In exactly seven days, on the first of May, Steve is going to show his work to the world. He just hopes that they’ll like the eroticism that RedStar is going to bring them. And Steve wonders if there’ll be anyone who can figure out that RedStar is Bucky, standing by Steve’s side. Or if it’ll be obvious. Besides the viewers that turn up, of course. There have been mentions of it in the chat of people asking for details to go and have a look at them. So Steve has happily given them as well as promoted on his twitter and instagram. 

“You want to be my model for the next set of works as well?” Steve asks him with a smile, though he doesn’t look at Bucky. The sound of tokens being dropped echoes through the room and when Steve does look at Bucky, he sees how his cock has hardened and is now standing up. Steve bites down on his lower lip and adds a few more lines of paint to the picture. Bucky is going to make it hard for him again, both literally and figuratively. 

“Course I do, if you’ll have me,” Bucky says, as if Steve ever even considered using someone else as a model when he’s got the beauty that is James Buchanan Barnes available. Steve can’t think of anyone else that he’d rather use for those kind of works. And even if he wanted to use someone else, where the hell was he going to find them in the first place? Steve smirks a little and adds a little bit more paint to his work. 

“Course I’ll have you. I think you’d make a very good streamer actually, if you wanted to. You’d make an excellent model for it, cocky enough to keep everyone wanting more. And you’d never let them have full control either,” Steve points out, pointing to Bucky with his brush, not that he can see it. Bucky shifts a little bit on the bed, seeming to be rather impatient. 

“There’s no fun to it if they get what they want all the damn time. That’s the point of watching something. It’s like surrendering control in a way,” Bucky tells him, Steve has never really thought of it that way but he can see the point that Bucky just made. In a way, watching a stream isn’t that different from a porno. There is just some level of communication still involved which makes it different from just spying on people having sex. It’s consensual. At least in his case. 

“You speaking from personal experience, Red?” Steve teases him a little. Bucky laughs at that, all bright and happy. He leans forward a little bit and his shoulders shake a bit. Then he leans back and in one beautiful snapping movement of his neck, he tosses his hair back again. They should have tied Bucky’s hair back. But when he watches him do that, he’s glad they didn’t. 

“Maybe a little. I know that’s what partially drew me to you,” Bucky confesses. He keeps his hands dangerously close to his cock. But he doesn’t touch himself quite yet and stays within the rules that they’ve set up. Steve doesn’t doubt that Bucky is going to break them eventually, that’s just who he is. But until he does, Steve will enjoy the little game they got going with one another. 

“Tell me what else drew you to me,” Steve says. The words don’t leave his mouth like a question but it’s not quite harsh enough to be a demand. It’s just a simple statement mixed with a request. He can’t remember ever having talked much with Bucky about why he started to watch Steve’s stream. It’s never really brought up on topic, given that Bucky watched him for nearly a decade. Back then, Steve had still been a thin, scrawny little git who had barely been able to afford his asthma medicine, wore glasses because he couldn’t afford lenses, weighed nearly one hundred-fifty pounds less than he does now, and still had to receive a freakish final growth spurt at the age of nineteen that had finally pulled him into the 6’4 that he is today. 

He couldn’t have been very appealing to watch, even if there seemed to be room for everyone in the sex industry. There is room for everyone, sure, but it goes without saying that people with certain looks and certain features always attracts more people to watch them than he did back then. When he grew into the adonis that he is today (or at least, that was what Bucky called him) the process of streaming and earning money off it had become something that he could do fulltime as a proper job. 

Bucky lets out a whistle as he tilts his head back again. “Jesus, where the fuck do I start?” Bucky laughs again. Steve rolls his eyes, finding it difficult that there’s so much to be told that Bucky doesn’t even know where to start. There’s probably just a few points on the list and it wouldn’t surprise Steve if there was one particular thing on said list that’s a kink. 

“I loved that you were so damn angry at everything and nothing, at all the things in the world that deserved to be called out and to be brought to light, while at the same time being so fucking passionate about it,” Bucky begins. Steve bites his lower lip. The first point is one that he didn’t even expected to hear. 

“I loved that you were so into streaming and getting yourself off. You did it for extra cash, sure, so you could pay for college. But at the same time, you loved putting yourself on display like that for the world to see. You got off on knowing that people were watching you, most likely with their dicks in their hands. You loved being the centre attention and their only focus and keeping said attention entirely on you.” 

By now, Steve’s cheeks are burning with heat from a blush that he didn’t even expect. He’s glad that he’s standing far enough away from the camera that it probably isn’t noticeable. And even so, he’s pretty certain that most eyes will be focused on the naked man on the bed. But Bucky doesn’t stop there, he’s got more things to say. 

“I loved that you remembered all of us by our usernames, that you knew exactly who was who and that you referred to us all by names. That you took your time to talk to us, listen to us and learn how our lives were and freaking remember it all. That you kicked out all the bastards in the chat for dropping comments that weren’t okay and you had zero chill. No patience, just straight out, didn’t even offer them a chance at redemption that they didn’t deserve. You didn’t care if they could pay you five hundred in one token drop. You didn’t even want their money when that happened. You just wanted them gone. Remember what you used to say?” 

“My stream is a safe space for everyone, fuck you,” Steve fills in, knowing the words very well. He remembers them vividly, though it has been a while since he was last forced to utter the words and ban someone from his streams. These days, they all seem to behave. Or maybe they just know better now than to try that sort of nonsense in Steve’s chat. 

“Exactly,” Bucky says with a little laugh. By now, he’s started to touch himself. Just light and easy strokes. There’s the familiar sound of token drops again now when Bucky is giving them something more. There have been a few drops but they were far and in between. Not long after the sound has died, it repeats itself again. “I thought it was really hot, how you just asserted so much control from your end. I used to dream about you being so controlling over me. Like this, tie me up to the bed, make me obey you, have you take me in any way that you wanted. I’d cum anyway. I know I would. How could I not?” 

Steve bites down hard on his lower lip again. He’s hard in his boxer briefs now just from hearing that alone. Hearing how Buck’s breathing does that subtle little change, where he’s breathing a little bit harder from his own touch. Just that little bit deeper than normal. He just waits to hear that soft little moan of his. 

“I can do that sometime,” Steve tells him. Thinking to himself that the first time he does, it will just be in their own bedroom in privacy. He wants the pleasure of seeing Bucky like that for the first time. Have his arms spread as each wrist is tied to its own bedpost, giving Steve full control as he’d ride him straight into the mattress. Barely giving Bucky a chance to move his hips up to him. 

“Good,” Bucky says and then he lets out that soft little moan that Steve’s been waiting for. He sees how Bucky’s touch grows a little bit faster, a little bit tighter around himself. It makes Steve’s throat feel dry as he stares at the sight, rather than even think of what he should paint next. His own cock is demanding his attention. Or Bucky’s. The idea of just standing in front of him and have Bucky suck him off while he’s still blindfolded is… yes. 

Steve puts down the paint palette and the brush. He drags the fingers of his left hand through the colours, staining them. There’s another noise of a token drop and Steve moves over to him. Bucky does startle a little bit when Steve gently reaches out to touch his cheek. Bucky only pulls away for a fraction of an instant before he relaxes again and Steve, with paint still on his fingers, brushes them back over Bucky’s cheek, dragging two pink lines over Bucky’s cheek. 

  
“Oh,” Bucky mutters before breaking out into a grin as soon as he realises what exactly he’s feeling. Steve smiles to himself again and drags his fingers down Bucky’s neck. By the time Steve’s fingers make it past Bucky’s collarbone, they don’t stain Bucky’s skin anymore. Steve strokes his thumb from his unstained hand over Bucky’s lips, pulling down his bottom lip a little just like he planned on painting. 

Bucky grins up at him, then leans forward a little and takes Steve’s thumb in his mouth and gives it a suck. Bucky touches Steve’s wrist with his hands, keeping Steve’s arm in place. There’s more token drops but at this point, Steve is starting to grow deaf to them. Then Bucky lets go of Steve’s wrist and pulls his head back, leaving Steve’s thumb wet with saliva. Instead, Bucky now strokes his fingers lightly over Steve’s stomach then down to his cock and strokes him through the fabric of his boxers. 

Steve lets out a little groan and slides his hand into Bucky’s hair, gripping it a little. Bucky moves forward on his own accord, shuffling a little bit closer to the edge of the bed and presses hot open mouthed kisses against Steve’s stomach. Steve groans a little and does his best not to move his hips towards Bucky. Bucky takes control anyway. With his hands still over Steve’s cock, gripping at the root and cupping his balls, Bucky kisses his way down, and soon enough, that very warm, wet mouth presses against the tip. Steve groans again, wanting to feel so much more from the feeling. 

“You wanna get these off for me?” Bucky asks him in a hoarse voice. Steve doesn’t need to be told twice and forgets for an instant that he’s the one supposed to be in charge. He lets go of Bucky’s hair and hooks his thumbs over the waistband of his briefs, tugging them down so his cock is fully in Bucky’s hands now. “Thank you,” he says with a satisfied little smirk.  Steve bites down on his lower lip again and keeps looking at Bucky expectantly to see what he’s going to do next. 

Bucky licks his lips again,and then he nudges Steve’s cock with his nose. Bucky’s tongue gets pressed against the underside of Steve’s cock and then he drags it up. Agonizingly slow. Steve feels a shiver come over him and he moans a little when the little ball of Bucky’s tongue piercing comes to rest on the underside of the tip. Steve doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to the piercing whenever Bucky gives him head. It’s one of the most amazing feelings he’s ever felt in his entire life. 

“Fuck, Red,” Steve breathes and looks down again. The same smug smirk is back across Bucky’s features. Bucky does it again, then he pulls back just enough to lick his lips before taking the head in his mouth. Steve groans again and grabs Bucky’s hair once more, wanting to hold onto something. He stops the reflex of taking hold of Bucky’s head with both of his hands, he wants to leave something for the viewers. So instead, he strokes his chest with his left hand, twisting a nipple. 

Bucky moans around him. A mix from anticipation and eagerness, wanting to spur Steve on and make a show of himself. Bucky loves showing off for the camera just as much as Steve does. It had become increasingly more obvious the more that Steve got him to join in and the more his confidence grew. 

Bucky’s hands slide down to cup Steve’s balls, gently massaging them as he slowly bobs his head up and down a few times before pulling back agonizingly slow. Pressing the piercing to the underside of Steve’s cock as well as he can. When all that Bucky has left in his mouth is the tip, he sucks. Steve moans again and closes his eyes. Loving the treatment that the other man is giving him and suddenly Steve wants nothing more than to have Bucky suck his dick until he cums. But he’s got other plans, there’s nothing else in the world that Steve enjoys more than tensing up around him and cumming. That tension being the last little bit that pushes Bucky over the edge. And he wants to ride him. 

Steve pulls Bucky’s head back with the grip on his hair and obscenely, Bucky drags his tongue under Steve’s cock to the tip, the little stud of his piercing out between his lips until he can’t reach his cock anymore. Bucky grins up at him. 

Steve goes down on his knees and pulls Bucky in for a kiss who instantly parts his lips in it so their tongues can meet. Steve lets out a little moan at that, trailing a hand down Bucky’s chest. Bucky’s hands, still tied together, touch Steve’s neck, placing one hand on either side of his neck in an attempt to keep him in place. But Bucky can’t get a good grip and when Steve pulls away to kiss down Bucky’s neck and then his chest, he’s forced to lower them.

Bucky doesn’t seem to mind though. He tilts his head back with a little moan to give more space to Steve and he leans back. Steve kisses the skin, making sure to suck on Bucky’s shoulder, intent on leaving a small mark there that can be covered up with a shirt. He’d much rather keep them visible but upon Bucky’s request, he makes sure that Bucky can hide them. 

Steve strokes his hand down Bucky’s sides, then slides one around Bucky’s back and pulls him in closer just as he takes the pierced nipple in his mouth. Steve sucks at it and Bucky moans again, keeping his head tilted back and shifting his legs underneath him so he’s more comfortable. Steve lets him, then continues kissing his way down Bucky’s chest. By the time he has kissed to just above Bucky’s belly button, Steve is making the other man shiver.

He pulls away and lets Bucky pull his arms back up as Steve takes Bucky’s cock in his hand. He gives it a couple of strokes and smirks when he hears the moans from Bucky, how he nearly thrusts his hips up against the little bit of touch that he’s getting. Steve smirks at Bucky, loving how red Bucky’s lips are now from sucking him like that, from kissing him. Loves the way his chest rises and falls with little gasps of breath. Loves how, while he’s got full control to actually remove the blindfold, he doesn’t. No, Bucky choses to stick with the mystery. 

Steve gently presses a kiss to the piercing on the underside of Bucky’s cock then drags the tip of his tongue over it. Bucky lets out another little shiver at that. He’s leaking precum from the tip and Steve drags his tongue over it to taste it, loving the little sting of it. Bucky mutters a curse and bites down hard on his lower lip again. Steve grins at him, feeling a little devilish, feeling like all he wants to do is to just wind Bucky up until he’s begging for it. And even then, he’d have to wait because he’d still have to get Steve ready for him. 

Steve doesn’t waste more time after that. He licks the piercing again then down Bucky’s cock to the root of it before dragging his tongue up the side again. He takes Bucky in his mouth, looking up at his blindfolded fiancé to see his reaction. Bucky lets out a little whimper and somewhere far away from them, there’s the sound of more tokens being dropped for them. Steve’s stopped listening entirely by now. 

Steve sucks the head of Bucky’s cock a few times in short, quick little burts and stops before it becomes too much for Bucky. Then he starts to bob his head up and down Bucky’s cock, slowly. Because while he’s sucked Bucky’s cock for nearly two years, blowing him can sometimes be a little bit difficult considering how thick he is. Doesn’t make Steve love it less though. He adores sucking Bucky off whenever he can, sometimes even without wanting anything in return for it. Just push him up against the fridge or wherever Bucky is and go down on his knees for him. 

Bucky lets out the most wonderful moan that Steve can imagine at that. He feels the gentle touch of Bucky’s fingers through his hair, not once pushing him further down. Just little strokes to encourage him and to keep him going, to show his gratitude. Bucky moans again and Steve can feel how his hips twitch forward again in a need to feel more. Steve presses a hand on Bucky’s thigh and keeps him pushed down. 

Bucky lets out a small whine of a complaint at that but doesn’t protest beyond that. Steve continues to work him, already imagining how good it’ll feel to finally have Bucky inside of him and ride Bucky just how he wants him. So Steve doesn’t keep up with it too long. Slowly he pulls back again, sucking the head one final time before pulling away. Bucky lets out a throaty little whimper when he does. 

Steve moves a hand up Bucky’s chest and pushes him down onto the bed. Bucky goes willingly and Steve reaches for the tube of lube that’s standing on the desk. He climbs up on the bed and straddles Bucky’s legs, opens the cap and grabs Bucky’s hands. Steve tugs them closer and squirts the clear lube over Bucky’s fingers who’s grinning wide in anticipation. 

Then Steve shifts further up, feeling Bucky’s dick pressed against his ass and how Bucky’s hands move to Steve’s ass. “C’mon, get me ready for you,” Steve encourages him, stroking a hand up Bucky’s chest, matching the touches exactly to how he touches his own chest. Bucky doesn’t need more encouragement than that. He knows Steve well and his fingers know exactly where to go. The first finger slides in easily, Bucky barely has to push it in before he’s in. The way his wrists are tied together forces him to keep his arms close together and they push Bucky’s pecs together. 

Steve grins and ghosts his fingers over them, moving his hips in tandem with Bucky’s touch which is still gentle. “Give me another come on, I want to feel you,” Steve encourages him and bites down on his lip. He reaches down with his hand to stroke his cock and then moans when he feels the second finger inside of him. It’s far from enough but he will very happily take it until he’s given more. 

Bucky knows exactly how to work Steve, even with as little as only two fingers. So it doesn’t take him all that long to coax a moan out of Steve. To make him want more and move his hips faster in the hope that what he feels will become more. Bucky pushes in a third finger and Steve gasps. Loving how he’s being worked and spread open to take Bucky’s cock which is still pressed against his ass depending on the angle that Steve finds him in. 

“Fuck, that feels good,” Steve moans and closes his eyes, allowing himself to enjoy it for one moment without having to put on a show for the people watching them. He moans again, pressing his hips down on Bucky’s hand in a way that he hopes isn’t uncomfortable for him. 

“Yeah? Wait until it’s my dick,” Bucky teases him and twists his fingers just to tease him. Steve arches his back a little at the twist and lets out a sharp moan. He squeezes himself around the root of his own cock again and whimpers at the feeling it gives him. He’s already imagining it, already imagining how Bucky would take control nonetheless. In the fantasy however, he’s got his hands untied, he’s rolled them over so Steve’s on his back and he’s grabbing his hips hard enough to bruise. He’s thrusting mercilessly into Steve, at a hard and quick pace that barely gives Steve the time to finish one moan before he’s already moaning again. 

But not today. No, Steve doesn’t intent on giving Bucky that much control. He wants to ride him and he wants to put Bucky in the same sort of situation as he imagined himself to be in. He wants Bucky to barely keep up with all the pleasure that Steve’s going to give him. “Take off your blindfold,” Steve tells him and lifts his hips a bit. Bucky pulls out his fingers and does as he’s told, all while Steve reaches for the lube again, squirts it in the palm of his hand and then reaches behind him. He takes Bucky’s cock in his hand and spreads it all over him. 

Bucky groans at getting touched again. He’s pulled off the blindfold now and is looking at Steve with deep, dark hungry eyes. He’s even gone as far as to leave his hands above his head, putting all of his upper body on full display for Steve while he grabs onto the sheets of the bed. Steve winks at him and lifts his hips a little. He lines Bucky up, the tip pushed up against him, and then lowers himself on top of him. 

They moan in unison when Bucky enters him and Steve tries his best not to tense up around him. Bucky just feels too damn good and Steve badly wants to hurry getting him fully inside which has never been a good idea. Patience pays off and when he finally has lowered himself fully down on Bucky, he feels breathless and full. “Jesus, you feel good,” Steve praises Bucky. It doesn’t matter that he’s already said it hundreds of times before, he’ll say it another million times to make sure that Bucky doesn’t forget it. 

Bucky’s grinning up at him, all wide and happy. When Steve sees that, he can’t help but lean in and kiss him. Bucky surges up the little bit that he can to meet the kiss, kissing him back eagerly as if he’s still trying to find a faint taste of himself on Steve’s lips. Steve indulges him for a little bit, then pushes Bucky down again with his hand in the middle of his chest and straightens up. 

Steve bites down on his lip and winks at him before starting to move his hips. He does so calmly, trying to find what is going to work best with their current position. Steve finds it quickly and doesn’t waste much more time quickening up the roll of his hips on top of Bucky. He moans loudly at that, tilting his head back and relishing in the feeling that he’s been craving ever since he first saw Bucky’s hardon while painting. That one person can drive him so mad, so eager and so fucking horny by just existing is something that not even his teenage self ever would have believed. 

“Jesus,” Bucky groans out, keeping his blue eyes fixed on Steve. He lets out another moan and then his eyes fall shut. Steve joins him in that, enjoying the thick feeling he has of Bucky’s cock moving in and out of him entirely in his own control. Stretching him and giving him such a wonderful full sensation. It’s the best he’s felt in all of his life. 

“You feel amazing,” Steve mutters to him, moaning again as the pleasure grows more intense. “Fuck, you feel good. I want your dick inside of me forever, Red, jesus.” Steve’s barely thinking of the rhythm that he’s setting for them both. He moves entirely on instinct and Bucky seems to love it just as much as Steve does. Steve bites down on his lower lip and groans again. He slides a hand down over his chest and to his cock, taking it in hand and stroking himself again. 

He whimpers a little at the extra sensation of it, tensing up just a little bit around Bucky. At this rate Steve, can already tell that he won’t be able to last much longer. He feels how Bucky shifts his legs a little and then next Steve’s given a light thrust in him. He lets out a little gasp at that. 

“Oh fuck, do that again,” Steve says, placing a hand on Bucky’s chest and leans a little forward, changing the angle in which Bucky would thrust into him. Steve’s feeling breathless and greedy. Wanting everything that he’s already been given and more, so much more. He suddenly doesn’t want to be in charge as much as he is now, suddenly all that he wants is for Bucky to take control and roll them over. For Bucky to fuck him like they’re meant to spend days, weeks, even months apart again. Fucking Steve so hard that he feels it for the entire time that they spent separate. 

“What? This?” Bucky asks him all coy but does exactly what he’s asked and thrusts into Steve again. Steve lets out the same little gasp and scratches his nails over Bucky’s chest. All he can do to respond is just nod, almost stupidly with his mouth dropped a little. Bucky does it again and again and then he settles into a rhythm that’s mind blowingly wonderful and makes Steve feel so fucking wonderful. 

“God, you feel good,” Steve whines again, followed by another weak pathetic noise he can only remember making a handful of times. “Fuck, Red, jesus,” Steve whines, then leans in over Bucky to kiss him. Bucky kisses him back with the same eagerness, moving in the little bit he can manage towards him. Bucky keeps thrusting, managing to keep the same rhythmic movement that makes Steve marvel at how he manages that. How he can keep the appropriate amount of focus and not lose himself fully in the pleasure. 

“You like it?” Bucky asks in a deep voice as their kiss breaks, their lips barely apart from one another. Steve whimpers again and nods, stroking his fingers over Bucky’s cheek. He presses his forehead against Bucky’s shoulder, feeling the warm metal in his stomach uncoil itself in his stomach. 

“Just a bit more, please, just a bit more,” Steve says against Bucky’s skin before straightening up again. Bucky keeps going at the exact same pace as before, not changing it unless Steve demands it. Below him, Bucky is absolutely stunning, his skin is glistening a little from sweat in the light. His arms are still above his head and he’s still holding a tight grip on the sheets. His hair is a mess underneath him, the muscles in his abdomen move in such an enthralling way that it’s hard to keep his eyes off them. 

“A little more. Keep going. Nearly there,” Steve tells him, feeling his own orgasm coming and coming fast. Making him unable to stop it even if he wanted to. Bucky takes his words to heart, there’s something ragged in his own moans and breathing, hurried and light, he’s not far after. Seems like Steve is about to get what he originally planned to do. 

Bucky thrusts into him a handful more times and with a surprise, Steve tenses up and cums over Bucky’s chest. It’s almost painful but just as wonderful when Bucky keeps thrusting into him through his orgasm, allowing him to ride it out a bit more. Like this, Bucky feels huge to him and then he  cums inside of Steve with a long, deep moan. Bucky grinds his hips into Steve and keeps them there, wanting to feel as much as he possibly can from the heat that is Steve. 

Steve’s the first one to come down from his orgasm and he blinks a couple of times before he looks down at Bucky. His eyes are shut, his mouth is open as his chest rises and falls with his pants. The corners of his mouth hint at the most wonderful smile. It makes Steve grin a little and he strokes his hand up Bucky’s abdomen to his chest, spreading the cum over him and leans in to give him a soft, sweet kiss. 

Bucky keeps smiling into the kiss as he turns his head towards Steve, then looks at him with a wonderful glint in his eyes. He looks happy and bites down on his lower lip as he looks at Steve. He looks absolutely and stunningly in love with Steve. Steve strokes his finger over Bucky’s lower lip and watches how Bucky takes it in his mouth. He feels the suction of it when Bucky cleans him off. It makes Steve giggle a little bit. 

“Hi Doll,” Bucky says when he lets go of Steve’s finger and presses a soft little kiss to his lips. Steve makes a little pleased noise at that. “I love you,” Bucky whispers to him, quiet enough so that the people watching them don’t hear the secret few words that’s meant to be for them and them alone. 

“I love you too,” Steve whispers back and in that moment, he’s never been more certain about anything in his life. 

 

\--

 

An hour later, they’re both cleaned up, showered, dressed in their clothes for the night and in bed together. Bucky’s wearing a pair of soft pajama pants and nothing else whereas Steve’s more content with his t-shirt and boxers briefs. By the time he lifts the duvet to get into the bed, Bucky’s already in it and is reading one of his novels. It’s a new copy, different from the one that he was reading last night, and the spine is still unbent. It’s a little bit odd to see Bucky reading a book that’s brand new but Steve figures that Bucky finally must have finished reading all the books he had left behind in Brooklyn before his move to the states and now finally could read new ones. 

“What you reading?” Steve asks and pulls the thick duvet up to his shoulders and rolls onto his side, watching Bucky read. He seems to be close to the ending of a section in his book or he’s already started on a new one. Steve can’t quite tell if Bucky is reading before or after the little feather… leaf? Symbol. He can’t quite make out what it’s meant to be from this angle. 

“Annihilation,” Bucky responds as if that tells Steve everything he needs to know. It tells Steve jack shit but Bucky starts to mouth the words as he’s reading so Steve knows he’s reading the end of a section. Then he puts the book down on his stomach and smiles at Steve. “Remember that netflix movie we watched together? About that area that was restricted and they sent in scientists and such to stop it from spreading? With the real freaky merged monsters?” 

“Oh, I remember that one,” Steve says with a nod. He hadn’t liked the story of the movie per se but he had adored the art and the effects of it. Bucky, of course, had been enthralled with the story, the sci fi nerd that he is. For Steve, it had been too much, he much more preferred to watch historical things or life stories. “Is it any good?”

“It’s alright.” Bucky thumbs at the corner of the paperback novel but doesn’t look at the book. Instead he keeps his eyes and full focus on Steve. There’s a faint smile on his features. “Can I ask you something?” 

“You really don’t have to ask that but go on.” Steve looks away from the book and Bucky’s hand and up at him instead. He smiles a little at him, waiting patiently for Bucky to continue with what’s weighing on his mind. He doesn’t feel particularly worried, Bucky looks calm and more curious than anything. Bucky looks ahead of him and straight to their dresser, above it is one of Bucky’s movie posters he had in Russia and on it there’s a hand lotion and a spray bottle of deodorant. Beside that, their bedroom is rather plain, Steve thinks, but he likes it nonetheless. 

“You really like bottoming, don’t you?” Bucky asks and looks back at Steve who’s a little bit surprised by the question. Steve nods his response anyway, feeling that Bucky still needs it to continue whatever is weighing down on his mind. “Have you ever been on top? Not like earlier, but like, topped someone?” Bucky asks curiously. Steve lets out a whistle at the question, then a chuckle. 

“In my entire life, I’ve topped three times,” he recollects, though he can’t quite remember when those three times was. He knows that they were years upon years ago. But he can’t remember the exact years. “Once in High School, when I lost my virginity and that… well. That was a disaster.” Steve snorts at the thought, Bucky looks at him with an amused eyebrow, clearly wanting to know the full tale behind that statement. “He was a virgin too and so stressed so it just… hurt a lot for him and then his brother walked in on us so that was awkward. I didn’t dare to go back to his house ever again after that,” 

Bucky giggles a little at the admission and Steve joins in. In hindsight, it wasn't that terrible but when you’re a teenager, it sure as hell feels like the end of the world. So while that had been the moment where Steve had sex for the first time in his life and thus the actual time he lost his virginity, he doesn’t really count it. He counts the first time he bottomed with his first boyfriend a few months later as the time he truly lost it. 

“Second time was with a grindr hookup. Third was with another guy I was dating for a short while but he didn’t like it after trying so we never did it again.” Steve shrugs a little. “Have you ever?” he asks. Bucky has only ever topped him and Steve can still very vividly remember the time when they were streaming and Steve had asked him during one of their mutual masturbation session.  _ Do you top? _ Bucky’s answer had been clear as day and ingrained in his memory.  _ Exclusively _ . Now he is curious to hear if Bucky has ever been a bottom. The idea is more arousing than he expects at first and Steve bites down on his lower lip in anticipation while he waits for his answer. 

“No.” Bucky shakes his head. “Never, not once in my entire life. I’ve always been too chicken, afraid it would hurt, you know?” Bucky confesses and somehow that’s not the reason that Steve had been expecting, even if he’s not entirely sure what else he thought he’d get to hear instead. Yet, he finds it a fully normal reasoning behind never having done it. At times it could be painful, especially if you didn’t prepare well enough. And if you worried? Well, it’s only likely to hurt much more then. 

“I know what you mean,” Steve says with a little nod to him. He too had been afraid that it would hurt the first time but he trusted the guy that he had been with and they had taken it slow. Preparing him and working towards it over the stretch of a couple of weeks with fingers and toys. Slowly easing him up to the idea of having something and someone inside of him. By the time Steve was able to take a toy just a bit thicker than the cock of the guy that he was with, he had relaxed and knew with confidence that he could take him. It had gone smoothly and had been a mind blowing experience. 

“I was thinking, maybe. I’d like to try it. Maybe you’d like to top me sometime?” Bucky asks and Steve’s struck with how young and almost insecure he sounds when he asks. Like he’s still terrified that it might hurt, that he might not like it, but still be curious enough to want to try it. And more importantly, trust Steve to try it with. That’s what makes Steve feel warm in his chest and smile at him. Bucky trusts him. 

“Of course, if you want me to then we can try it together,” Steve says, takes out his hand from under the duvet and takes Bucky’s hand in his own. He squeezes it and feels how Bucky does the same. Hoping that it makes him feel a little calmer. There’s a nervous giggle that escapes Bucky but he seems to be relieved with the answer. 

Bucky mouths a silent little thank you to him and drops his head against the pillows he’s got poofed up behind his back. Then he looks down at his book, lets go of Steve’s hand and puts his bookmark between the pages. “You wanna get our thumbs out of our asses and see if we can find a venue?” 

Steve snorts and rubs his eyes. “God, we should, shouldn’t we?” Steve asks before sighing. He nods and sits up, poofing up the pillows behind his back as well. “Yeah, let’s. See if we can book in a couple to go see this week and hopefully find something.” Steve drops down against the pillows. Bucky leans in and presses a kiss to Steve’s cheek and then pulls himself out from under the duvet. 

“I’ll go get the laptop. Making myself a sandwich, you want one? I’m starving,” Bucky asks, remains standing by the edge of the bed to hear Steve’s response. Steve shakes his head, gets another kiss on his cheek and then moves to leave the bedroom to get his laptop and a sandwich. 


	3. Chapter 3

“You nervous?” Bucky asks, adjusting Steve’s shirt one final time. Straightening it out over his shoulders. For some reason, Steve feels nervous while wearing a shirt. He has only ever done it twice in his life. One being his graduation, the second for his mother's funeral. The third now would be the gallery opening and he imagines that the fourth time will be when they finally are to get married. 

“A little,” Steve admits and tugs at the bottom hem of his shirt, instantly ruining the work that Bucky did on the shirt and tugging it crooked again. Bucky just smiles at him, smacks his hand once and fixes him right up again. He smiles back at him. It’s a wonder, really. Bucky looks completely at ease wearing shirts and he looks handsome while doing so. “I mean, you only get one first proper gallery opening, right?” Steve asks with a little chuckle and looks down at his clothes. They don’t  _ feel _ like him. Not that there is a dress code to the showing but he’s the artist, he should look somewhat presentable at least. 

“Listen,” Bucky says, places his hands on either of Steve’s cheeks and presses their foreheads together. “You are going to do great. You are an amazing painter and an amazing artists and all those works hanging in there are proof of that. And now there’s people lining up outside by the doors because they want to see what you’ve created. They’re here to see you and to meet you, okay? You have all the right to be a little bit nervous, to feel that little dance in your stomach, yes. But remember, you are going to do fine, the hard work is already done, you’re here now, you’re ready and good to go. You’re amazing, you got this.” 

Steve nods a couple of times, forcing a strained little smile at him. Bucky is right, the hard work is already done. He’s already finished painting all his works, he got someone to see them and become willing to exhibit them for him. Most people don’t even make it beyond that stage. This is the easy part and yet somehow the most intimidating part of all. All that’s left to do is show his works to the rest of the world and hope they like it. Why is that so much harder than the rest? 

“You’re right.” Steve takes a breath and straightens up a little. He smiles at Bucky and raises his shoulders. The nerves haven’t eased up despite Bucky’s speech. If anything, it’s only gotten worse. But Bucky is right, he feels that in his heart. Bucky is completely, absolutely right like he always is. He is amazing and he got this. “I got this,” he says out loud, as if speaking it out loud will make the words more true. 

“You got this,” Bucky says and places both of his hands on Steve’s shoulders, squeezing his thumbs right under Steve’s collarbone. The dull pressure that hurts just a little does enough to bring him back to reality. Bucky looks so proud of him, so happy. “We’re all here for you okay? We all got your back. The first ten people that’ll come through that door are our friends and they’re here for you, okay? That’s not scary, that’s good. You’re going to do great, you got this. You look handsome, you’ve earned all of this. You’re amazing and I love you,” 

Steve feels a little bit teary eyed at Bucky’s second speech. It’s all nerves, Steve knows that, but that doesn’t make him feel any less frustrated about the situation. Yet, Bucky’s words seep down into his core and he finds himself believing what Bucky has told him. “I love you too,” Steve says and smiles at him. Suddenly, that’s all that in the world that matters to him. 

There’s the sound of heels and in the gallery room where they’re standing, one of the hostesses appears. She flattens her skirt and looks at the pair of them, seemingly not caring about the art that’s hanging on the walls. After having worked in the art industry for a while, Steve guesses that you get used to most things that people want to put on display for the world. What is a little bit of gay porn going to do? 

“It is ten o’clock,” she informs them in a voice that sounds sugary sweet and somehow doesn’t quite fit the way she looks, Steve thinks. “Are you ready for the doors to be opened?” she asks and folds her hands together while waiting for an answer. Steve opens his mouth to stammer out his response but whatever he’s even thought of saying dies somewhere in his throat before it gets out. 

“Yes. We’re ready,” Bucky tells her for the sake of Steve and flashes a smile to the hostess. She bows down her upper body and disappears again. Suddenly, Steve is filled with the ice in his chest and stomach that is called dread. He looks back at Bucky, eyes wide and terrified at the idea that the room is about to be filled with a bunch of strangers (well, mostly strangers) looking at thirty pieces of art that he’s poured his heart and soul and love for one James Buchanan Barnes into for the past nine months. 

Suddenly, that seems to be so intimate, showing too much of himself to the world. Steve realises the irony of that thought, considering he puts himself on display for the world three times a week. But this? This is different, this is personal. Bucky takes his hand and kisses him, as if he knows the panic that is building up within his chest is going to take over. 

“You got this,” Bucky whispers to him and squeezes Steve’s hand again, gives him one of those ridiculously handsome winks of his and turns to stand by Steve’s side. 

“I got this,” Steve mutters over and over to himself, hearing how the people start to fill in the hallway. How the hostesses offers welcomes and takes coats, giving out little printed pamphlets and answering questions. 

The first person that comes into the gallery is Sam. As Sam spreads his arms and walks over to him with one gigantic, proud grin, Steve feels as if he can take on the world again. Bucky is by his side and now Sam. He is going to survive this day. Bucky lets go of his hand and Steve steps over to Sam, falling into the hug that his longtime friend is offering him. Sam laughs and pats his hand in the midst of Steve’s back. 

“I am so fucking proud of you, look at you! Look what stone you finally kicked and see what yard it ended up in, huh? This is your dream!” Sam reminds him before he lets go of Steve, taking a step back but still keeping a firm grip of Steve’s shoulders to keep him in place. As if he wants to make sure that Steve isn’t going to run away. Then he lets go with one hand and shows the pamphlet to Steve. On the cover is a picture of one of the more innocent paintings that’s hanging in the gallery. It’s one of Bucky just reading in bed with a thin sheet over his waist. Steve had painted that during the boiling summer. 

“Now, I refuse to read this. I want to hear it all from you. Come on, give me the tour,” Sam encourages, slips his arm around Steve’s shoulders and pulls him off to one of the paintings to get him started. Steve chuckles nervously but he’s glad that the first person he’s got to talk to is Sam. So he indulges him. Bucky stays behind somewhere, Steve can’t spot him when he looks over his shoulder but he can feel that Bucky’s still in the room with them both, keeping a watchful eye over him and most likely being the number one person to answer the hostess’ questions about what he and Steve would like them to do in certain situations. 

Steve couldn’t be more grateful for the support. 

 

\--

 

The first two hours of the showing were the most hectic ones. The gallery seemed to be filled with people constantly wanting his attention and asking him about the works. It made Steve feel so busy that he honestly didn’t have the time to be nervous anymore. Around noon, people started trailing off. The hostesses assured Steve that this was normal. Around noon people ate, after all. They would start to trickle in around one in the afternoon. With having been busy from the opening until now, Steve had forgotten that there was something called regular schedules and routines which meant that people had to eat. 

Beside Sam, more friends turned up than Steve had originally expected. Bucky’s friend Clint turned up and seemed to be the only one in the gallery who had been content with black jeans, a band t-shirt and a jean jacket. It made him stick out a little but Steve was still grateful for his support. Bruce showed up which overjoyed Steve. He hasn't seen the man in a good couple of years and lost touch with him. Bruce told him that the gallery showing had turned up on his facebook feed and after reading into it, he had seen it was put up by Steve so he decided to go. He couldn’t stay long though but they promised to keep in touch with one another. Steve, of course, extended an invitation to the wedding and the two men swapped numbers.  

Thor made an appearance, finding that the showing was both daring and sexy. Steve was also surprised to see Thor whom he had been keeping in touch with ever since the two had met at the adult entertainment expo in Las Vegas three years ago. They had become fast friends and Thor streamed somewhere from Californa four days a week. He had been overjoyed at seeing his old friend again and instantly introduced him to Bucky who couldn’t help but stare at Thor’s arms at first. Thor, as golden as he was, didn’t seem to mind. Thor also got an invitation to the wedding. 

But it wasn’t just friends and strangers that turned up. Every now and then, someone would come up to Steve and shake his hand. Revealing that they were a big fan of Steve’s stream and that they were so pleased to finally have a chance to meet The President, and of course Red, in person. 

Steve didn’t really expect many viewers to turn up. Sure, he had posted the info on his twitter, instagram and his work facebook page. But he had also been a realist in the sense that he knew his viewers are scattered around the globe. At most, he had expected one person to turn up, considering some viewers are in Brazil (or fans of the Brazil football team), all over Europe, Mexico, Canada, Australia and so on. Hell, it was only one big oddity to the world that Bucky was born in Brooklyn and moved to Russia, he thinks. 

Turned out, there were at least five other viewers in New York that had taken the chance to come see the gallery. So at first, there had been a gradual worry that Bucky would become a slight bit jealous once he would meet them. Instead, Bucky had just been happy to meet the people who had supported Steve alongside with him for all those years. The only moment that was a slight stressful was when Sam referred to Bucky by his name and Bucky kicked him for it, still wanting to keep his anonymity. 

All in all, Steve feels pretty damn good about the gallery opening. He still feels his nerves vibrate under his skin. A steady little buzz that without a doubt will last well into the night. He was barely able to sleep last night and now he feels pretty confident of the fact that he’ll just lay awake all night talking to Bucky about the gallery. Bucky just saying less and less until he falls asleep and Steve will just keep talking for another hour before he’d notice. 

All in all, Steve thinks the whole ordeal went by very smoothly. For the first time, he feels quite proud of himself and how composed he has managed to stay despite all his anxiety. He hasn’t hidden in a broom cupboard to have a panic attack and Bucky hasn’t had to come save him. So, all is good. Nerves tingling but all is good, he feels both happy and proud. 

Bucky seems to notice, munching away on some of the crackers that he has collected from some of the hostesses and piled a bunch of them on a napkin in his hand. Bucky bumps their shoulders together and smiles at Steve, offering him one of the crackers. “How you feeling?” Bucky asks just as Steve takes one of the crackers with what he suspects is tuna mixed with mayo and puts it in his mouth. 

“Edgy but good, actually. Real good,” Steve answers as soon as he’s chewed and swallowed his cracker. He watches Bucky stuff his face with one more. “It’s going well, isn’t it? Lots of people. Nobody seems to hate it yet. And if they do, they’re not showing it. So that’s also good, I think.” 

“You’re doing amazing,” Bucky tells him, leaning against Steve’s shoulder a little bit. “You’re doing a real good job and you created a lot of beautiful art. I told you that everything would be fine, didn’t I?” Bucky says and somehow he manages not to sound too damn smug, like Steve fully well knows Bucky’s capable of when he’s right about something. Steve nods a couple of times because of course Bucky told him and he shouldn't have doubted his words. Anxiety always manages to do a number on everyone, him especially. “Do you want to go out for dinner tonight? Celebrate?” Bucky asks him with a naughty little smile, the idea of it cheers Steve right up. “I could book us a nice place…?” Bucky tempts. 

“I would very much like that,” Steve tells him and leans in to kiss Bucky on his cheek. “Will you be able to have dinner though? At the rate you’re finishing those little crackers...” Steve steals another cracker from Bucky’s napkin but this time, he finds it harder as Bucky pulls his hand away, putting the crackers out of reach for him. 

“Don’t you worry about that. What do you want? That fancy Chinese place? The Barbeque place? You could order those ribs you like, we could share a bottle of wine?” Bucky suggests, turning on the bench and rests with his back against Steve’s arm. He tilts his head back against Steve’s shoulder. “That’d be nice, don’t you think?” 

“That would be nice,” Steve agrees. A little bit of wine and a nice dinner with Bucky would calm him down just enough, he imagines, so he could sleep again. “I ordered some stuff, you know, for us,” Steve says in a low tone to Bucky, now that they’re not surrounded with people. If they speak in a low tone then everything they say will be kept in between the two of them. 

“Oh?” Bucky says, then pauses. “Oh! Oh yeah, we could maybe have a look at that when we get home. Try a thing or two?” Bucky suggests, causin a little smile to spread across Steve’s face. Steve has kept his order secret, all but forgotten it until he signed for the package this morning. It would be a good way to finish the evening if they work themselves through some of the contents of the box. 

“Sounds like we have a plan then. You may book us a table at some restaurant. Surprise me, alright? I’ve got no preference today,” Steve says and presses a kiss against Bucky’s head. He hears the soft little hum of the other as he agrees, no doubt already plotting on how to surprise him the best. “I love you,” Steve whispers to him, feeling the urge to kiss him again, so he does. 

“I love you too, doll,” Bucky says and Steve can hear in the sound of his voice that Bucky is smiling. Steve does the same and looks to his ring again, fiddling with it with his thumb. This could be his life, he realises at that moment. Art gallery showings with paintings that he’s made with Bucky leaning against him and offering his support, suggesting celebrations and dinner dates after. Steve’s never really had a whole lot of luck in his life when it comes to love but when he looks at Bucky like that, he knows in his heart that he’s found the whole one true love of his life. Maybe it’s true that people only get one and he’s found his. 

“Do you hear that?” Bucky asks and sits up straight. There’s something rigid in his spine and Steve frowns a little. He strokes his hand up Bucky’s spine and squeezes his neck while he tries to hear what Bucky’s hearing. He can’t quite make it out amongst the noise of the few people talking. If there is one thing that this gallery needs improvement on it’s the way the sound echoes through it. 

“Hear what?” Steve asks and shifts a little closer to Bucky. Bucky tosses the last cracker in his mouth and crumples up his napkin. Then Bucky turns to Steve, eyes wide open and skin pale. He looks absolutely, positively terrified. “What?” Steve asks again and raises his shoulders, hinting that he doesn’t know. Bucky jumps up from the bench they’ve been sitting on. 

“Dad,” he hisses before darting off to the hall. Steve remains seated on the bench for another couple of seconds before he realises the impact of the word. And the loaded meaning behind them. George Barnes is here which means Winnie Barnes is here which most likely means that at least one of Bucky’s sisters has come along with them. They know that Steve has a gallery showing opening up today. They know that the theme is RedStar which Steve hasn’t told them what stands for because well,  _ RedStar _ means fucking nude paintings of their son. And now they are here to check out the gallery. Steve glances at the painting to his right, the one he painted just a week ago. With Bucky blindfolded and wrists tied together, sucking someone’s fingers while his cock is standing up. 

Shit. 

Steve gets up as well and dashes out to the hallway after Bucky. He passes by Sam who is talking to one of the hostesses and seems to be more interested in her than the artwork. Steve can’t blame him. He’s been here for over two hours now and he’s helped Steve hang them up as well. Once Steve turns into the hallway, his stomach drops. It’s not just George, Winnie, and one of Bucky’s sisters that have come to see the art that Steve’s made. Instead, it’s all of his sisters, luckily no boyfriends, another woman about Winnie’s age who looks a lot like her so Steve assumes it must be the aunt he’s never met. 

“What are you guys doing here?” Bucky hisses to them and Steve swears Bucky sinks a little bit through his knees when he asks them. The guard watches them with careful eyes, keeping almost all of his focus on the Barnes family while every now and then glancing at both Steve and Bucky to see if they perhaps want the group escorted out. 

“What do you mean what are we doing here? We’re here to have a look at Steve’s work. We’re so excited to finally see some. Come here and give your mother a hug,” Winnie demands of Bucky who does as he’s told and gives her a hurried hug before pulling away. One of the twins is handed a pamphlet by one of the hostesses. Judith has a look at the painting printed on the cover of it and breaks out into a giggle before nudging Doris to get her attention. Doris snickers as well when she sees it and the first thing Bucky does is snatch it out of their hands to prevent them from opening it and seeing more revealing things. He’s rather pink in the face. 

“Hi.” Steve comes up to them and puts a hand on Bucky’s back to show him that he’s there and that he’s attempting to help him through this whole ordeal. But how on earth is he supposed to explain to them that he’s painted a bunch of nudes of their son? “Uhm, I’m very grateful that you’ve come here to support. But uh, this showing might… be a little explicit? I’m not sure you’d like to see it.” Steve pulls a face at George and Winnie before remembering that there’s another woman in the group that he’s never met before. “Hi, I’m Steve.” He extends his hand to the woman who shakes it although Steve doesn’t catch her name. 

“I’m pretty sure everyone’s seen naked people, Steve,” George says, sounding a little too amused for Steve’s liking. Steve groans a little and nods his head, knowing that George is right. The twins giggle again and Becca gives them a look with a raised eyebrow. 

“What Steve’s trying to say is,” Bucky steps closer and in front of Steve, shielding him a little bit from embarrassment, “that this showing is uhm, it’s adult? Like really adult. And I know everyone in this room has seen naked people before but. This is like a whole lot more personal. You might find that the model is quite familiar? In certain positions, poses and the like that you might wish you never really saw? That you might have wished you rather stayed home today or went to work or whatever. Hi, aunt Edna.” Bucky blocks the doorway with his body as he speaks, seemingly adamant on not letting anyone pass through the door until all his will to fight is quenched. 

“We’re all adults here, aren’t we?” Winnie huffs. “We’ve been hearing about this for nearly a year now and we want to see the finished results. James Barnes, come on now, move,” she instructs him and waves with her hand at him to make him step aside. Bucky casts one last hopeless look at Steve but he doesn’t know what to say that might stop them in their tracks. So Bucky sighs and steps aside, gesturing for them to wander in and then presses his thumb and index finger to his eyelids, turning pinker with embarrassment. 

“Don’t worry,” Judith whispers to him as she walks past him. “We won’t tell anyone about your kinks,” she teases. Bucky looks absolutely mortified before he regains himself and pulls a face at his youngest sister, attempting to brush off her comment. But as soon as she turns her back towards him and enters the gallery, Bucky turns from pink to red and hides his head in one of his hands. 

“I’m sorry,” Steve says for reasons he can’t quite explain. Somehow he feels like it’s his fault, even if he had no part to play in inviting Bucky’s family over. He has done his best to remain discreet about the showing and not give away too many details. Apparently, he slipped up somewhere and must have uttered a detail that made them realise the date and time. They pushed, really wanting to see what Steve has created. And for as far as he knows, he has managed to keep it a secret. Or at least, so he thought. 

“Not your fault,” Bucky sighs, removes his hand from his face and looks after his family. His face is still red and his ears are the same, deep red color. “Let’s just get this over with, maybe they’ll just get the fuck out of here the moment they see it. We’re still going out later though.” Bucky forces a small smile to Steve, then turns to head down into the gallery as well. Steve smiles back at him, glad that at least Bucky doesn’t intent on letting this ruin their day. They still got so much to look forward to and to celebrate. 

Steve follows him into the gallery again and fights the urge to bite down on his nails. He hasn’t done that since his mother was dying and fought hard to break the habit. Steve has no idea how his future in-laws will react and part of him didn’t want to know. 

The Barnes family doesn’t reach very far before Sam comes in their path to hug Winnie. “Momma Winnie, what on earth are you doing here?” Sam asks and rubs her back, bending down just a little to hug her. “When are you going to invite me back over? I’ve been ready to murder someone for your lasagna. Tried the recipe that you gave me but I botched it. I mean it was good but not nearly as good. George, ladies.” Sam greets them all and earns himself a content little nod from George. 

One of the girls giggles at Sams greeting, Steve can’t quite make out which one from her back but he puts his money on Doris. She always has had a little bit of a sweet eye on Sam, ignoring that he’s nearly twenty years older than her. She has always liked him and when Bucky first questioned her about it, she just told him that she thought he was both sweet and funny. Two traits that she found to be rather rare in this day and age, as she said herself. 

“Well, they decided to surprise us,” Bucky says with a stiff smile. He squeezes Steve’s arm a little and turns to him, leaning in a little before he speaks in a low, hushed tone. “I’m gonna tackle myself a glass of that wine or champagne or whatever.” Bucky lets go of Steve’s hand and heads off and over to the bar where a small group of hostesses have gathered. Steve watches him go and then, without thinking, brings his fingers up to his lips. He catches himself doing it and lowers his hand again. Taking a deep, almost shaky breath as he hears Sam talk with Winnie and George. Judith and Becca have already trailed off with their aunt to look at the paintings but Doris remains close by Sam’s side which seems to make him a little nervous. 

As they talk, Steve can tell how George’s gaze is floating around in the room and having a look at the art. So Steve takes a step closer and joins the other four in their circle. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees how one of the hostesses hands Bucky a drink and how he finishes half of it in one go. 

“It’s a bit daring, isn’t it? Good but daring,” George says and gestures around the gallery. Steve gives a stiff and ashamed smile. 

“We did kind of warn you,” Steve says as kindly as he can without trying to sound too bold. The last thing he wants is to rub it in George’s face. He’s learned by now that the man is a sweetheart but he still looks stern and intimidating. Sometimes, Steve still worries about meeting the stern and intimidating man he looks at most of the time. George lets out a little sigh but doesn’t seem annoyed at Steve for pointing it out. 

“You did,” George confirms, then trails off to look at the paintings. Doris grabs Sam by his hand and drags him off with a request to look with her, leaving Steve alone with Winnie. She shuffles closer to him and places a hand on Steve’s back. The anxiety nearly makes him flinch out of his skin. 

“I can tell that this… is very personal to the pair of you. I’m sorry we barged in. We just wanted to support you,” Winnie explains. It makes Steve feel a little bit better and a little bit less humiliated. In the end, they just meant well. They just wanted to be there for him and him specifically. It means the world to Steve who can’t share his success with his family. They took up the mantle of being his family so well that he felt a little bit guilty for pushing them away. 

“I should have said something, I’m sorry,” Steve pulls a face, hoping that she’s not too angry with him. Or upset, that almost must be worse. The guilt would eat him up from the inside if he knew that he upset her. Instead, Winnie winks at him and settles his anxiety just a little. 

“Don’t be, we’ll be out of your hairs soon,” she promises him. And Steve believes her. He watches how she walks over to George who’s talking to one of the other guests in the gallery and points over to the painting. He seems to be so proud and the man he’s talking to seems to be so uncomfortable to have George next to him. Now that Steve has a better look at him, he realises that it’s one of his viewers that George is talking to. 

Rather than watch the scene unfold of how Winnie gets George’s attention and whispers something in his ear, he turns and heads over to the small bar. Bucky is still standing by it with his back turned to them. When Steve comes over, he sees that his ears are just a faint shade of pink. He’s no longer red but the same shade that is covering Bucky’s ears is still on his cheeks. He spins the champagne glass around on the counter and looks down at it. 

“Your mom says they’ll leave soon. She says she’s sorry,” Steve tells him in a low tone, watching Bucky as he stops spinning his glass. Then he groans and covers his face with both of his hands. “She didn’t realise.” 

“No, of course,” Bucky sighs and straightens up. He finishes his champagne glass and pulls a face. Then he dares himself to look over his shoulder and watch his family. George and Winnie are talking to one another in hushed voices. Doris is still talking with Sam who looks just like Bucky; like he’d rather be elsewhere. Becca and Judith are still talking to the aunt whose name Steve’s already forgotten. “We should have told them. Something, anything.” He bites down on his lower lip and then looks at Steve, guilty. “This didn’t ruin it for you, did it?” 

“What? No, no, Buck, no. Of course it didn’t ruin it,” Steve assures him and takes Bucky’s hand. “It was just a fuck up, that’s all. We should have told them something, that’s on us. They’ve realised that this is perhaps not meant for them, that’s on them now, they’ll leave soon. They didn’t mean it, just like we didn’t. It’s just… a misunderstanding.” Bucky snorts at that. 

“The misunderstanding of the year though,” Bucky mutters but he seems to feel a little bit better about the situation. A little bit brighter. Steve smiles at him and leans in to press a kiss on his cheek. “Sam looks like I feel right now,” Bucky then mutters and laughs a little, scratching his cheek. Steve looks over at Doris and Sam, smiling a little at the sight of Sam, clearly uncomfortable at the affections that Doris is intent on giving him. “You know what? I think they’d be good together, actually. I believe he’d be good for her.” 

“You saying you want Sam to be with your sister?” Steve teases him a little, giving Bucky a poke in his side. Bucky squeaks and jumps away before rubbing his side, smirking a little to himself. Whatever deep, dark pit that Bucky had landed himself in, he’s now pulling himself out of, bit by bit. As if all he needed to hear was that his family would leave soon. Steve glances back at Bucky’s parents and figures they’re reaching an agreement to leave. 

“Well, with Sam, I at least know what sort of man she’s getting. And I’ve been in the dude’s apartment. I know where to go should I want to kick his ass for doing something stupid,” Bucky says and seems to relax fully now. They both watch them in silence for a short moment. “You know, it is kind of sweet. They came here for you. They love you, you know?” Bucky closes in on him again, bumping their shoulders together with a small, almost mysterious little smile on his face. 

“I know,” Steve says, feeling a warm, solid feeling in his chest as he makes himself remember that. The Barnes family love him and not just because he’s going to marry their son. They love him for who he is. It gives him a sense of belonging that he’s missed for so, so long. And Steve feels like he’s finally landed in his life. It’s looking exactly how he wants it to look. 

 

\--

 

“It’s not that big,” Bucky says as he’s sitting on the bed with his legs crossed legs. He’s holding one of the toys that Steve ordered. Around Bucky, there’s the small little box that it came in and the plastic that had been wrapped around it is tossed on the bed. The plug isn’t that big. It’s smaller than Bucky’s index finger but at the widest part, it matches the same girth of it. It’s black and made of silicon, giving it a soft feel. 

“It’s not but this is your first time, don’t forget that,” Steve reminds him and grabs the bit of plastic and tosses off the bed. He does the same with the little box. They can clean that up later. He hugs his legs a little and watches how Bucky looks at him. 

“You’re saying this’ll be difficult?” he asks Steve and doesn’t sound impressed. Steve smiles at him and rests his chin on his knee and opens up his palm to Bucky. He puts the small plug in Steve’s hand. 

“No, it won’t be. This’ll be easy with the lube and spray I got you,” Steve tells him, noticing Bucky’s confused look. “Just a spray to help you relax a little. Numbs you, just a little bit,” he explains. Bucky lets out a small  _ ah. _ “But I think you’d be surprised because you are going to feel it. It won’t hurt but you’ll feel it,” Steve assures him and hands the plug back to Bucky. 

“Why don’t we use that spray on you?” Bucky asks without looking at Steve. Instead, he’s squeezing the plug almost as if he’s expecting it to give in to the bit of pressure he puts on it. The plug, not surprisingly, doesn’t. Steve shrugs his answer and pulls the box over to him, tossing out some more unnecessary bubble wrap that he intends to keep. 

“I don’t need it,” Steve answers him honestly with a small smile. “You fuck me three times a week at least. On top of that, I’ve got work. I’m so used to it by now, have been since I was about twenty, that I don’t need it. You on the other hand...” Steve trails of and leans in to kiss Bucky on his cheek again. He doesn’t continue his sentence, Bucky gets where he’s going at and doesn’t continue his questioning. 

Bucky puts the small plug down on the bed and giggles at it before giving it a poke so it falls over. “It’s kind of adorable and pathetically small, isn’t it?” Bucky asks, incredibly amused with it. Steve doesn’t respond to that but watches Bucky take enjoyment out of it. He’s not nervous, not yet as far as Steve can tell and that’s good. The less he worries the better. Bucky looks in the box again and takes out another small package before opening it. 

It’s another plug, same color and made out of the same material as the smaller one. But this one is bigger. Just above five inches so it fits neatly in Bucky’s palm. It’s only a little bit more than an inch at the widest point before slimming down again so the plug stays in. As Bucky is looking at the plug, Steve watches his face attentively. The difference between the small plug and the medium one is, by sight, quite a lot. Now Steve can tell there’s a little bit of fear and nerves becoming clear in Bucky’s face. The idea of something that fits perfectly in his palm is supposed to go in him seems to intimidate.

Bucky doesn’t say anything and puts it down on the bed beside the little one but he doesn’t poke at that one in a fit of giggles. Steve keeps quiet himself and strokes his hand up and down Bucky’s back. There’s only three more things in the box; the numbing spray and two dildos, one small and one medium. Bucky takes out the box to the medium sized dildo and opens it. Once more, the same black silicone material. It’s just a little bit thinner than the medium plug at its widest point but it’ll be a different sensation considering it doesn’t slim down. It stays at the same girth from the rounded tip all the way to the suction cup at the base. There’s no details on it, just smooth from tip to base. 

Bucky puts it down and tackles the last box. He almost seems a little bit relieved at the difference. The small dildo is just the same as the rest of the toys Steve bought, all from the same company he knows is dependable. But the small dildo is both thinner and shorter and by far less terrifying to look at. Or at least Steve thinks so. Both dildos and the plug would leave him unsatisfied but baby steps. He wants it to be good for Bucky. 

“We don’t have to do everything in one go. We’re not doing everything in one go,” Steve assures Bucky as he grabs the empty boxes and packages and tosses them into the big delivery box. He takes out the numbing spray and then puts the trash down on the floor beside their bed. “I figured we’d take our time with these. I didn’t go overboard with toys, just enough to get us started. And if it’s something you feel that you want to continue with, we’ll buy the next batch together. And if you’d rather not do it at all anymore, then that’s fine too,” Steve says and tries to catch Bucky’s eyes. He’s still looking at the toys laying on the bed, they almost seem more forbidden like that. More naughty. It almost makes Steve feel like this is the first time they’re venturing into anything sexual. 

“I want to,” Bucky reaffirms with a nod and tears his eyes away from the toys. He smiles a little and takes the smallest plug back in his hand. The confidence and bravado that he carried while belittling it is now all gone. Steve imagines that now Bucky’s almost grateful for the smallest plug. “I do, I really do. I guess it just became a whole lot more real now, you know what I mean?” Bucky says and chuckles a little. He shakes his head. His hair falls in front of his eyes and he brushes it back behind his ear. 

“I know.” Steve squeezes Bucky’s shoulder. “Talk to me through it, okay? We can use stop lights. Remember those? Green, orange and red?” Bucky nods and looks at Steve. Steve’s suddenly struck by how young Bucky looks at that moment. He almost looks a little scared. Curious but terrified. “We’ll just use this today,” Steve says and takes away the two dildos from the bed, leaving just the plugs. Steve puts the dildos on the nightstand and returns his focus to Bucky. “I’ll stop any moment you want me to. Just say the word and all bets are off. If you’re in pain or uncomfortable, just say it and we’ll go right back to our regular scheduled programming.” Steve smiles a little, cups Bucky’s cheek and pulls him in for a kiss. 

He senses how Bucky relaxes a little into it. Smiling to himself and kissing Steve back. His shoulders drop, meaning he’s taking Steve’s words to heart. “Okay,” Bucky whispers after their kiss, barely pulling his lips away from Steve. Then he gives him a quick peck and another, and another, and another. Before Steve knows it, Bucky’s grinning again and and leaning over Steve so he has no choice but to lay down on his back. 

Steve giggles a little and slides his arm around Bucky’s neck and goes down willingly, allowing Bucky to settle in between his legs. Steve hooks one of them around Bucky’s waist and slides his other hand down Bucky’s side, over his back and then into his underwear. He squeezes Bucky’s ass and pulls their hips closer. With them each only wearing their boxer briefs in between them, it feels wonderful. Bucky makes a little noise of delight in their kiss and grinds his hips against Steve. 

“Before we get to into it,” Steve manages to murmur in between kisses, giving Bucky a longer one to make up for interrupting. “I’ve got to do one thing,” Steve whispers to him. Bucky hums to show him that he’s understood, places both of his hands on either side of Steve’s head and pushes himself up. He looks absolutely gorgeous like that, looking down at Steve with his brown hair all around him. The muscles in his chest clear and working, as well as the ones on his stomach even if the lines aren’t as strong and clear anymore, not like they used to be. 

“What’s that?” Bucky asks him, rolling his hips slowly and gently against Steve, keeping him right there to tease him. Steve smirks at him and tilts his head to the side to kiss Bucky’s arm, then pulls at him to get another kiss. He can feel how Bucky’s cock is getting thicker in his briefs, just like Steve’s own. Bucky gladly obliges and lowers himself, giving Steve a kiss before he does a push up and pulls away. The act of that alone is strangely erotic to Steve who suddenly wants him to do that again, and again, and again. 

“I need to test the spray on you,” Steve tells him. Bucky looks surprised at the statement. “Make sure you don’t get an allergic reaction or something. That’s something I’d rather not explain in the ER why you’d have an allergic reaction on your ass,” Steve admits with a giggle that he can’t help. Bucky joins him at that but then he nods a couple of times and crawls off Steve. 

“Makes sense.” Bucky offers his left arm with the bracelets around his wrist. There’s only a faint hint of the tattoo of Winnie the Pooh underneath them. Steve sits up and grabs the spray, tears of the plastic and its lid. He gives it one quick shake and sprays Bucky’s arm with it once then puts it down on the bed beside them. He kisses Bucky again who puts a strong hand on the back of Steve’s head to keep him in place, then pushes Steve back down again on the bed. 

Bucky grinds his hips against Steve again. Steve moans in their kiss, lifting his hips a little to meet him. They’ve only been kissing for a minute before Bucky breaks the kiss and curiously looks at his arm. Steve licks his lips and looks at it. The skin is still the same tone, no angry red rash or pink little dots. Bucky snickers and puts his arm back down again. “Works fast,” he tells Steve and kisses him again. “Kind of feels like I’ve gotten a mild sedative at the dentist.” 

Steve pulls back from their kiss. “Buck, when you go to the dentist and get a sedative, I could slap you and you wouldn’t know,” he says, suddenly concerned with the outcome. Bucky rolls his eyes and kisses him sweetly. 

“I said mild sweetheart, mild. I feel that something’s up but I’d notice if you slapped me,” Bucky assures him and kisses Steve’s jaw, then his throat. Steve makes a noise at that, deciding that he’ll take Bucky for his word. Steve puts a few fingers under Bucky’s chin to pull him back for another kiss. Then Steve rolls them both over on the bed, straddling Bucky’s hips and now grinning down to him. 

Bucky smirks at him, slides a hand down Steve’s chest and tank, then slides a hand under it to push it up. Steve decides to help him and pulls it off, throwing it away before shifting of Bucky’s hips and kisses his chest, down to his stomach which twitches at the touch. He hooks his fingers around the elastic band of Bucky’s briefs and looks up at him. Bucky gets the message and lifts his hips. Steve tugs down his briefs, then straightens up to get them off Bucky’s legs and Bucky helps in the process. 

Steve strokes his palm over Bucky’s semi erect cock and bites down on his lower lip. “You want to try the small one?” Steve asks him and looks at Bucky. He seems taken aback with the suggestion before he considers it for a moment. There’s a small, almost minuscule nod that gives his approval to Steve, then a light, courageous little smile of someone who’s still nervous. 

Steve smiles warmly to him. “Roll over,” he says and gives Bucky a pat on his flank, just underneath the star that he’s got tattooed on his side. Bucky does as he’s told and rolls over on the bed. The wolf head that’s in the middle of his back stares at Steve. It’s a wonderful piece of art. A grey realistic piece with the small signature of the artist hidden away in some creases of fur. 

“I’m going to use the spray now, okay?” Steve asks as he reaches for the spray. Bucky lets out a small  _ uhuh _ and a nod that Steve can barely make out. He shakes the spray again out of pure reflex, not because it’s needed. He squeezes Bucky’s ass with one hand, moving his hand a bit to the side to spread Bucky’s cheeks just a bit. He sprays thrice over Bucky’s ass, making sure that he hits his hole the most. Then Steve lets go of Bucky and leans in over him. He kisses his neck and just barely reaches the nightstand to put the spray down. 

“Let me know when you feel it, okay?” Steve whispers to him, stroking his hand over one of Bucky’s muscular arms and nips a bit at his shoulder. Considering how fast Bucky felt it on his arm, he doesn’t think that it’ll take much longer for him to feel it on his ass. Bucky nods again to show that he’s understood. Steve kisses the spot that he just nipped at and strokes his hand up and down Bucky’s arm, his muscular back, even if there’s a little bit extra to hold onto by Bucky’s hips that not as solid as the rest. Steve frowns a little at that but doesn’t think much of it. 

“Okay yeah, I feel it. It’s working,” Bucky says, followed by a little nervous giggle again. Steve smiles and presses a little kiss on Bucky’s shoulder blade, wondering a little how it feels. If it even feels remotely the same as it did when he was a teenager. 

“I’m going to start out with the little one, okay?” Steve tells him, wanting Bucky to know what he plans on doing. Bucky nods a little and Steve pulls away from him. He leans over to their nightstand and takes out the lube from the drawer then searches the bed for the plugs. Steve grabs the small one when he finds it amongst the creases of the sheets and flips open the cap of the little tube. At that particular moment, Steve feels torn, wanting to use more lube than what’s necessary for the sake of Bucky but at the same time, with a plug this small, it’ll quickly become too much. 

So instead, he gets a little lube on his fingers, stroking them in between Bucky’s cheeks. He can feel how Bucky flinches a little at the touch. “It’s just me,” Steve tells him with a little smile. He doesn’t push his finger in, he just lubes Bucky up a little before pulling away. He puts the little left on the plug, adds a little bit more to it and lubes it up. 

Bucky lays perfectly still in anticipation. Not moving, not saying anything. Steve shifts a little closer to Bucky and places a hand on his ass, squeezing it. “You ready?” Steve asks. Bucky hums his response. It isn’t until that moment that Steve himself feels nervous about it. But he presses the dull tip of the small plug against Bucky, gives him a second or two to get used to the pressure, before carefully and gently pushing it into him. 

Steve doesn’t expect Bucky to moan or to shudder from it. Truth is, he doesn’t really know what he’s expecting. Bucky stays still on the bed, making no noise, but he grips the sheets harder as Steve slowly and carefully pushes the plug inside of him. He reaches the broadest point and for an instant, it becomes difficult to get it any deeper into Bucky. Then something gives way and the rest slides in with ease as it slims down again. 

It’s a naughty little sight, Bucky laying on his stomach like that in front of him. The black foot of the plug in his ass, a naughty little hint that they’re up to something. It’s a thought that sends something warm through his stomach and Steve’s a little surprised when he notices that he’s hard in his briefs. He has been so focused on Bucky and what he’s doing, that he hadn’t even noticed how he got fully hard in the process. 

Steve leans in and kisses Bucky at the base of his spine. “How’s that feel? Talk to me sweetheart,” he asks, suddenly worried that he’s already pushed it further than Bucky wanted. Worried that he’s hurt him. He kisses his way up Bucky’s spine, then lays himself down against Bucky’s side so he can watch him. 

“You’re right,” Bucky says, blinking towards him. He looks… well, like he’s still trying to figure something out. Like he’s still trying to figure out what it’s like to have something inside of him. “It didn’t hurt, well, nearly didn’t hurt,” Bucky catches the worried look of Steve and rolls his eyes at him. “It just burned a little. Not much,” 

“ _ Buck _ ,” Steve whines at him, as if that’ll change anything. As if that’ll take it all back. He just wants Bucky to feel good, not to have to worry about pain and now he learns that it did hurt a little after all. He feels immensely guilty at that. 

“Don’t,” Bucky says and grabs Steve’s hand, squeezing it to halt his current track of thought. “It’s okay, it wasn’t bad, I could take it. But you’re right. I do feel it.” Bucky scrunches up his nose a little and smirks at Steve. Steve, feeling better again, leans in to kiss him. Bucky responds by putting a hand on the back of Steve’s head and kissing him back, making it a little deeper than it was before. 

“Roll over,” Steve whispers to him and pushes against Bucky a little to get him over onto his back. Bucky goes willingly and lets Steve straddle him. He kisses him still and Bucky sneaks a hand down in between them and wraps his fingers around Steve’s cock. He gives it a stroke and Steve lets out a little moan. He lets Bucky do this two or three times, Steve isn’t really counting before he kisses Bucky’s neck again and then starts to kiss his way down his chest. 

Bucky watches him with interested eyes, shifting his legs a little to make more space for Steve. Steve glances up at him, smirking mostly to himself as he kisses his way down Bucky’s chest and abdomen. He presses a kiss to the side of Bucky’s cock, still semi erect. Bucky bites down on his lower lip, making it a deep red color from the bit of pressure. Steve winks at Bucky, then he drags his tongue up Bucky’s cock. 

Bucky shudders a little at that, watching every move that Steve makes attentively. Steve does it again and this time, Bucky lets out a soft little moan when the tip of Steve’s tongue brushes over the black piece of jewelry on the underside of the head. Steve does it again, just to tease him. 

“D’you think I should get my dick pierced?” Steve asks Bucky offhandedly while wrapping his fingers around Bucky’s cock. Stroking him slowly as he catches Bucky’s gaze. He looks a little surprised. Steve smirks in response, stroking another hand back up Bucky’s abdomen, over his chest and the pierced nipple which he takes in between his thumb and index finger. He twists it a little, gently at first. 

Bucky gasps and arches his back off the bed a little, towards Steve and grabs the hand that’s on his nipple. “Do you want one?” Bucky asks him, nice and neutral. “You’d have to live with me giving you head through a condom for four weeks. At least,” Bucky points out, still grinning at Steve. Steve just rolls his eyes at the little jab. 

“You managed,” Steve retorts, licking his lips before he drags his tongue over the head, then slowly puts his lips around him and takes Bucky’s cock in his mouth. Bucky groans, allowing his eyes to flutter shut and killing any response that Bucky thought of giving. Steve’s half tempted to press a finger against the foot of the plug, move it in him just a little bit to give him something. But he doesn’t, he’s unsure of how much Bucky’s even feeling at this point and he doesn’t want to push his luck. 

“I was single when I got mine,” Bucky breathes out his answer, grinning to himself. He rolls gently with his hips and Steve makes his jaw slack and allows Bucky to thrust into his mouth as long as he keeps it at the slow and gentle movement that he does now. “There was no one to suck me off.” 

Steve pulls back a little, pushing Bucky’s hips down to the bed. He licks his lips and looks at Bucky. “What about a nipple piercing? Can you see me with one of those?” he asks before taking Bucky back in his mouth again, now sucking at the head and once more strangling any response. Bucky moans again and grips Steve’s hair. The moan turns into a sharp gasp when Steve twists the nipple piercing again just to make a point. 

“I could,” Bucky admits to him followed by another moan. The answer surprises Steve a little, honestly. But it gives him something new to consider. Maybe he could get one, just to surprise Bucky. It’s hot on him and Steve finds it incredibly attractive. Maybe he could pull it off just as well. Steve starts bobbing his head up and down now, wanting to have as much as he possibly can of Bucky in his mouth. He’s always wanted to suck all of Bucky’s dick, to take him down to the back of his throat. Steve has improved since the day they met but never quite managed to take all of him. 

Bucky’s grip on Steve’s hair eaes and he just strokes his fingers through it as Steve bobs his head up and down over him. Moaning softly, just enjoying the treatment that Steve’s giving him. Steve shifts a little and tries to relax as he begins to take more of Bucky down his throat. His own cock is dripping with pre-cum now. Steve can’t remember the last time he was this turned on. He moans around Bucky, then pulls back just to catch a breath. 

“God, look at you,” Bucky comments and brushes a finger over Steve’s swollen lips. He’s grinning widely at him. “You’re really into it today, aren’t you?” he asks. Steve answers him by taking Bucky back in his mouth. Bucky lets him and closes his eyes with a moan. Steve sucks at the head, feeling how the muscles in Bucky’s thigh tense up when he does. He bobs his head up and down again, trying to take more of Bucky down his throat. He works him like that for two minutes at least, Steve’s not entirely certain of the time and Bucky lets him. Sensing that Steve’s up to something. His jaw is starting to feel a little bit strained. 

But he’s nearly there. Steve pulls back one last time to suck at the head, then pulls off to take a breath. Bucky’s watching him with deep, dark eyes. His hand lays heavy on the back of Steve’s head but never once has he made a movement to push him down any further. Steve licks his lips and grins Bucky’s cock is shiny with saliva now, almost wet enough, Steve believes, for Bucky to just slide right into him. 

He takes Bucky in his mouth again and makes an attempt. Steve makes it down most of  Bucky’s cock relatively easy. There’s an inch left and Steve pushes himself for the last final bit. 

“Fuck, doll,” Bucky groans as Steve succeeds. Steve nustles his nose against the curled hairs. The scent of Bucky is overwhelming, the feeling of Bucky’s thick cock down his throat is one of the best feelings Steve’s had in awhile. Bucky’s expression is that of pure bliss and all Steve wants to do is see that look for the rest of his life. 

Steve pulls back, dragging his lips over Bucky’s cock as he does and then grins at him. His jaw still has that burning sensation in it and his throat hurts just a little bit but he feels damn proud of himself. Bucky can tell. “You did it,” Bucky grins at him, stroking a finger over Steve’s swollen lips. Then he grabs Steve by the neck and pulls him in for a deep, hot and eager kiss. Steve moans in it, grinding their cocks against one another. It makes Bucky moan in their kiss as well. 

“Will you fuck me now?” Steve asks him, still steadily rocking their hips against one another, cocks brushing by one another. Bucky grins at him and kisses him again, sliding his tongue in Steve’s mouth and neglects to give him an answer at that particular moment. Steve doesn’t care. He loves it when Bucky gets like this; bossy and decisive, not always giving him what he wants just because he asked for it. 

“I’ll fuck you,” Bucky promises. “If you take out the plug and put in the other one,” he says. Steve swallows at the idea. His throat suddenly feels thick again but he nods rapidly to Bucky who laughs happily at his excitement. He lets go of Steve who starts searching for the other plug while Bucky rolls onto his stomach. 

Steve grabs the lube and lubes up the plug, being more generous now than he was before. “Ready?” Steve asks and squeezes Bucky’s ass once to signal that he, at least, is ready. Bucky nods but doesn’t say anything else. Slowly, Steve takes hold of the plug in Bucky by its foot and starts to pull it out. There’s a little resistance at first until the widest part comes out, then the rest slides out of Bucky without any struggle. What surprises Steve the most, however, is how Bucky lets out a small moan. 

“You like that?” Steve asks him with a grin, putting the small plug away and presses the tip of the other lubed up plug against him. He strokes his hand up Bucky’s spine, gently pushing the plug in. Bucky makes another strangled noise. 

“Was nice,” Bucky mutters. Half of the plug goes in without any problem but then Steve feels a little bit of a resistance so he pauses instead and looks down. At that moment, there’s nothing in the world Steve wants more than to just take out the plug and slide in himself. He’s looking forward to that and he’s so turned on, it’s almost painful. He pushes a bit more, getting the plug a little bit deeper in. “Easy. Easy,” 

“Does it hurt?” Steve asks, rubbing his hand up and down Bucky’s back. Remembering how he told him that it had burned a little. Maybe it’s burning again. Bucky doesn’t respond, either because he’s focused on what he’s feeling or because he’s denying Steve an answer with the knowledge that he’ll feel guilty. Which… Bucky would be correct of. 

“Bit more,” Bucky then encourages him. Steve does as he’s asked and pushes the plug a little bit more into Bucky. He nearly reaches the widest part when Bucky signals again to take it easy. Steve pauses, massaging the muscles in Bucky’s back and feeling how he’s tensing up. Either from anticipation or from nerves, Steve suspects it’s a little bit of both. 

“You’re nearly there, sweetheart. You’re doing so good,” Steve tells him. Feeling immensely proud of Bucky and wanting him to know it. Wanting Bucky to know just how much he’s managed to take until now. How fucking beautiful he looks like that on the bed. “God, I wish you could see this.” 

“Okay, go. Go, Steve, just-” Bucky doesn’t finish his sentence. Steve doesn’t wait to find out what he was about to say either. With a last final push, the rest of the plug slides into Bucky. There’s a little bit of resistance and when the widest part finally moves into Bucky, Bucky lets out a surprised little gasp at the sensation. Steve grins widely at that, squeezing Bucky’s ass one last time before he moves back to Bucky’s side and kisses him. 

Bucky smirks in the kiss. Whatever he’s thinking, he doesn’t voice out loud. He shifts on the bed and then pushes Steve down on his own stomach. Steve goes willingly, even perking up his ass a bit for Bucky as he does. “Feels… odd,” Bucky comments, finds the lube on the bed and moves behind Steve, in between his legs that he’s so helpfully spread for him. 

“Do you like it?” Steve asks, hearing the sound of Bucky opening the cap. He feels the lube between his cheeks and then Bucky’s fingers dragging through it and spreading it on him. 

“It’s a bit weird. In a good way.” Bucky pushes in not one but two fingers instantly and Steve moan is muffled by the sheets. Bucky doesn’t waste any time, he twists his fingers and pulls them nearly back out and thrusts them back in. “You really are into it today,” Bucky says just as he does that wonderful twist with his fingers again. Steve moans again, moving his hips back against Bucky’s touch. 

“What do you want?” Steve asks, stifling another moan against the sheets. “I got to give you some special treatment today,” he mutters, feeling how every nerve of his body is on fire just from getting that little bit of attention. Bucky gives him a third finger which slides in with ease. Steve shivers a bit. 

“Don’t think we needed to prep you, if you’re like this,” Bucky says and smacks Steve’s ass once. Steve jumps a little out of surprise but finds that he rather enjoys the sting it leaves behind. “Bet that if I just wanted to fuck you, you’d have taken me without any preparation.” 

“Might want to have used some lube,” Steve manages to joke before he moans again. Grabbing hold of the bed sheets so hard that his knuckles turn white. He grinds his hips into the bed and Bucky disapproves of that. He pulls his fingers out which leaves Steve feeling unbearably empty. He whines his protest and looks over his shoulder to watch Bucky lubing himself up. 

When Bucky considers himself finished, he grabs Steve by his hips and lifts him up. Steve goes willingly and then feels how a strong hand strokes up his spine and pushes Steve back down between his shoulder blades. Chest and head back against the bed and ass still up in the air, Bucky moves in and lines himself up for Steve. Steve whimpers when he feels the tip of Bucky’s cock press against him. The whimper only turns into a long, drawn out moan when Bucky pushes into him. The stretch is the most wonderful feeling, sending a tingle down Steve’s legs and makes his arms break out in goosebumps. 

Bucky moves fully into him, shifts a little himself and starts with an easy, light thrust. When he finds no objection from Steve or discomfort from their angle, he quickens his pace, thrusting harder. 

The sound that Steve makes is a pathetic little whine, his knuckles turn white once more as he grabs onto the bed sheets and lets Bucky thrust into him. Loving the way that Bucky pulls back Steve’s hips to meet his thrusts, ensuring that he fully gets to push into him. Bucky groans deep from his chest. 

The thrusts inside of him make Steve feel warm and wonderful. Every little touch that Bucky gives him sets his nerves on fire, after every single thrust Steve’s already whimpering and wanting a new one. Wanting Bucky to keep going, keep going forever. He feels that his orgasm is imminent and perhaps a little too soon. But at the moment, Steve can’t bring himself to care. All he cares about is that soft way that Bucky keeps thrusting in him and moaning in unison with him. Feeling how his cock is so hard and so sensitive to the touch that Steve’s positive one single stroke would make him cum hard enough to see stars. Take him right out to space. 

“Fuck, Steve.” Bucky pushes fully into him and then halts, making Steve whine in disapproval. “Steve, I’m sorry but it’s gotta go. It hurts,” Bucky pants and pulls out of Steve who looks at him confused before he remembers again. The plug. Steve wants to whine again but he doesn’t want Bucky to be uncomfortable. 

“Okay, yeah okay.” Steve shifts on the bed, feeling a little feverish and gets behind Bucky who gets into a similar position that Steve was in moments before. Bucky hisses at first when Steve begins to take out the plug but then when he’s past the widest point again and the plug easily slides out, Bucky moans again. He puts the plug down, not really caring where. 

Bucky is back to him in a flash, somehow having gotten up again and pulled in Steve for a kiss. Steve moans in it for the second that it lasts, before Bucky manhandles him right back down on the bed. Steve gets pushed onto his back, gets his hips lifted up a little, and Bucky puts a leg over his shoulder. He lines himself up and pushes right back into him. Steve closes his eyes and tilts his head back as he moans. The feeling is just as incredible as before, only now his orgasm isn’t knocking on the door anymore. Bucky unintentionally edged him, something Steve now isn’t of mind to complain about. 

“Look at you, doll. You’re loving it, aren’t you?” Bucky asks as he starts thrusting just as fast and just as hard as before. With Steve’s leg now over Bucky’s chest and shoulder, the angle is different, much deeper and much better. So all Steve can do in response is moan out and grab hold of the bed above his head. 

Then, Bucky does something. Steve’s not entirely sure what. Maybe it’s the angle they’re at, maybe it’s because of the edging, maybe it’s just because he’s so turned on. But Bucky brushes by  _ something _ inside of him that makes Steve moan loudly as it sends out sparks of fireworks through his body. The loud moan even surprises himself, having no control over it, Steve slams his hand over his mouth and looks at Bucky who also has a surprised look on his face. Then, whatever Bucky did, he does again and Steve shudders, moaning again as the sparks work through every single muscle, every single nerve in his body. 

Steve tenses up and pulls Bucky in by his waist with his leg, pushing him past that little spot again. Steve lets out a cry that’s interlaced with the very same loud moan as before and suddenly that pleasure, white and blinding, is all Steve can even think of. His skin feels like it’s energized with electricity and every single light touch that Bucky gives him feels like a wave of pleasure washing over his body, staying there and merging with the pleasure that’s already there. Building and growing. The spot is brushed by again and Steve can feel the tears in his eyes, feels how one leaks from him and how it burns down the side of his face. 

When Bucky’s thumb brushes by his nipple, it feels like he’s being struck by lightning. Bucky thrusts again and that wonderful wave of pleasure comes over him again. Making Steve hardly aware of where he is or how much noise he’s making or what’s even happening to him. All he knows is that he’s never once in his life felt this good before. Steve cums, hard, without even fully realizing what’s happening. Steve doesn’t even notice that he cums dry. All he feels is a raw, explosive pleasure embracing him, suffocating him. Making all of his body hyper aware of what he’s touching and what he isn’t. And Bucky’s cock… Bucky’s cock feels fucking amazing as it keeps thrusting in him and leaving Steve wanting more. 

Somehow, he’s not sore. He’s not in pain and he doesn’t need Bucky to stop. He doesn’t want Bucky to stop, he needs him to continue. “Keep going,” Steve pants and gips the sheets again, wanting Bucky to know that he should keep going. He doesn’t catch the look that Bucky gives him and frankly, Steve doesn’t care. Bucky keeps going and the same wave of pleasure from before starts to build up again. Making Steve just moan out short  _ ah’s _ over and over again without properly being able to breathe and he feels every single creak in the sheets that he grips. Then Steve cums again, harder and longer than before. 

It feels just as amazing as the first time. He cums dry again and Bucky’s hand feels like a glowing touch to his side that makes him gasp for breath. The room is too warm, he’s too warm. His loud moan comes out mixed with laughter, pure joy at what he’s feeling. Somewhere, far far away from him, he hears Bucky. “Again?” 

Steve’s forgotten how to speak and he just nods. Bucky keeps going. This time, all that Steve really needs to cum for the third time is the sensation of Bucky’s palm stroke down over his cock, how he presses it again his balls. This time Steve cums over his chest, shivering and tensing up, pulling Bucky in so close with his leg that he feels a cramp in his thigh and even _ that _ feels good. When he finishes, he feels warm and delighted, like he’s resting in a summer sun. Occasionally his muscles twitch when another, smaller wave of pleasure hits him. 

Bucky thrusts into him a handful more times before he cums, Steve can tell by the groan and shivers again. Purely from the sensation of having him so deep inside of him. From the pleasure that Bucky put him through. Now he feels all happy and relaxed. When Bucky moves Steve’s leg off his shoulder, it practically drops down on the bed. 

“What was that?” Steve asks softly without even bothering to open his eyes. He feels too… heavenly to move right now. Everything still feels amazing in the afterglow and he feels content and sated in a way he’s never felt before. He hears Bucky laugh somewhere far away which is odd considering he still feels his touch to the side and then Bucky is suddenly right there, kissing his forehead. Steve makes a pleased little noise at that, turning his head towards Bucky. 

“That, doll,” Bucky begins and rolls onto the bed beside him. Steve opens his eyes to blink lazily. At the moment, he wants nothing more than to roll over onto his side and put an arm around Bucky. But the idea of that alone seems exhausting. So he doesn’t. Instead he just shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. “I think that was a prostate orgasm. Lucky you,” Bucky says. Steve looks up at the ceiling and blinks. Then he breaks out into a fit of giggles, clapping his hand in front of his mouth. When he gets started, he suddenly finds that he’s unable to stop. High on endorphins or whatever that hormone is that the brain releases post orgasm. Bucky looks at him, an amused expression on his face as Steve works his way through the fit of giggles. 

“Can you stand up? We’ll need to change the sheets. And get cleaned up,” Bucky points out, nodding to the mess on Steve’s stomach. Steve glances down and groans, not really feeling an interest in moving about now. As he moves to sit up however, Steve feels an odd, tingling sensation in his legs, mostly in his knees. Bucky gets off the bed with ease, leaving Steve sitting on it for a moment before deciding that no, he can’t stand up. 

“Buck?” he asks and watches how Bucky kneels down in front of their dresser and opens the bottom drawer, pulling out a new cover for the duvet. Bucky hums his response. “I think I uhm, I can’t stand up,” Steve admits, Bucky looks at him a little surprised. “Not yet anyway, I feel all wobbly legged,” Steve tells him and breaks out in the same fit of giggles. 

Bucky smiles at him all fondly and comes back over. He gives Steve a soft kiss, and then hands him a packet of wet wipes before pushing Steve back to lay on the bed again. Steve goes willingly and doesn’t really move. He watches as Bucky pulls up the sheet from the bed, rolling it all neatly together until he reaches Steve and grins at him. “Roll, bitch.” 

Steve laughs but does as he’s told and rolls off the sheets to make sure he doesn’t mess them up and opens the packet of wet wipes. As Bucky begins to change the cover, Steve wipes himself clean properly, only half heartedly tossing the wipes to the trash before before coming to rest on the bed. Eventually, Bucky puts the new fresh sheets over to cover Steve and disappears. Steve lets him and nuzzles under the sheets, listening to Bucky spending some time in the bathroom, banging about before the washing machine starts. 

Bucky is back with him in bed before he knows it, an arm around Steve and curling close around him. Steve hums in delight and takes Bucky’s hand, pulling his arm a little bit closer around his waist. He wants to cuddle, he wants to feel him close. “Buck?” Steve whispers in the darkness of the room. Behind him, he hears Bucky’s sleepy hum to indicate that he’s listening. “I love you.” 

Bucky presses a soft kiss to the base of his neck. “I love you too,” he whispers. 


	4. Chapter 4

“It’s not too uncomfortable?” Steve asks for what must be the third time that evening in the span of five minutes. Bucky just gives him a deadpan look that makes Steve swallow any other questions he was planning on asking. Personally,  _ he _ thinks that a cockring looks uncomfortable and he’s not exactly willing to try one. Despite what they might do to help you with your orgasm. It had been Bucky’s idea so Steve hadn’t really had much to say against it. He had just let Bucky get one. 

“It looks rather ridiculous, doesn’t it?” Bucky asks and gestures over it. Steve nods a little. Ridiculous would be a kind word to use, he supposes. The cockring is black and is wrapped tight but not  _ too _ tight around his cock and balls. But Bucky doesn’t seem to mind it that much which Steve supposes is the most important thing right now. “It’s going to be great,” Bucky says and places a hand on Steve’s cheek to pull him in for a kiss. 

Steve smiles at the optimism of Bucky, instantly feeling a little bit better about it. “You ready to start the stream?” Steve asks him and strokes a hand up Bucky’s naked thigh. They’re running a little bit late which Steve usually doesn’t make a habit of when he’s streaming alone. But with Bucky, he’s a bit more lax. Besides, they couldn’t really figure out how the cockring was supposed to go on at first and now they feel like idiots for having been confused at something so simple. 

“You can start it,” Bucky hums, though he doesn’t let go of the hand he’s placed on the back of Steve’s head. He keeps him there for two, three more kisses before he finally lets go of him and scoots further up the bed. Steve smirks at him and crawls onto the bed, settles himself in front of the camera. He spends a couple of seconds checking that the cameras are positioned right and that they both would come in view properly. He fiddles with the settings and when Steve finds himself pleased enough with it, he starts their stream. It loads for a moment and then a room opens up for them. 

“Oh, by the way.” Bucky scoots behind Steve, wrapping an arm around his waist and kisses Steve’s naked shoulder. “I spoke to mom earlier, she wants to come to the venue tomorrow and help us with the seating, I said fine,” Bucky says but he doesn’t sound the least bit enthusiastic about it. He had been wanting to keep how the venue looked like somewhat of a secret from his family. Mostly because he hadn’t wanted Winnie to get involved as much as he  _ knew _ she would. 

“Maybe it’ll make her at ease,” Steve tells him and takes Bucky’s hand in his own, knowing that there’s not much he can do at the moment. He’ll just try to keep Winnie occupied tomorrow when they’re at the venue figuring out how the tables are supposed to go with other small tasks that she can look over, leaving them to figure out the bulk of the work together. “Have you decided on where you want to go for the honeymoon?” Steve asks him with a grin and turns to look at him again, hoping that it’ll bring Bucky on a happier train of thought. 

Bucky smirks, telling Steve that way that he  _ has _ given it some thought and has a couple of suggestions. He doesn’t reveal them though, he just kisses Steve and keeps that conversation for later. Which might be for the best. Now there’s some viewers trickling in and they’ll gain more revenue if they keep kissing. Less people to just hover over their chat room while deciding who to watch that evening. 

“I’ll tell you about them later. I’ll give you a hint, it’s some place warm,” Bucky whispers to Steve before kissing his throat. Steve tilts his head back, giving more skin for Bucky to kiss. Bucky, of course, takes this opportunity and starts sucking at the skin. Steve giggles a little and tries to push Bucky away. He loves him, he does, but he’s not going to allow Bucky to leave him a hickey on a spot that his mother will be able to see the following morning. She doesn’t need to be that involved in their lives. 

Steve giggles a little bit and manages to pull Bucky up to kiss him again. Bucky goes willingly and Steve turns a little so it will be easier for them both. There’s a sound of token drops but Steve doesn’t look. It’s too early on to be a big number and frankly, whenever he’s with Bucky, he usually doesn’t care that much about it. 

“Can I blow you?” Bucky mutters in between a kiss, stroking one of his hands down Steve’s side. He moves his hand over his hip, stopping on the middle of Steve’s abdomen instead of stroking down. Steve bites down on his lip and nods, of course Bucky can blow him. “You know what we also should do?” Bucky adds, stroking his palm down over Steve’s cock while kissing him. Steve lets out a soft little moan. 

“What’s that?” Steve asks, finding it a little bit difficult to focus on anything but the sensation of Bucky’s hand stroking him like that. He leans back a little and Bucky does what he always does and goes for his neck again. Pressing soft little kisses, nipping at the skin. The message of not leaving a hickey has come across to Bucky. Or maybe he’s just biding his time which wouldn’t be entirely unlike him. 

“When I fuck you,” Bucky begins. Steve swallows at the thought, making a whining little noise when he feels Bucky’s hand wrap around his semi hard cock. Bucky speaks loud enough so the people watching them will hear, getting them involved, keeping them around waiting in anticipation for whatever he’s about to promise him. “I should wear the plug again,” 

Steve looks at Bucky and licks his lips, seeing that he’s dead serious. Steve surges to kiss him for that, showing his enthusiasm for the idea that way. The plugs have become almost an essential item whenever they had sex now, Bucky wore the medium sized one well enough and hardly got uncomfortable by it. He had even voiced the idea that soon it might be a good idea to go buy some new ones, some slightly bigger as he’d gotten used to the ones they had. A nice in between one before he graduates to the ones Steve used to wear. 

Bucky had admitted that he found it quite arousing to wear one, that he started to love the feeling of something inside of him. And that when he was home alone for the handful of times, it wouldn’t be unlike him to wear one while he masturbates.

“Yeah,” Steve agrees and pulls in Bucky for a kiss. Bucky gets so lovely and impatient when he wears the plug and fucks Steve, like nothing is quite enough, like he is almost imagining the sensation of it himself whenever he squeezes around it. “Yes, you should,” Steve tells Bucky and moans again when Bucky squeezes just a little bit tighter around his cock before shifting on the bed. 

Steve plants his palms down on the bed and licks his lips again, watching how Bucky settles in between his legs. The small stud of metal glints in between Bucky’s lips, a reminder of the piercing that makes Bucky’s blowjobs so amazing. But he doesn’t give it to Steve just yet, he blows a warm streak of air over Steve which makes him shiver a bit. Then, with just the tip of his tongue, Bucky licks from root to tip. Someone drops tokens for that and Steve fights back a whimper. 

Steve watches Bucky attentively with dark eyes. Bucky grins up at him, satisfied about the position that he’s worked Steve in. He repeats himself, slowly dragging his tongue over Steve’s cock and over the head. Tasting the little bit if pre-cum that’s started to gather there. Steve knows how much Bucky loves to taste him. Bucky keeps telling him that the way he tastes is Bucky’s favorite flavor but Steve can’t quite believe it. Still, he finds the statement romantic. 

Bucky keeps his fingers wrapped around the root of Steve’s cock and then slides his lips around the head. Steve moans a little, watching how Bucky takes him down his throat with such expertise. He grabs at Bucky’s hair before realising what he’s doing and just pets at it instead. Bucky casts his eyes eyes up at Steve. At that moment, Steve feels utterly convinced that Bucky would have grinned if he didn’t have a cock in his mouth. 

Bucky casts his eyes back down and sucks at the head of Steve’s cock, making him moan. Bucky only does it for a couple of seconds however, stopping soon after and starts to bob his head up and down. Steve whines a little when he does, wanting to feel more of Bucky’s hot mouth around him. Bucky moans around him, making his throat vibrate a little bit as he takes more of Steve down. 

Steve whines again at that, loving the way the metal stud from Bucky’s tongue piercing feels as it slides up and down on the underside of his cock. Making him whimper. Bucky never really needs long to get him worked up and today is no exception. So when Bucky pulls back to kiss him, Steve kisses him back but makes a needy little noise in the back of his throat to tell Bucky that he doesn’t like that he stopped at all. 

Bucky, however, laughs at the little noise and pulls Steve in for a kiss, a short and sweet one. Then he leans back, pulling Steve along with him. Steve shifts with him, crawling over Bucky and grinding their hips together. Bucky grew hard as he was sucking Steve off and the feeling of their cocks rocking against one another feels heavenly. Bucky groans somewhere deep down in their kiss and keeps his hand firmly on the back of Steve’s head. When their kiss enda, he looks at him, forehead resting against Steve’s. “Want to put the plug in me? And then I can fuck you?” Bucky asks him, nipping at Steve’s lower lip 

Steve just stares at him and Bucky laughs at the sight before letting go of Steve. What happens next is almost a comical scramble, Bucky rolling over onto his stomach while Steve grabs the spray from the desk. He winks to the camera and shakes the spray twice. Bucky helpfully spreads his asscheeks, Steve sprays him twice with the numbing spray before tossing it away, then moves in to drag his tongue up over Bucky’s spine, fighting hard to grind his hips against Bucky’s ass. 

“Steve, put the fucking plug in, I swear to god,” Bucky warns him. Steve breaks out in a little fit of giggles at that and pulls back. He grabs the plug and the lube from the desk. Within seconds, he’s got the plug nice and smooth for Bucky. He presses the tip of it against him and holds still. It doesn’t take long for Bucky to complain. “For fucks sake, Steve, now!” Bucky barks at him. Steve laughs and pushes the plug inside of Bucky. 

It goes smoothly, much more smooth than it did weeks ago when they only just started. Now the plug slides in Bucky easily with little to no resistance and the most wonderful part of it is how Bucky moans and shivers when he gets it. Bucky wants it, he  _ needs _ it. Steve squeezes Bucky’s ass when the plug is in him fully, feeling how the muscles in it tense as Bucky tries to feel as much as possible from the plug. 

Then Bucky rolls over and he’s back kissing Steve, pulling him in and onto his lap. Steve groans into their kiss, grinding his ass down on Bucky’s cock. Bucky groans into the kiss, attempting to move his hips up against him. “How do you want me?” he asks Steve breathlessly, looking up at him with stars in his eyes and at that moment, Steve’s never felt as loved. 

“You’re letting me choose?” Steve asks with a grin, grinding down against Bucky again. Bucky moans again, resting his forehead against Steve’s shoulder for a moment and pulling him in by the small of his back. Steve licks his lips, lightly trailing his fingers up Bucky’s back. He pretends to think how he wants him but the truth is Steve really doesn’t care how he gets Bucky. Behind him, he hears how Bucky reaches for the lube. He waits in anticipation when he hears the cap open and before long, he feels Bucky’s lubed up fingers slide between his cheeks, pressing a finger right against him. 

“I might, if you answer within the time frame,” Bucky teases as he slides a finger inside of him. Steve groans at that, arching his hips back to meet Bucky’s touch. Bucky looks far too pleased with himself as he begins to move his finger in and out of him. “So what’s it gonna be, huh? You want me to fuck you like this? You want me to fuck you from behind? Push you down on the bed? You want me to fuck you while you face me? Like that time I made you feel so, so good? See if I can find that again?” Bucky teases as he pushes a second finger into Steve. 

Steve groans at the idea of that but shakes his head. As much as he loved the prostate orgasm, the knowledge that Bucky probably could find that sweet spot again if they just gave themselves time. But he doesn’t want to share that with the rest of the world. It would earn him gold, sure, if he did that every now and then on his stream. The viewers could pay for every time they wanted Bucky to wring an orgasm out of him until all that’s left of Steve is a blubbering mess. But he wants to keep that private. He wants to keep that between the pair of them whenever they’re in a special mood. 

“No? Okay,” Bucky kisses at Steve’s throat, nipping a little at the skin. He’s moving his fingers at such a wonderful pace that Steve can’t help but move his hips in pace with it. Steve bites down on his lip. “C’mon, doll, tell me then, how do you want me to fuck you? You want it hard? You want it slow, nice and easy where I just slide into you?” Bucky asks him, stroking his other hand over Steve’s ass and squeezing it, a third finger slides in and Steve moans. 

“I want,” Steve begins and swallows but finds that it’s rather hard to think and that he can’t focus. With the rocking of his hips, their cocks rub against one another, pressed against one another with the help of their abdomens. He wants nothing more than to wrap his hand around them both and stroke them. Beyond that, Steve doesn’t even know what he wants, all he knows is that he wants Bucky and he doesn’t really care in what shape or form that is. The sound of token drops is overwhelming and at that moment, Steve’s half tempted to turn down the volume on the speakers so they don’t have to be disturbed by it anymore. “I want you like this,” Steve eventually says and kisses him. He doesn’t want to move away from Bucky, not when he’s right there and he could keep him so close.

“Alright,” Bucky whispers against the skin on Steve’s throat and he pulls his fingers out of him. Steve whines a little at the loss. When he feels Bucky squeeze his hips a bit and make him lift them up, he moves along. Feeling how Bucky’s cock slides in between his lubed asscheeks and how Bucky spreads it nice and evenly on him before pressing the tip against him. He kisses the hollow point right where Steve’s throat meets his chest. Bucky scrapes his teeth up over Steve’s skin and then with a very light pull at Steve’s hips, he lets Steve lower himself. 

Steve shudders when he feels Bucky’s cock slide into him. Stretching him in that slow, familiar way that makes him feel so full, makes him feel so fantastic as all he can focus on at that particular moment is how much he feels of Bucky inside of him. He runs his hand up and down Bucky’s arm, occasionally dragging his nails down the skin. Bucky doesn’t react much to it and just starts to move his hips a little, guiding Steve’s with his grip on him. 

Steve moves along with him, moaning at the sensation of Bucky’s cock sliding out of of him, and the wonderful feeling of being filled once more when Bucky thrusts inside of him again. He groans again, opens his eyes and looks at Bucky. Bucky smirks right back at him before pulling Steve down in a kiss. He starts to move his hips a bit faster so Steve moans and pulls away from Bucky, placing the palms of his hands on the bed and leans back.

Bucky strokes a hand down Steve’s chest, then slowly wraps his fingers around Steve’s cock. Steve can’t help but moan a little louder as Bucky starts stroking his hand up and down over Steve’s cock, giving him those light little squeezes at all the right places like he knows Steve likes it. 

“I’m not gonna last long if you keep doing this,” Steve warns Bucky but truth to be told he doesn’t really care what the outcome is. He hears Bucky’s deep happy laugh and his fist stays around Steve’s cock. He strokes him quickly, his pace not quite matching his own thrusts. But Steve feels good nonetheless, he moans and keeps moving his hips to get more pleasure. He feels his orgasm build up, slowly and patiently. Steve could chase it by moving faster but he tries not to. Instead, he just wants to let it build up slowly on its own. 

It works but the closer Steve feels himself getting, the harder it becomes to move at the same pace and not chase it. He lets out a whining little noise which Bucky knows means that he’s getting closer. Bucky’s other hand slides from Steve’s hip to the small of his back, pulling him in just a little bit closer. He keeps stroking him, squeezing him just a little bit tighter than before. He brushes his thumb over the head again and Steve whimpers again. 

“Come on doll, cum for me. Let yourself feel good,” Bucky says and brushes his thumb over the head again. Steve tenses up at that and cums with a deep strangled moan. It drips off him and over Bucky’s fingers and hand. “There we go,” Bucky whispers, sounding completely in awe with the sight. “There we go. I bet that felt real good,” 

“Uhuh,” Steve manages to respond while he nods, sounding a little stupid. But he can’t help but grin, feeling all warm and fuzzy from his orgasm. Steve opens his eyes and blinks lazily down at Bucky’s hand, then at Bucky. He leans in again and kisses him, soft and sweet while he slides an arm around Bucky’s shoulder.

Bucky hums in delight at that, wrapping both of his arms around Steve’s back and keeping him in his lap while kissing him. “Want me to make you feel that good?” Steve asks him, nipping a bit at Bucky’s bottom lip. “Want me to make you feel so good, with something inside of you?” he asks, barely catching the way Bucky’s eyes widen before he starts kissing Bucky’s neck. “We could use one of the dildos, the small one. You wear the plug so good now, sweetheart. I could fuck you with it, would you like that?” 

“I-” Bucky stammers and swallows. Steve grins as he presses another kiss against Bucky’s neck before pulling back again to watch him. Bucky’s hair is damp with sweat, curling all over, his eyes otherwise so bright are dark now. Steve raises an eyebrow, as if that asks his question again. Bucky nods, it’s small and miniscule but it’s evident. “Yes,” 

“Well then.” Steve puts a hand on the back of Bucky’s head and kisses him, slow and deeply. “Get on your side,” Steve tells him and shifts off Bucky’s lap. Bucky blinks at him, huge and confused eyes as he watches Steve dig through their drawer. They hadn’t planned for it, yet Steve finds himself enjoying the element of surprise. He pulls out the small dildo and shows it to Bucky who nods in excitement and agreement before finally moving. He does as he’s told and goes to lay on his side, turning his front to the camera. The computer is going wild with token drops. Mostly from the people who have watched them for quite some time, Steve imagines, who realise that they’re in for a very special treat. 

Steve returns to Bucky, strokes a hand up his thigh and makes him move it up. “You still liking that cockring?” Steve grins down at Bucky and lubes up the dildo. Bucky only nods as a reply, keeping his eyes fixed on the black toy that’s about to go in him. Steve both wonders and hopes that he’ll be able to make Bucky cum like this. He really wants Bucky to feel good. 

With the toy fully lubed up, Steve shifts behind Bucky. Offering his arm for the other to lay his head against and to rest his back a bit against Steve’s chest. Steve pulls out the plug of Bucky which earns him a moan. Carelessly, Steve throws it behind them on the bed and grabs the dildo. Against him, he feels how Bucky’s tensing up in anticipation. 

“Shh, just relax, sweetheart,” Steve whispers to him and presses a kiss to Bucky’s shoulder. He presses the toy against him, gives Bucky a handful more seconds, and then pushes it in. Bucky lets out a little gasp of surprise, quickly drawing it out to a light shudder of a moan. The toy isn’t wider than the plug so it slides into him nice and easy. “There we go. You’re doing so well,” 

“Fuck,” Bucky gasps and shudders a little. Steve gives him a moment, moving the arm that Bucky’s resting his head on just a bit, bends it, and manages to stroke his fingers over his chest. “Fuck, Stevie.” 

“You okay?” Steve still asks, pressing another series of soft kisses against Bucky’s shoulder. He hears a little whine and Bucky nods. Whatever he’s feeling, Bucky’s enjoying it more than he thought he would. Steve presses his thigh against the base of the toy, making sure that it stays in him and lets go of it one moment. “C’mon sweetheart, lift your leg a bit so they can see,” he says, stroking his hand down the inside of Bucky’s thigh, brushing the back of his hand over his hard cock and makes him lift his leg up. The position changes so Bucky’s laying properly on his side now. Cock on display for Steve and dripping with pre-cum and glistening with some lube still, the angle allows them to see just how Steve will move his hand to thrust into him with the toy, giving the viewers best of both worlds. 

“Tell me if it’s too much okay?” Steve whispers to him and presses a kiss right behind Bucky’s ear. Bucky nods a little and Steve grabs hold of the toy. He pushes it into Bucky just a tiny bit more before he starts to pull it back. Against him, Bucky shivers a little, moaning softly. Steve smiles at him and pushes it right back in him in a thrusting movement with his hand. Steve presses another kiss on Bucky’s shoulder. There’s just the slightest bit of resistance to the toy, just a little bit now as Bucky is getting used to the sensation but in a very different way than before. 

Still, Bucky moans from it, soft and light as he seems to enjoy himself. It doesn’t take very long before he can tell that Bucky’s moving his hips along with it, gaining maximum amount of pleasure from the small toy. 

“Fuck, Steve,” Bucky moans. His eyes are shut and his chest is rising and falling quickly as he breathes harder. “Fuck, that feels good,” Bucky moans again, louder and a bit more drawn out now. To tease him more and to work him up, Steve pushes the toy all the way into him so Bucky can feel the full (but relatively short) length of it. “Do that again,” Bucky tells him so Steve does. He pulls the toy nearly all the way out before pushing it right back in. 

Steve keeps a slow but determined pace. Wanting not to take too many liberties unless Bucky tells him. Now, in hindsight, Steve feels almost confident that they could have used the slightly larger one and that Bucky would have been able to take it just as well, enjoy it just as much if not even more. But he’s suddenly glad that he gets to keep that first time for himself. For then, Steve wants to be in front of Bucky and watch his blissful expression, instead of through what little he can see on the computer. Even if that’s a wonderful sight on it’s own, he doesn’t want to disturb by switching their positions from their current ones. 

Bucky’s mouth is dropped and there’s a red tint over his cheeks. The muscles in his chest and stomach ripple almost every single time Steve thrusts the toy inside of him, like he’s tensing up around it every single time to feel more from it. Bucky has tangled his left hand in his hair, needing something to hold on to while his other finds Steve’s hand that’s stroking his chest, lacing their fingers together and squeezing it tight, resting them both just where his heart is. The light movements that he makes with his hips to feel more of it. The way his cock is still hard with the cockring still wrapped tight around the base and balls. He’s as pretty as a picture, Steve wants to remember it forever. 

“You like it?” Steve asks him and nips down on Bucky’s shoulder. Hard enough to give off a sharp sting that makes Bucky gasp but not hard enough to leave a mark for the next day. Just enough to heighten everything else that Steve’s doing to him. “Am I making you feel good, sweetheart?” Steve asks the question even if he already knows the answer. Of course he is, just look at Bucky, just listen to him. But he does it because he knows it turns Bucky on, because he knows it’ll earn them another token drop when Bucky finally answers. 

“Uhuh,” Bucky responds with a nod, then moans again quickly after. There’s something different about the way he’s moaning now, it’s just a little bit higher, making him sound far needier than he did before. So whatever Steve’s doing, he’s doing  _ something _ right because he can make out that moan in any situation. “Keep going, Stevie, please keep going,” Bucky pants to him. Steve can’t deny him that when he puts it like that. 

Steve keeps going, keeps moving the toy in and out of Bucky in that same thrusting movement at the same pace. Bucky whimpers again and tugs at his hair a little, Steve bites down on his shoulder again, just as sharply as before. Bucky makes another little noise at that and, even if he can tell that Bucky’s close just by the sounds that he makes, Steve is still surprised when Bucky cums with a long, almost punched out moan. Steve feels an intense surge of pride at that and moves the toy fully into Bucky and keeps it there. 

“There you go, look at you,” Steve beams at him and kisses the spot that he just bit. There’s token drops going wild over by the computer but Bucky seems to be oblivious to them in the haze that follows his orgasm. Against him, Steve feels how Bucky suddenly relaxes and drops back against him. “Look at you,” Steve praises him again and lets go of the toy, takes Bucky’s hand out of his hair and shifts so he can kiss his cheek. “You did that so well, sweetheart. You took it all so well and look how much you’ve enjoyed yourself,” Steve says and drags his fingers over Bucky’s cum on the bed-sheets.

Bucky snickers a little bit, letting it go over to the happy post orgasm laugh that only he’s capable off. Bucky turns a little against Steve and blinks at him with a tired look and a content, happy smile. Steve leans in to kiss him and Bucky makes a pleased little noise during their kiss. “Turn off the camera?” Bucky asks Steve lazily before kissing him again. 

Steve finishes their kiss before he moves away from Bucky who rolls onto his back with an oof. Steve settles himself in front of the desk and grabs the mouse. He winks to the camera and tells the viewers thanks for joining them that evening, then he closes the room. 

“I really liked that,” Bucky muses from the bed. His eyes are still closed and he’s resting both hands on his stomach. “Now I see why you like it so much, it feels real good,” Bucky comments and yawns. Steve brushes a couple of fingers from his clean hand through Bucky’s hair and then grabs the wet wipes from the desk to clean his other hand. 

“I was almost certain you’d love it,” Steve says and starts to clean his fingers, then he glances over at Bucky with a smirk. “I can’t wait until the day where it’ll be me instead of a toy,” Steve says, Bucky makes a delighted noise. “How you feeling? Not too sore after that?”  Steve adds and drops the packet of wipes in between them on the bed so Bucky can clean himself up a bit if he wants to. 

“I feel it but it’s okay,” Bucky comments and rolls back over on his side to grab a few wipes. “Might not want to play with anything of the like tomorrow though.” Bucky pushes himself up to a seated position and starts to clean himself off. His skin has a wonderfully flushed tone and his hair still has those beautiful curls that he only gets when his hair is wet or damp. “My legs felt funny though, all tingly,” 

“Oh, that happens,” Steve assures him and then scoots off the bed, he leans back in just to kiss Bucky on his cheek and then goes to fetch clean covers. “Means it was my angle, it’s nothing to worry about. You feel weak legged now?” Steve asks and casts Bucky a look over his shoulder. Bucky nods his response but seems to be satisfied with the explanation that Steve offers. “It’ll pass, it’s nothing to worry about, I’ll be more mindful next time. I’ve only really fucked myself with toys so.” Steve snickers at that and takes out fresh sheets. “You stay on the bed a bit till you feel better.  I’ll change the sheets in the meantime. Check how much we made? They seemed to have loved the show today,” Steve says and comes over to the bed. 

Bucky shifts down to the foot of the bed and pulls the covers out from under him so Steve can change them. Himself, he takes the mouse in hand and scrolls all the way to the top of the conversation. Steve rolls his eyes at that. There’s a simple and easy function that they can click to see how much they made but Bucky the geek likes to do the math himself. He has never been wrong before so Steve lets him count the money however he wants. Even if he himself thinks it’s a bit ridiculous. 

Steve changes the sheets while Bucky scrolls through the commentary on their show, occasionally muttering a number in a low tone. Steve can barely make out what he’s saying but he’s not really listening anyway. At least not until he’s nearly finished making the bed and Bucky turns to look at him. He’s squinting a little because he didn’t wear his glasses. “Hey Steve?” Bucky asks. Steve hums and shifts onto the bed behind Bucky and kisses him once on his lips. “Do you think I’m… thick?” Bucky asks, using a tone that Steve doesn’t quite like and can’t quite place. It sounds a little uncertain and he’s not used to Bucky being the uncertain one.

Steve shrugs as a response. Sure, he thinks Bucky’s gained a little weight but he wouldn’t call him thick. To be honest, he doesn’t even know how you’d qualify to call yourself thick according to meme standards. It’s not worth pointing out to Bucky, he thinks, he doesn’t care if he has a little bit of chub or not. “Why?” Steve asks and presses a kiss to Bucky’s shoulder, glancing at the commentary in their now closed chat room.

“Doesn’t matter,” Bucky says and continues to count together the total amount of tokens earned. Steve stays quiet for a moment so Bucky can count in peace, he just strokes his fingers up and down Bucky’s back and occasionally glances to the screen. “Tokens earned, sixteen thousand,  six hundred ninety tokens. Totalling at eight hundred, thirty four dollars and fifty cents. Not bad,” Bucky says, the uncertain tone is gone from his voice now and he’s smiling a little bit. 

“Not bad at all,” Steve smirks and kisses Bucky’s shoulder. “You wanna grab a shower and head to bed? We gotta be at the venue tomorrow morning,” Steve suggests, not looking forward to getting out of bed early but feels rather excited at the idea that they’re to plan out how they want the tables to be. 

“Yes, let’s. You good enough to stand up now?” Steve asks and slides off the bed, offering a hand to Bucky. He takes it and stands up. 

 

\--

 

“What if you push that one over there?” Winnie suggests and points over to one of the corners in the venue. Steve glances up at Bucky and sees how he just  _ glares _ at his mother. The corner that Winnie is pointing to is over on the other end of the venue and the tables are heavy. Bucky reads Steve’s mind in the sense that Steve  _ doesn’t _ want to move the table around even more. His shirt is already sticking to his back and Bucky is looking increasingly more annoyed with his mother for offering her input. 

Bucky had been the one to suggest they invite Winnie along when they’d figure out the placement of the tables. Just so she could help them figure out who could sit where to a rough extent and who should have at least a table in between them. Steve thought that it was a little bit too comical. Almost a little like a movie where relatives hated one another and just didn’t talk to one another. Until Winnie actually told him that while everyone was on speaking terms, some cousins and some uncles were best kept at a distance from one another as soon as the open bar was to open. 

But Bucky, it seems, started to get annoyed by every single suggestion that she had. He had grown quiet when they were pushing tables around and occasionally would take a real sharp breath through his nose. Steve had found that it was the best to just stay quiet and shuffle things around like Bucky or Winnie wanted. The air is tense and Winnie seems to be oblivious to it for the time being but Steve knows Bucky well enough to know when he is trying to contain himself and stop himself from just losing it and starting to shout. Bucky is just stressed, they both are stressed. There is no avoiding it anymore at this point. 

The wedding is in twenty-eight days, in exactly four weeks time, and in hindsight it is a really fucking idiotic idea of his to try and plan it in four months time. They have managed to do a lot in a very short period of time but for the last month, it seems like they will have to handle two things a day at least in the hope that they make it in time. They still need to find a hotel for their honeymoon or rent a home for a few weeks but at least they have booked tickets (Brazil). They need to find someone to watch Hamburger and Hot Dog while they are gone. They still need to pick up their suits, get haircuts, have a last meeting with their photographer, figure out the placements of the guests, write the cards for the placements, write vows, finalize their music playlist for the party, learn how to do one stupid dance, figure out what little gift to give away to the guests, package those gifts, and… 

And not to mention all the things that they still need to pick up. For the last four weeks until the wedding, Steve doubts that they’ll have a single day where they’ll be able to sit on their ass, eat ice cream and just laugh. Let alone just watch a movie. So yes, they are both stressed to pieces, each showing it very differently. Bucky grows snappy with everybody who dares to talk to him. And Steve, well, he does what he has almost always done during his youth. He swallows it down. Pushes it into a deep and dark place and denies that it exists in the first place. As soon as the wedding is over, he’ll open the door to that dark place and let it all go. Because it is over, there is nothing to stress about anymore. 

“I’m not pushing the table over there, it’s the dark corner, mom,” Bucky mutters and straightens up. He reaches for his back pocket and pulls out a twix. “What we are putting over there is the table with the freaking presents, it doesn’t have to be lit up like it’s a freaking runway,” Bucky grumbles and opens the wrapper to it. Winnie looks over at him and Steve can tell from her expression that she’s not appreciating the tone that Bucky’s using with her. 

“You should stop snacking,” Winnie huffs and crosses her arms across her chest. She looks around the venue. Steve glances at Bucky, not certain if she said it to be hurtful, he can’t believe that she would do that. But Bucky looks absolutely livid. “You’re not going to fit in your suit if you keep eating like you do. What if we just twist this table and put it the other way?” Winnie continues and gestures over to the table that she means. Steve glances in between the two Barnes members and can now tell that she didn’t mean to sound hurtful, just as well as he can tell that Bucky took it like a jab. 

“Actually I don’t  _ have _ to,” Bucky snaps to her, voice rising a little bit as he looks to her. He’s gripping the back of a chair so hard that the knuckles on his hands turn white. She raises an eyebrow and looks back at him, now surprised with his reaction. “I had my last fitting two weeks ago. My suit is fine,” Bucky spits out the last sentence to her. Steve lowers his head and feels awkward watching the show go down. Bucky did have his last fitting two weeks ago, so he’s speaking the truth. 

“Don’t talk to me like that,” Winnie says cooly, not having any attitude of Bucky. For a moment, Bucky looks like he’s getting ready to start screaming at her. The silence hangs heavy over the three of them and one of the hosts coming in to the room seems to halt at the way everybody is just looking at them. Then they just back away silently. Unknown to everyone but Steve who noticed them come in. 

“Let’s just get this done, I want to go home,” Bucky then says. Instead, he grabs the table again and stares down at it. “Let’s move it to the right, Steve.” 

Steve says nothing and lifts the table along with Bucky. 

 

\--

 

It’s nearly midnight and they’re still up writing names on cards in the living room. Steve’s sitting on the floor, legs crossed and just crouched over the coffee table. He’s barely listening to the show that they’ve put up on netflix, having lost focus hours ago. He’s tired and wants to go to bed. By now, his wrist is hurting from writing in fancy cursive that’s so unlike his own handwriting. 

Bucky has barely said a word since they came back to the apartment. He just scooped up Hamburger as he ran to meet them and went to the bedroom. Shutting the door behind him. Steve debated on going after him but instead opted to give Bucky a bit of space. Sure enough, an hour later he came back out and suggested they’d order pizza for dinner. He didn’t feel like cooking. Steve saw no reason to object. 

Once the pizza was finished, they moved to the living room where Bucky watched a movie while Steve worked. When Steve was finished, dressed in fresh clothes and newly showered, they pulled out the map of the venue, drawn out with the table placements and names scribbled all over them in the middle. They split half by half and started writing the cards. They only take breaks if they need to go to the bathroom and Bucky occasionally takes one to head out on the balcony for a cigarette. When Bucky came back the last time, he brought along a bag of chips. Steve just glanced at the bag but not said anything as Bucky opened it and started eating while writing the cards. He is careful to only eat with his left hand and manage all the cards with his right so he won’t stain them. So Steve doesn’t really care if he wants to snack while writing or not. 

At least, not until he hears a sniff. 

Steve looks up from his own cards and to Bucky, seeing how he has put down his pen and is blinking rapidly. Steve straightens up a little and tilts his head a bit. “Bucky?” Steve says softly. He’s not certain what to expect but he sure as hell doesn’t expect Bucky to just start  _ bawling _ at the mention of his name. Steve almost visibly flinches at that out of surprise. He can’t remember a single time in their time spent next to one another where he’s seen Bucky cry. And here he now is, bawling on their couch. “Bucky, what’s wrong?” Steve asks and pulls himself up on the couch, uncertain if he should put an arm around him or not. In the end, Steve opts to do just that and pulls in Bucky to hug him. “Buck, what’s wrong? Talk to me, why are you crying?” 

Bucky shakes his head at first, not really responding to Steve’s question which only worries him more. So Steve just holds him tightly, petting his hair and whispering to him that it’s going to be okay. Bucky clings to him as he cries, deep sobs that make his shoulders shake with every breath he takes. Steve tries not to make Bucky tell him what’s wrong, there’s no point in that just yet. Not until Bucky’s calmed down and can talk to him. One of the cats wakes up from the armchair, stretches and jumps down to the floor, pads over to them and meows for Bucky’s attention. It works somewhat. 

Bucky manages to calm himself down a little bit and picks up Hot Dog from the floor, cradling the cat to his chest and giving him a kiss on the top of his hair. Hot Dog instantly shuts his eyes and starts to purr, content with the warmth and comfort that comes from Bucky’s clothes. “Bucky, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Steve tries again and squeezes Bucky’s bicep. Bucky sniffs again but doesn’t respond straight away. Steve’s heart is pounding in his chest, worried why Bucky’s so upset. 

“I lied,” Bucky admits in a soft tone. The confession hits Steve like a ton of bricks, mostly because he doesn’t even have a fucking clue what Bucky could have possibly lied about. And then there’s the fallout that sets a ball of anxiety inside of him on fire. Bucky looks absolutely devastated and utterly heartbroken. Steve still doesn’t quite know how to react at a crying Bucky. He’s only ever seen a hint of Bucky having cried once and that had been through a computer screen. To have him bawling like this in his arms is terrifying. 

“You lied? Buck, what did you lie about?” Steve asks softly and reaches out to brush his fingers through some of Bucky’s hair. Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad, right? He wants Bucky to feel calm about it. They’re about to be married, they’re supposed to work through bumps like this. Their relationship had been a fairly smooth ride. Steve can count the arguments they’ve had since becoming an item with one another on one hand. “Bucky, I promise I won’t be mad at you and whatever it is, we’ll fix it okay? What did you lie about? You can tell me,”

Bucky takes a deep breath and sits up a little bit straighter. He wipes at his eyes and looks over at the cards they’ve been writing on the coffee table. Once Bucky has told Steve what’s wrong, they’re calling that quits for the evening. Bucky needs to sleep, so he’s going to pack them both into bed and bring the tablet with him. They can prop it up between them and watch a show together until they drift off. 

“I lied to mom,” Bucky admits quietly and pets Hot Dog again, scratches him behind his ear. The cat just leans against the touch with a happy expression. Steve instantly feels calmer at that little bit of info. At least Bucky didn’t lie to him, he’s just feeling guilty over something he said to his mother. He didn’t feel the need to lie to Steve and in between them is still an unbroken trust. “I told her I went to my last suit fitting, remember?” Bucky asks and looks up at Steve with terrible, red and tired eyes. His skin is blotchy and Bucky looks absolutely miserable. Steve squeezes his shoulder again and nods to indicate that he’s listening. 

“Remember how… remember how she said I needed to stop snacking or I wouldn’t fit in my suit, and I said I still fit in it?” Bucky asks, almost as if the incident had happened months ago and not that very morning. As if there was a chance that Steve might have already forgotten it. 

“Right,” Steve says, feeling a little confused by it all so far. Bucky looks back at the coffee table and at the cards and suddenly he looks pained. His features begin to crack and Steve realises he’s only moments away from starting to cry again. Hot Dog notices this as well and looks up at him, opening one of his eyes and meows at them. Bucky takes a sharp intake of breath and continues to talk. 

“I lied,” Bucky repeats and looks down at the cat. “The suit doesn’t fit anymore, they’re gonna have to adjust it now. I’ve been snacking too much and I’ve gained.” Bucky wipes at his eyes. “But I eat when I’m stressed! I always have and we’ve had to do so much and we got so much still to do and I don’t know if we’ll have it finished in time and the gallery and work and so many other things and I just snacked to keep going and now I’ve gained and now my fucking suit won’t fit,” Bucky rants all in one breath without taking a moment to pause, honestly making it a little difficult for Steve to keep up with what he’s saying. When Bucky’s distraught, he doesn’t even sound the same. He sounds like an entirely different person. 

“Bucky, calm down,” Steve says softly. Bucky falls silent, swallowing the words that he planned to say and looks back at the coffee table. Steve follows his gaze and now he realises that Bucky’s staring at the bag of chips. Probably the bastard that broke Bucky down to tears this evening. “Look at me,” Steve says. Bucky looks at him with those red eyes and that miserable expression and it tears Steve’s heart to little pieces to see him so sad. Yet he forces a smile to him. He’s got to be strong for him now. 

“It’s okay, so what if you’ve gained a bit? That’s not a big deal. The tailors will fix your suit. That’s what we pay them for. They know the date of the wedding, Bucky, they will fix your suit and you’ll be able to wear it and you’ll look gorgeous. You already do, with the weight and without the weight. I love you and I don’t care if you gain two hundred pounds, okay? I’ll still love you and I’ll still be by your side,” Steve tells him. It coaxes a small little smile out of Bucky and he leans in to rest his forehead against Steve’s chest. Steve instantly scoots a little bit closer and pulls Bucky in for a hug, kissing him on the top of his head. “I won’t tell your mom. We’ll keep it to ourselves. If you want, I’ll support you and help you try and lose a bit of it before the wedding. I’ll support you through that as well, okay? I promise,” Steve says, throwing in the promise because he knows Bucky well enough to know that it’ll be the only thing that’ll make him believe it. 

“Okay,” Bucky whispers against Steve’s chest. Steve feels how Bucky’s shoulders relax a little and drop down. Hot Dog starts purring again, feeling the calmth that’s slowly working through Bucky and winding him down from the incident that just occured. “Okay,” Bucky repeats and nods before pulling away. His nose sounds stuffy and only a second later, he sniffs again. “We should finish these,” Bucky nods over to the cards but the excitement is nowhere to be found on his expression. Steve shakes his head. 

“No. We’re letting them rest,” Steve decides and waves his hand over to the coffee table. “We don’t have to have that finished tonight, we don’t need these until the day before. It can wait until Monday, hell maybe even Tuesday,” Steve smiles a little at him, brushing his thumb over Bucky’s cheek and wipes away one of his tears. “I know we said that tomorrow we were going to fix the music and all that. But we’re not going to do that, That can wait too.” 

“Then we’ll just have more to do on a shorter time period, Steve,” Bucky whines at him. Steve adamantly shakes his head. Knowing very well Bucky’s desire to get as much done as he possibly can and then just sit down and do nothing. Or have time over to fix emergencies. Steve feels it too to a certain extent. But now’s not the time for that. 

“Bucky, planning a wedding was supposed to be fun. Right now we’re pulling at our hair over it. We’re taking a step away from it, okay? We’re going to wind down, calm down a bit and do something fun tomorrow and not think about it. Recharge our batteries. And then on Friday, Natasha comes over and we’ll either go out to eat then or on Sunday. Have a good time. And on Saturday when I’ve got to work, you and her are going to go out and do something fun. You need to relax. And I’m going to make you relax if it’s the last thing I do.” Steve pokes Bucky in the middle of his chest, who sways back a little and gives Steve a tired little smile. 

“Thank you,” Bucky says tiredly, then just flops down against the side of the couch. He shuts his eyes as Steve watches him and it strikes him just how heavy Bucky looks like this. Like he’s been drained of all will and energy, ironically making him weigh more than lead. Steve pets Hot Dog who bounces his head up to meet Steve’s touch. 

“Let’s go to bed, we’ll bring the tablet and watch something on netflix until we drift off to sleep, okay? Something more interesting than that,” Steve nods over to the tv. The show that they first put on is still playing in the background. Bucky doesn’t bother to look over at it. He remains on the couch like that, Hot Dog content in his arms. “You want to be little spoon?” Steve offers and brushes Bucky’s hair with his fingers. Bucky nods again. “Okay, come on then.” Steve reaches for the remote and turns off the television. 

He stands up from the couch and watches as Bucky gets up with more effort. He follows Bucky to the bedroom, turning off the lights as he goes and picks up their ipad from the kitchen counter. In the bedroom, Hamburger is curled up and asleep between their pillows. Bucky gently sets Hot Dog down on the bed who trudges over to his brother. 

“I’m sorry,” Bucky mutters as Steve comes into the bedroom and closes the door. Steve glances up at him, unsure what Bucky is apologizing for in the first place. He has to wait for his answer however, until Bucky has stripped off his sweatshirt. “For, you know, that,” Bucky nods to their door leading back out to the hall as if that explains everything. “I didn’t mean to get like that, I’m just. Tired,” Bucky tosses the sweatshirt to the chair that is designated to hold their worn clothes and sits down on the edge of the bed. He folds his hands together and looks at them. All of Bucky makes him look a little guilty, even if he never did anything wrong to begin with. 

“It’s okay, I know you didn’t,” Steve assures him and pulls a handkerchief out of their dresser, comes over to him and puts the ipad on the bed, then sits down next to Bucky. “Nobody ever does but it’s okay. There’s worse things in the world than that, even if it doesn’t quite feel like that right now. But I don’t care, okay? And you’ll see that neither do the tailors or your mom in the end, should she ever find out.” 

‘“I don’t want her to know,” Bucky says instantly. Steve doesn’t question that. Figuring that all that Bucky wants is not give his mother the satisfaction in knowing that she was right. In a way Steve can fully understand that. 

“We’ll make sure she doesn’t know,” Steve assures Bucky and kisses him on the cheek before handing him the handkerchief. Bucky takes it and blows his nose. Behind him, Hamburger startles away from the sudden loud noise. “Let’s get you settled in, pick something you want to watch on the ipad?” Steve suggests and gets off the bed again to take off his pants. Bucky doesn’t bother taking off his shirt like he usually does and crawls under the sheets wearing his t-shirt and sweats still. Gently, he rearranges the pillows and moves the cats around, Hamburger rolls up by Bucky’s hips while Hot dog curls up by Bucky’s chest. 

When Steve gets in the bed behind Bucky and turns the lamp on his nightstand off, Bucky is already scrolling through their list on netflix. His arm is held up at an awkward angle to ensure maximum comfort for the cats. Steve doesn’t say anything and moves right up behind Bucky, puffing up his pillow a bit and kisses Bucky behind his ear, sliding his arm around Bucky’s waist under the sheets. “I’ve been thinking about work,” Steve whispers to him, wanting to give Bucky something else to think about. Bucky hum but still scrolls through their list. 

“I’ve been thinking that maybe I should stop streaming about two weeks before the wedding,” Steve says, Bucky twists a little bit in the bed to look at him, entirely forgetting that he’s supposed to find something for them to watch. “Just to have more time on my hands and I don’t want to have to stress about it. I want to be home and land on my feet for the wedding. I’ll probably be so nervous that I can’t even get it up,” 

Bucky snorts at that and looks back at the ipad. Steve smirks a little. It’s still the truth, he doesn’t think he will be able to keep his focus on streaming and get it up as the wedding gets closer. But if the thought amuses Bucky than he’s more than happy to be of service for him, as long as it distracts him. 

“And I’m taking time off for the honeymoon and all. So I thought I wouldn’t start streaming again until about a week after we get back. So about six weeks all in all, I want to be with you. I was going to start saying on the stream that I’ll be gone for a bit, post a pinned tweet on my twitter and make a note on facebook or something, so people are aware. I don’t just want to drop off the face of the planet and have them wonder what the hell happened. I’d rather they’ve got a return date to look forward to.” 

“Makes sense,”  Bucky mutters and taps something on the ipad. The cheerful song of the intro starts playing, Steve’s not even certain what Bucky picked, he just sees that it’s animated. “I’ve started turning down jobs about a week before the wedding until a few days after we get back. Telling them that I’ll happily do it then but I’m getting married and I want to spend time with you.” Bucky settles in on the bed and against Steve’s chest. The cats both start to purr in unison for some reason. 

“What did they say?” Steve asks interested, squeezing Bucky a little around his waist. Bucky moves his arm under the sheet and squeezes Steve’s hand, lacing their fingers together. He seems calmer now, seems a little bit happier. Maybe the more they watch the show that’s happening in front of them, the more he’ll relax. Maybe he’ll have a good night and some good dreams, maybe he’ll succeed to sleep more than five hours. Bucky has never been one to need a lot of sleep but even weeks on end where he’d just sleep three hours is wearing on him. 

“One needed their project done asap so they found someone else. The other company was fine with waiting, they’ll take the time extra as a moment to do more planning, maybe figure out a way or two they want to improve on the app or something. I’ll probably get to theirs when we get back from Brazil.” 

“That’s good, they want your work for you,” Steve says in a low tone and presses a kiss to Bucky’s shoulder. Frowning a little bit when the animated father on the ipad starts screaming at his kids. In one flash, Steve realises that Bucky has picked a very adult tv show to watch and not an innocent show for kids like he first thought. “Bucky, what the hell did you pick?”


	5. Chapter 5

The sun isn’t really that bright but bright enough to sting Steve’s eyes and remind him that his head isn’t feeling quite right. There’s a heavy, nauseating feeling in his stomach. It’s funny, his head isn’t quite hurting but he sure as hell felt a lot better. The sun makes his eyes burn. Steve groans and buries his head in his pillow. The more time he spends awake, the more Steve realises that he regrets the previous evening. 

It hadn’t even been that wild! It’s a sign of age, he guesses. He had never believed Sam, who was nearly a decade older than him, whenever he had told him that hangovers were much worse the older you got and that they bother you for much longer and they feel much, much worse. The way Steve is feeling now is quite similar to the time in college when he had finished a small bottle of vodka on his own during the day and then continued his night with drinking red wine and whiskey until six in the morning. He had slept for about four hours, got up and gone to class. By the time his classes were over and one large pizza later, he felt nothing of the hangover. 

Now, Steve just had a couple of beers and two glasses of whiskey, slept for… Steve squints as he tries to get a look at the alarm clock, ten thirty in the morning. He’s slept for seven hours and he feels like he belongs amongst the cast of the walking dead or something. Steve whines again and buries his head in his pillow once more. 

They hadn’t even done that much! Everybody had come over to their apartment for a barbeque on the balcony, Sam, Bruce, Clint, Natasha, Peggy, one of Bucky’s sisters and some other friends had been adamant to give Natasha her first ever 4th of July celebration properly, as well as combine it with Steve’s birthday. There had been excellent food, excellent company, fireworks, hilarious card games that ended up with them all howling with laughter and a stupid cowboy hat that made its appearance when one of the cards demanded a pirate hat was worn by whoever put the card down. 

Near the evening, people had drifted off, leaving just Bucky, Steve, Sam and Natasha talking to the middle of the night. It wasn’t until then that the whiskey bottle had made its appearance on the table so all things considered, he shouldn’t feel as terrible as he does right this moment. But he does. He’s a year older now and his hangover has decided to remind him of that. 

Beside him, Bucky rolls over in the bed and drops a heavy arm over Steve’s back. Steve groans. It’s even too hot for that. He now realises that, at some point during the few hours they’ve been sleeping, Steve has just kicked the thin sheet off him and has been sleeping in just his underwear all night. Even so, the room is thick and stuffy, boiling hot, making it feel like Bucky’s arm will just melt onto his back. 

“I regret everything,” Steve whines into his pillow. Figuring that if Bucky is awake enough to roll over on the bed when he usually lays still, then he’s awake enough to hear his complaints. “My head hurts, god I feel sick,” Steve mutters, now more to himself rather than ranting his complaint to Bucky. He’s not going to throw up, he thinks, it doesn’t feel like it. But his stomach is going to make him regret eating anything at all. The way he feels now, he doesn’t even want any water. Steve doubts he’ll be able to eat anything except maybe a light salad or a piece of fruit until the late evening. Not even the idea of a big, greasy pizza sounds apatasing right now. 

“You had fun,” Bucky reminds him of, carefully brushing his thumb over Steve’s back. Steve makes another whining noise just because he feels like it. He just wants to feel bad and sick and lay in the cold tub in their bathroom and cool down. Would it really be that bad if he did that? Steve thinks he can get away with it, at least until Bucky decides he wants a shower. With the weather like this, it’s not unlike Bucky to want to shower three times a day in ice cold water  _ just _ to cool down. 

“This heat better fucking drop before next Saturday or I’m going to kill the weatherman,” Steve threatens and turns his head to look at Bucky again. His hair is damp from sweat and curling. Skin already wonderfully bronze from the time he’s spent lazing about outside the past two weeks, wandering around in the city to get the final preparations for the wedding done, and just spending time with Natasha. He looks absolutely wonderful but Steve doesn’t even want to kiss him in this heat. He pushes Bucky’s arm off his back, Bucky just drops it back on the bed in between them without any protest. 

“The weatherman isn’t going to be able to change the weather, doll. He just predicts it,” Bucky says so calmly that it’s almost as if he’s talking to a small child. Steve just huffs. He knows this, of course, but it’s not like he can strangle the sun for wanting to kill them all. “Besides, according to my app yesterday, we’ll have rain on the day of. It’ll cool down then.” 

“I don’t want rain on our wedding,” Steve mutters. He doesn’t want it too hot, he doesn’t want rain, he doesn’t want it to be cloudy. He just wants it to be nice weather with sunshine that allows him to wear a suit without having to feel like he’s being cooked. Is that so much to ask?

“Rain on your wedding day is supposed to mean luck and a good marriage,” Bucky says dryly without even opening his eyes. Steve rolls his and barely sees how one of Bucky’s eyebrows is slightly raised and how he smirks. “It just might rain before and stop before the ceremony or something. Stuff’ll be cool then and we’ll have a good time, don’t worry,” 

“I’m not worried,” Steve sighs and rolls over onto his back. The sheet that he’s been laying on pries off him from the sweat. He groans at the nastiness of it and wants to change the sheets the moment he gets up and out of the bed. Doesn’t matter if Bucky’s still sleeping in it or not. “Just complaining, that’s all.” 

“Go and have some water, take something for your head. You’ll feel better after.” Bucky slides his hand under his pillow and shifts it, curling up around it. Steve looks to his side and watches Bucky. He looks absolutely wonderful like that and he’s struck by an overwhelming love for the other. In eight days, he gets to marry the man in front of him. He’s going to wake up beside him every single day for the rest of their lives. He’s going to have the chance to sit down beside him fifty years from now and see how the future shapes itself out. 

“You want anything in here?” Steve asks, props his elbows up and decides that perhaps it is for the best to finally get up. There’s no point in pretending he’ll be able to get anymore rest. Bucky shakes his head lightly, just enough for Steve to make out. “Okay, I’ll see you later.” Steve slides off the bed and silently pads out of the bedroom. He doesn’t really care that he’s only wearing his boxer briefs. Once the temperature rises beyond a set amount of degrees, people stop caring how much clothes you’re actually wearing. 

The first thing he hears when he steps out into the hallway and heads for their kitchen is the sound of a mixer. He winces a little at the sound, there’s no sharp sting in his head but it makes it clear that it  _ does not _ enjoy the sound of it. Natasha must already be up then. It doesn’t surprise him, honestly. Even though Natasha is smaller than him and had more to drink, he knows that she can hold her alcohol. Joking at every single opportunity she gets to say that she can drink like she does only because she’s Russian. Steve’s almost inclined to believe her. 

“Good morning,” Natasha says when she sees him wander into the kitchen. She’s already wearing her bikini top, her cheeks are flushed and beside her on the counter is a tub of vanilla ice cream. Her English has improved vastly in just a year but she still has a very strong, clear Russian accent that leaves no mystery to where she is from originally. “Making milkshake. Banana. You want some?” she offers and points to the mixer. 

Steve eyes the mixer for a moment. He’s not feeling up for any food. But a banana milkshake would taste heavenly in this heat. “Yeah, I’ll have some.” Steve comes over to one of the chairs by the kitchen island and slides down in it. Natasha turns and grabs another glass from the cupboard, helping herself fully. Steve glances over his shoulder and sees how both cats are sleeping in the shade underneath the coffee table. Hamburger is still looking a little pink. A sunburn from a couple of days ago finally fading. Steve’s own is still standing bright and red on his shoulders. It doesn’t hurt as much anymore but it’s starting to itch. So he’ll probably start to peel any second now. That better be gone as well before the wedding. A lot of things better solve themselves or he’s going to flip. 

Natasha pulls his attention back to the present and slides over a big glass of banana milkshake with a straw in it to him. “Thanks,” he says and pulls it in. The glass feels wonderfully cold against his fingers. He stirs it with the straw and then takes a sip. Groaning a little at the wonderful taste of it. “This is really good, Nat.” 

“I know,” she smirks at him. “When I was young, I grew up outside Sankt Peterburg, you know?” she asks, Steve nods. “Village right next to Baltic Sea. But I work in Sankt Peterburg as teen. Milkshake bar, there I learn,” she reveals with a content smirk. “Company secret, this recipe, I stole it,” 

“As you should have. This is delicious,” Steve says and stirs his straw through the drink again. He cups the cold glass with his left hand and wishes he had that chill run down his spine. What a wonderful feeling that would have been. 

“Bucky still sleeping?” Natasha asks and nods down the hallway. Steve nods his response, figuring that Bucky will get up whenever he’s ready for it. Steve is just happy that Bucky seems to be sleeping more lately, now with most of the wedding plans already finished and not having any projects to work on in the middle of the night. It makes it seem like his sleeping routine is evening out a little bit, even if it’s only temporary. It’s good though, Bucky needs the rest to pull himself through the week that’s to come. 

“You two have any plans for today?” Steve asks and feels just as hopeful for a yes as he does for a no. On one hand doing something would be nice but on the other hand, as long as they’re not doing anything, he can just lay around and be lazy. At least until he feels better. Natasha shrugs and takes the straw in between her lips. 

“Don’t know,” she says easily with little care in the world. Steve nods. “Depends on how he feels when he wakes up. Last night he was very happy.” Natasha waves with her hand in the direction of the bedroom. Steve snorts and nods in agreement. Bucky may have seemed pretty decent back in bed but the truth is that last evening, Bucky had seemed like he was one drink away from having an affair with the toilet. “I spoke with Sam yesterday,” Natasha then says suddenly, changing the subject away. 

“I saw,” Steve says and looks at her with curious eyes. For a good half of the evening, Natasha and Sam had been sat right next to one another. Engrossed in a deep conversation that made Steve wonder for a little while if there’s anything going on between them. If there is, he’s missed it entirely or he has just read the situation wrong. “What did you two talk about?” he asks, although he’s not quite certain it’s his business to ask in the first place. 

“I’ve decided to go stay with him from tonight. Give you two space before the wedding. Like you wanted. He offered, I will be going sometime this afternoon or evening. No need to think of me for dinner.” She waves with her hand again and finishes the last of her milkshake, grabs the tub of ice cream and turns to put it back in the fridge. 

“Okay,” Steve nods to show that he gets it and takes a large sip of his milkshake. The mixture is wonderful, tasting just enough banana tinted with vanilla from the ice cream. “You do know you’re not getting on a plane out of this country before you write down how you did this, right?” Steve asks and points at his glass. Natasha just gives him a mysterious little smile with a wink that makes her look all the more mysterious. 

She grabs her book from the counter, fills up her glass again with the last bit of the drink that’s in the mixer, offering a little more to Steve to top his drink up. Then she puts the container in the sink and goes out to the burning sun and heat, settles on the woven lawn chair they’ve put out there and starts to read. 

Steve watches her for a moment, a little bit jealous of Natasha’s carefree attitude about everything in life. No matter what, she always seems to be so composed and seems to know exactly what to do. She acts like she’s ten times the adult that Steve feels like. He sighs and takes his drink with him and goes out to the balcony. He squints at the sun, shining harshly into his eyes and takes a seat on the stool beside their small barbeque. Right, they still got go clean that properly from the evening before. “Natasha, can I ask you something?” 

Natasha doesn’t lower her book, instead her eyes just raise from the pages and she looks at Steve over the edge. There’s a curious twinkle in it and after a couple of seconds, she decides that whatever Steve’s about to ask her seems more interesting than what she’s currently reading. “Alright,” she says and closes her book, putting it down on her thighs on her shorts. Not risking that there might even be the faintest hint of a book in the tan that she’s working on. “Go  ahead,” she says and sips her drink. 

Steve stays quiet for a moment, struggling to find a proper way to phrase his question. Mostly he toys with the straw of his drink as he tries to find the right words. “Bucky and I, we struggle a little with something we’ve got to decide for the wedding and we’re not sure what to do. Can I have your advice?” 

“You asked if you could ask me something, that’s asking for my advice,” Natasha says dryly but doesn’t push it further. Instead, she just keeps watching Steve as she waits for him to continue. It doesn’t make the matter easier, he thinks, even if it’s just a simple question. 

“You know how during a wedding, the bride’s father usually walks her down the aisle?” Steve asks, Natasha nods slightly. “Well, that. We don’t quite know what to do. We haven’t decided. Neither of us are a bride. I would have wanted my mother to be there and walk down with me but, you know,” He shrugs, not wanting to go into depth about his mother to Natasha even if she knows the story. “We don’t know who should walk down first and how to do it. I think if one of us walks down first and then the other, it’ll feel awkward, like we’re putting ourselves on display or something,” 

“It’s your wedding, of course it’s a display of a kind. Shows them how much you love each other,” Natasha states the obvious. Steve rolls his shoulders. He knows that’s right, he knows that people are there to watch  _ them _ get married. But he can’t help but feel like it feels a little awkward to do it that way. 

“Bucky suggested he could go down with his mother or his father. And I could go down with the other parent. I’m part of the family now, he says. But that doesn’t sit right with me either. I love them, I do, but that’s just not right. Cause it should have been my mom and that’s not right for me to think that way.” 

“You want your mother there. Only normal,” Natasha interrupts him with a shrug. Once more she manages to say it like it’s no big deal. In a way Steve supposes it isn’t. It’s not a bad thing for him to want to walk down the aisle with his mother rather than Winnie, no matter how much he loves her as well. No matter how much Winnie would have loved Sarah and how much Sarah would have loved Winnie. 

“I don’t know how to solve the aisle situation,” Steve admits to her and sips his drink. The sun is burning his neck. Though Steve doesn’t believe that it’ll make his sunburn even worse than it already is. He finds it difficult to believe that there’s a deeper shade of red he can turn into. He already looks and feels like a lobster being cooked. 

Natasha doesn’t respond at first, she looks up at the cemented ceiling above them. There’s no noise in the apartment above their heads, the party of their upstairs neighbours for fourth of July had gone on just as late as their own. They had even joined in when the others started singing Happy Birthday for Steve. That had been nice of them, even if Steve still hasn’t seen them once face to face after living in the apartment for nearly a year and a half. 

“Go down the aisle together,” Natasha suggests with another careless shrug like it’s absolutely nothing. Steve considers it, they had talked about going down the aisle together but hadn’t talked about it in depth. They had both just considered options where they were separate from one another. 

“We weren’t going to see one another until the ceremony. It’s a bit odd to walk down together when that’s the case,” Steve counters that but doesn’t entirely ignore the suggestion. It would make him feel less looked at, less the centre of attention when he walks if he shares that spot with Bucky beside him, holding his hand. Someone brave enough to give Steve’s arm a little pull to get him to start walking. Steve already knows that when the time comes, he’ll be rooted to the spot. 

“Isn’t that the ceremony? So what if you see each other and walk down together? You’ll have a minute where you get to see each other before you walk down and say those fancy vows. You’ll have a last, private moment where you’re unmarried. Get to talk to one another for a little bit. You’ll have one another’s support all the way down the aisle to get married. Entering it like you’ll be through your married years, together,” 

“You playing poet again?” Bucky’s voice startles both of them. Steve suddenly sits up straight and Natasha flinches in the woven armchair at the deep, gruff sound of Bucky’s voice. He smirks, all happy and content with himself for scaring the two on the balcony and leans against the door. He too is standing there in just his underwear like Steve is. Natasha starts cursing at him in rapid Russian, Steve barely understands half of what she’s saying at that pace. 

“You awake?” Steve asks rather dumly, his heart still hammering away in his chest. Bucky steps out on the balcony and comes over to Steve, bends down and kisses him. 

“You taste like banana,” Bucky says and takes Steve’s drink out of his hands for a sip. He glares over at Natasha. “Did you save me some?” 

Natasha glares at him with narrowed eyes before she hisses. “You do not deserve one.” Bucky rolls his eyes and hands the milkshake back to Steve. 

“We were talking about the aisle situation,” Steve says and gestures in between himself and Natasha, though he’s certain that Bucky heard more than enough about the conversation before chiming in and scaring the life out of both of them. “Natasha thinks-”

“We should go down together, I heard,” Bucky finishes and turns to the barbeque, lifting the lid. He groans at the mess they’ve still got to clean and closes the lid again, making it disappear from their present time and allowing them both to further ignore it. “Do you want to go down together?” Bucky asks and looks down at Steve beside him. 

Steve pulls a face at him, a little bit afraid that he might hurt Bucky’s feelings by telling him the truth. The Barnes family has done so much for him since they first were introduced and have now truly accepted him as family. He feels as much of a Barnes as he feels like a Rogers. In a way, it feels rude for him to turn the Barnes family down with their offer to walk him down the aisle to marry their son. “I’d rather walk with you, if I’m going to be honest,” Steve says softly, scared of the outcome. 

Turns out, he doesn’t have to be scared. That it’s just the shitty sleep and the nausea that he’s got running through him that makes him worry for the outcome. Bucky just nods in response, smiling. “Okay, then we walk down together but we’re not seeing one another until we’re walking down, deal?” 

“Deal,” Steve agrees with a bright smile. 

“See? That was not so hard,” Natasha chimes in. 

 

\--

 

By the afternoon, Steve is slowly starting to feel a little bit better. Around four o’clock, he felt something switch inside of him and he went from not wanting to be near food to suddenly starving. A hint that his hangover was nearly finished, he downed another water bottle and started to dig through the fridge for something to eat. 

Natasha is in the guest bedroom, packing together all her things. Considering she has been staying with them for three weeks already, she’s being thorough and careful to avoid leaving anything behind. Bucky is sat on the kitchen Island with his laptop, headphones in one ear and half clicking on his mouse, half tapping his keyboard as he’s playing a game. Steve doesn’t bother to check what game he’s playing, all he knows is that his computer fan doesn’t like it and is going into overdrive this warm afternoon. 

Steve watches him occasionally as he nibbles at the leftover chicken from yesterday, enamoured in the pure focused expression that’s all over Bucky’s face. He finds it adorable, truly. The lines of the frown are still a sign of relaxation and ease, despite how everything has been these past few months. Watching Bucky play a game like that, for the first time in months, he feels like his future husband has finally landed and feels relaxed. Steve wonders if he too feels the butterflies in his stomach as the days get closer. 

Only eight more days and they’re married. Eight days from now, they are bound to one another for the rest of their lives. He’s found the love of his life and his best friend. He feels a sudden overwhelming gratitude for Bucky. All of this leads back to that one time when Bucky asked for a private viewing, just to talk, and they finally got to see one another for the first time. 

In fact, it goes even further than that. It goes all the way back to that day when Bucky decided to click on the stream that Steve had opened early on in his career. But Steve doesn’t count that as the time they met. He counts it as the first time they laid eyes on one another. That first evening when Bucky had his shit day and just wanted to listen to Steve. How Steve had indulged him and just rambled on about everything he could think off. Mostly painting and art. 

At some point, Bucky notices him staring and his eyes flash up from his computer screen and to Steve. Cold steel, bright and happy. The corners of his eyes crinkle as he smiles, though Steve can’t see it over the back of the laptop. Bucky taps a key on the keyboard, harder than the others have gotten their treatment and pulls out the one headphone from his ear. “What are you looking at?” 

“You, mostly,” Steve says and drops the bone of a chicken wing on his plate. “Remember how we met?” he asks as he picks up another one of the tiny chicken wings and starts to nibble at it. Whatever marinade that Sam had made is heavenly and he wants that recipe written down just as much as Natasha’s milkshake recipe. 

“I remember,” Bucky says with a little nod and pushes his laptop away from him. The fan goes crazy again and Bucky pulls a face. “That does not sound good,” he mutters under his breath before taking a sip. Then he nods again. “Yeah, I remember when we met.” 

“I don’t think I’ve ever asked. But why was your day so shitty?” Steve asks. Bucky lets out a little whistle and then breaks out laughing. Steve drops the small chicken wing on the plate again, now finished, and takes his glass of water, holding it as best as he can with his fingers still spread out to not make the glass greasy. 

“I just had one of those days where you wake up and everything feels shitty, you know? I think I slept like two hours because of work. There was a leak in my sink so my kitchen was like a lake. I had to revise a different project because they wanted something changed last minute. I didn’t have any food and made it to the store too late to buy anything. Had to pay that insane delivery fee and one of my external hard drives busted and I lost a lot of coding that generally made my life a whole lot easier. Everything was just going against me, you know? I wanted to think about something other than my own misery for a bit. Wanted to watch you and listen to you.” 

“That why you popped online almost instantly?” Steve teases him with a small smirk. Bucky rolls his eyes and Steve doesn’t doubt that if Bucky could, he would kick his shin for revenge.  

“I did have a notification on my phone for when you start a stream, jackass,” Bucky says with an amused little smile. “But yes, that is a little bit why. My phone went off so I signed on because I was prepared to toss myself of a building instead of dealing with the fucked up turmoil that was my day. You were an excellent distraction. I slept like a rock that evening, without having to cry myself to sleep.” 

“As far as I remember, it was morning for you when we logged off,” he teases again. This time Bucky doesn’t fall for the bait. He just shrugs a little in response and smiles at him. “I’m glad you asked for that private viewing. And I’m glad we just talked. Could you imagine how different our lives would be if you hadn’t done that?” 

“I don’t want to think about it, if I’m going to be entirely honest. It’s a terrifying thought that I wouldn’t have you. That I’d still just watch you from a screen and I’d still just be Red to you. You’d probably have met someone else.” Bucky shudders at the thought of an entirely fictional boyfriend for Steve. Steve wants to say that he wouldn’t want a different fictional boyfriend. He wants Bucky. But of course, in that alternate timeline, he wouldn’t have known that he’d prefer Bucky. Red would just have been Red, the sweet and forever loyal viewer that pulled him through so much in life. 

Steve opens his mouth to speak but he doesn’t get far. Between them, Bucky’s phone starts to ring. So instead, he falls silent and takes the last little chicken wing and starts to nibble at it. Bucky picks up his phone and checks the caller ID before groaning out loud. Complete with an eyeroll and tilting his head back. Yet he swipes his thumb over the screen and picks up anyway. 

“Hello mom,” Bucky says, annoyance already dripping from his voice. Steve really isn’t that surprised that she’s the one calling. She already called four times during the day to talk to Bucky about the wedding so in a way, he can understand his annoyance. Usually it is for little things but she’s just getting involved. Bucky, however, doesn’t seem to see it the same way. He stares off into the distance and Steve sees how his shoulders tense up. How he’s trying his best to remain composed and not snap at her over the phone like he’s already done a few times. 

Each and every single time Winnie told him off for that which really was more them screaming at one another over the phone. But Steve admires them both in the sense that once they’ve finished screaming at one another, they move on and are able to talk to one another. She could call back five minutes later about something entirely different and Bucky would still pick up, tell her he hadn’t heard that Rebecca and Jahan got the apartment they applied for and would be moving in very soon. It almost made it seem like there hadn’t even been an argument in the first place. It’s impressive. 

“No, you don’t have to pick that up. Mom no, it’s sorted. The venue is going to take care of it, okay? Just drop it,” Bucky says and rubs his face, keeping his hand to cover his eyes as he leans over the kitchen island. Steve hears how Winnie talks on the other end of the phone and Bucky takes a deep, frustrated breath through his nose. 

“Well, maybe they did that at  _ your _ wedding but they’re not doing it at  _ ours _ , okay? Don’t go pick up the flowers. The venue and the florist have an agreement. They are delivering it and the venue will put them out. You don’t have to ask if you can borrow Uncle John’s truck,” Bucky sighs and looks at Steve, he rolls his eyes and then looks back down to the kitchen Island. 

Steve feels a little uncomfortable, sitting there listening in on the conversation. He shouldn’t feel bad about that though. If Bucky wanted to keep it private, then he could very easily have walked out of the room. He didn’t. So that means that he doesn’t mind that Steve listens in. 

“Yes, mom. We’ve confirmed that. No. Don’t do that. I know, thank you. No. See you. Bye mom.  _ Bye, _ ” Bucky rambles on to the phone, growing short of words. He shuts his eyes as he speaks, as if that’ll help him keep his calm. Then eventually, when he seems to have reached the end of the conversation, he hangs up, turns off the sound on his phone and with that also the vibration, and puts his phone down again. “She wanted to know when we needed to pick up the flowers,” Bucky says and rolls his eyes before making a strangling movement with both of his hands. “She was fucking there when we agreed with the florist that they’d handle it with the venue.” 

“She’s just trying to help,” Steve says softly and attempts to lick his fingers clean. It doesn’t go that well so Bucky leans back and grabs the packet of wet wipes from the previous night, putting it down in front of him. “Thank you.” Steve grabs one of them and begins to clean his fingers. With a sigh, he continues. “You’re her eldest and you’re the first one to get married. She just wants to be involved and she wants to help us, that’s all.” 

“I know,” Bucky says and chews on the inside of his cheek. Steve squints a little. He can tell by just looking at Bucky that something doesn’t quite sit right with him. And whatever is bothering Bucky, he’s not willing to share it for some reason. Instead preferring to keep it close and hidden against himself. “What’s wrong?” Steve asks, not liking to see Bucky look that torn over something. 

Bucky glances up to him, it strikes Steve all of a sudden how guilty he looks. “I just…” Bucky begins and then sighs, scratching the back of his head and making more strands of his brown hair fall out of the loose bun. He still has to go and get a haircut before the wedding, not sure if he should just trim it a little so it looks decent or if he should cut it off entirely. Steve can’t imagine him without long hair. “I feel like I can’t complain about my mom with the wedding to you. I know she just wants to help her and I should be grateful. And I am. But I want her to take it easy and to just shut up sometimes. And I feel like I can’t do that to you because I know you’d give the world to have your mom here so what good is it of me to just sit and complain about it?” 

“Oh,” Steve says softly and looks down at his plate. 

“You see what I mean?” Bucky asks him softly. Steve nods, understanding fully what Bucky means by it. He would trade the world to have his mother by his side for the wedding. Truth to be told, sometimes it hurts to watch Bucky plan with his mother and the rest of the family. He wanted to do the same. Steve always misses his mother but goes without saying that he misses her more just for these past couple of months. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be a dick,” Bucky says and sighs, brushing his hair behind his ear. 

“You’re not,” Steve says and forces a smile to him. “Yes, I would like my mother here. But think of it this way. If she were here, she’d get just as involved as Winnie and then I’d be just as annoyed with her as you are with Winnie now. So… please don’t think that you can’t complain to me because of that. Our situations are different but that doesn’t make your feelings about it any less valid, okay?” Steve says, watching Bucky’s eyes attentively. They soften a little and with that alone, Steve can tell that Bucky is taking in what he’s saying and not blaming himself for it anymore. 

“Okay,” Bucky smiles a little at him with a nod. The more seconds that pass, the more Bucky seems to be growing at ease with it. “She really is just trying to help. But… she could call a bit less, right?” he says and chuckles nervously. Steve snorts and nods. He supposes that he’d feel entirely different about the situation and a whole lot more annoyed if Winnie called him all the time like that. 

“A little bit less would be nice,” Steve agrees with a smile, happy that Bucky is feeling better. 

 

\--

 

“Thank you so much for having me,” Natasha says and stands up on her tiptoes to give Steve a one armed hug. “It’s been very nice. Call if you need my help with anything, okay?” She squeezes Steve’s shoulder before she lets go of him and goes to hug Bucky. He gets a hug with both of her arms. Steve doesn’t mind and watches how Bucky slides his arms around her waist. To him, she whispers something in Russian. Whatever she says, Bucky agrees to with a nod and mutters a simple  _ da _ in response.

She waves to Steve a final time and winks before grabbing her bag and stepping out of the apartment, heading to the elevator and presses the button. Both Bucky and Steve stay in the doorway watching her until the elevator dings and the doors open. About then, Bucky kneels down and catches Hamburger who is on his way out of the apartment and hugs the cat against his chest. He makes a wail in protest but doesn’t seem to be very bothered otherwise. 

Natasha steps into the elevator, turns around and winks at them one more time, then the doors close and she disappears out of sight. Bucky lets out a heavy sigh and leans against the doorway. “I love her but I would be lying if I said I minded that she left,” Bucky says and scratches Hamburger behind his ear. Steve snorts and closes the door after them. The apartment feels quiet now without a third person in it, even if Natasha moves so quietly that you hardly ever hear her. In fact, you almost don’t know that she’s there and near you until you turn around and see her. 

“You know what you’re going to do for your bachelors, did she tell you?” Steve asks curiously and trails into the apartment by following Bucky. Bucky rolls his shoulders before he spins around and looks at him. 

“We’re just gonna go to an arcade. She and Clint cashed in like two hundred bucks in quarters and we’re going for pizza, just playing games until we’re broke. You want a beer?” Bucky goes over to the fridge and opens it, inspects the contents before taking out a can of beer for him. Steve shakes his head. 

“Make me a mojito?” he asks in a sweet voice and watches Bucky with an innocent little smile. Bucky narrows his eyes at Steve but then he gives in and takes out a glass for Steve. “Going to an arcade seems fun though, how long do you think it’ll take you guys to blow through two hundred in quarters?” 

Bucky shrugs and takes out some ice. “I have no idea. We will find out, I suppose. What about you? Sam tell you what you guys are going to do and when?” he asks and glances over his shoulder. Steve takes a seat by the kitchen island again, feeling the warm body of Hamburger rub up against his leg and meow, crying for food that he’s already had that evening.

“We’re going Sunday around noon. He’s not telling me what we’re doing though but it probably won’t be that bad, I imagine.“ Steve grabs one of the pens that lays on the notebook beside him and starts to play with it. “Sam’s good like that, he won’t do the whole humiliation thing. But I’m willing to bet he’ll make me wear a shirt that says getting married or something for the kick of it,” Steve pulls a face. Bucky cackles as he crushes the ice.

“You’ll have fun,” Bucky promises him. He checks his phone that’s lighting up again but doesn't respond. Steve guesses that it’s probably just Winnie calling him again. Instead Bucky just puts the phone down on the counter and continues to make Steve’s drink. “Hey Steve?” 

“Mm?” Steve asks as he watches Bucky’s back, enamoured by how the muscles work while Bucky moves around like that. He’s thought it before a thousand times and he will think it a million more times to come; he’s going to watch that every single day for the rest of his life and fall in love with him all over again. Bucky will be there and cook for him, make him drinks and give him sweet kisses. The butterflies take flight in his stomach again. Eight more nights and they’re married. The nerves are already starting to tremble and he doesn’t know how he’ll be able to keep himself calm and collected the closer they get. He’s got no idea how he’s supposed to get a good night’s sleep the night before. 

“Tell me about your mom?” Bucky asks and starts mixing the drink together, reaching for the white rum in their booze cupboard. Steve lets out a breath and sits up, not entirely sure where the question came from. “You never really talk about her, what was she like?” 

Steve doesn’t answer at first and starts to play with the pen again before he takes in a deep breath. “She would have liked you,” is the first thing that he tells Bucky. “She would have thought you were funny. You would have made her laugh to the point of crying and making her ribs hurt by your comments. She would have thought you were nice, she would have liked that you’re so helpful. Because you are you and you would have wanted to help her fix a sink or something if it broke.” 

Bucky hums and turns around, offering the mojito to Steve. Steve mutters a thank you and looks up at him. Bucky says nothing and takes seat in front of Steve. Behind him, his phone stops flashing and Bucky waits for Steve to continue. Steve realises that what he said doesn’t really say much at all. Steve looks down at his drink, suddenly finding it hard to explain the beauty that was his mother. He takes in a breath. 

“She worked as a nurse, you know that. She worked in a palliative ward, I’ve never told you that. So she worked with a lot of ill people. Cancer, strokes, heart issues, stuff like that. Real depressive shit, she saw a lot there. But they liked her because she didn’t walk in and treat them like the cancer they had, you know? It’s standard, you’re not supposed to, but it happens. She poured her heart and soul into those people, helping them through their last time, easing their pain and all of that. Sometimes she took her work home with her and I could tell that someone she cared for a lot was having a hard time. Sometimes she didn’t.” Steve drinks of his mojito and Bucky remains seated quietly in front of him. 

“She loved gardening, though we didn’t have a yard on our apartment block, not even on the roof. So all she had was what she could grow outside her window. It wasn’t much, mostly spices to use while cooking. Basil and thyme and stuff like that. She grew a lot of aloe vera plants when I was young cause the sap of it helped my eczema better than any salves or ointments. So she had tons of plants around the apartment that she looked after, potted and repotted them. Gave some away when we didn’t have space anymore. She named every single one of them because she could. Kept me busy making little name signs and draw them so she could stick them down in the pot with a toothpick.” Steve snickers a little bit at the memory, making Bucky smile as he listens while sipping of his beer. He had loved making those little signs, that had been her way to encourage him to make art. It was easier to make small little name signs for the plants on paper with coloured pens, rather than affording all the stuff needed for Steve to paint. 

“She would have adored netflix, she loved to watch shows, and she had something every evening she was home to watch if she didn’t work. And if she did, she’d have me record them and we’d watch them together on her evenings off. We didn’t have enough space for a kitchen table so we usually ate on the couch. We used to watch all sorts of things, from Dallas to Twin Peaks. She loved hospital series even if they’re inaccurate as hell. She got invested in Grey’s anatomy like you wouldn’t believe.” Steve rolls his eyes. Personally, he hated that show but he had sat and watched it beside her anyway because she wanted to spend time with him. And because he knew that she had spent four years sitting beside him nearly every day watching Pokémon. 

“You were close, weren’t you?” Bucky asks softly. Steve nods and sips at his mojito again. It tastes sweet but not so sweet that it’s overpowering. Bucky made a good mix. “She sounds real nice. It’s a shame I never met her,” Bucky then says all quietly, looking down at the table. Steve shrugs in response. There’s not much that can be done about it. His mother, no matter how healthy she had been, had ended up with lung cancer. The kicker was that she had never touched a cigarette. She walked to work every day and she walked a lot at work. She was fit and in shape, clocking in at nearly twenty thousand steps a day. She made sure they ate healthy. Steve hadn’t even tasted McDonalds until he was in Junior high and went with a few classmates after school once. The world could be a cruel place sometimes. 

At least it had gone quick for her. In four months time after getting the diagnosis, he was at the age of eighteen trying to figure out how to bury a parent. The scary thing had been how she had ended up in a ward not unlike the one where she had worked for all her life. Just in a different hospital because she knew every single one. And in four months, she had withered away until there was nothing but skin and bones left of her. She had been unrecognizable. Steve still very clearly remembers the strong grip that she had on his hands during her final moments. It had been her turn to be scared and cling onto someone else. Steve had been that rock for her. Then when she passed and the nurses had gotten her nice and ready, she had looked so at peace. So calm, free from all the hurt that she had been suffering through the last few months. He had broken down and cried like a small child then, overwhelmed at the sudden and very real sensation of being all on his own. But mostly because he had been so relieved that she had been at peace. 

“She would have liked you,” Steve repeats with a soft little smile to Bucky and sips his drink. Bucky looks at him, a little bit uncertain of what to do and how to act. But he doesn’t say anything. So Steve straightens up and tries to regain himself, tries to ignore that little parasite latching at the back of his mind reminding him that he’s all alone and his mother isn’t there anymore. But he’s not alone, not anymore. He’s got Bucky now. “Can we talk about something else?” Steve asks and wipes at his eyes, noticing that they’re watering. It shouldn’t surprise him, not really. It’s been over ten years but the death of his mother still feels raw like it had happened the previous day. 

“Of course,” Bucky says and nods, he grabs the notebook beside them and flips it open. “You get started on your vows yet?” he asks, twisting the conversation into an entirely different direction so fast that it leaves Steve confused for a short moment. He just shakes his head in response. “Yeah, me neither. I don’t do this artsy word thing well.” Bucky laughs. “Just don’t want to use the standard edition, I want to write my own.” 

“Me too,” Steve agrees and looks at the empty page in the notebook, dragging his fingers over it. He can paint and he can draw but writing? He doesn’t even know where to begin. Steve pouts a little and then looks up at Bucky. “We could write them now? Together? We wouldn’t have to show them to one another, we should keep that a secret still. But we can sit together and write them, watch the other when we do?” Steve suggests, thinking at first that it sounds like an absolutely ridiculous suggestion. But the more he talks, the more he likes the idea. 

“We could do that,” Bucky brightens at the idea. He grabs a pen and clicks it. “Let’s go sit outside, yeah?” he suggests and nods over to their balcony. Steve nods and grabs a notebook for himself. 

“Want me to put on some music?” Steve asks as he slides off his chair and watches how Bucky turns to their snack cupboard. Bucky opens it and stands on his toes to see what’s left in there after the party. All in all, his snacking has decreased but Bucky still carries that extra little weight around that he’s accumulated over the last couple of months. At least since the new fitting of his suit, he doesn’t feel bad about it anymore. Steve’s words finally sunk through to him. 

“Yes please,” Bucky shuts the cupboard again without taking anything out of it. He apparently didn’t find anything to his liking. Instead he turns his focus to the fridge. Steve doesn’t bother looking, he wanders off to Bucky’s music setup and pushes the home button to their ipad. 

It takes him a minute of fiddling before he’s got the system synced to the ipad via bluetooth, Steve turns down the volume and picks a playlist on spotify at random. The music fills the living room at a comfortable volume. Steve puts the ipad on top of it and heads out to the balcony where Bucky’s already seated himself by their table and is munching on a carrot. Steve sits down in the lawn chair and stretches out his legs. 

“So, how do we begin this?” Bucky asks and takes out his phone, putting it on the table. “Oh Steve, the love of my life, President?” He smirks at him. Steve just snorts and rolls his eyes in response. He would have nudged Bucky under the table if he was close enough. 

“Don’t you dare call me President in your vows,” Steve threatens and points at Bucky with his pen. Bucky chuckles and looks at his notebook, tapping it with his pen. “Just Steve, please? There’s no reason to drag work into our vows,” 

“But I do want you to know that I support your job, whichever one you’ll want to do,” Bucky says and takes a bite of his carrot. “You know I don’t care about that. I just want you to be happy,” 

“I know,” Steve nods, smiling sweetly at Bucky and props up his legs, letting the notebook come to rest against his thighs. At the very top of the page, he writes  _ Bucky _ , debating for a moment if he should write sweetheart. Are they going to use pet names in it? “What does google say? About writing vows?” Steve asks and watches how Bucky begins to tap away on his phone. The first thing that Bucky does when he finds something (or at least, Steve supposes he finds something) is break out in a fit of giggles. 

“The first tip I get is don’t wait too long, have your vows ready three weeks before the wedding. Woops,” Bucky says and leans back in his chair. Steve giggles a little himself and reaches for his Mojito, taking a sip and watching how Bucky scrolls on his phone. Then he turns more serious and lowers his phone. “It says we should agree on how long it should be. How long?” 

Steve shrugs a little and puts his drink back down on the floor. Hamburger and Hot Dog come out and sit down in the opening of the glass door and watches them with lazy blinks, staying in the shade. “Bout a page like this maybe?” Steve raises his notebook. It’s the same model as Bucky’s. “Then we don’t drone on forever and bore everyone. And we just get the vitals down?” 

Bucky nods in agreement and begins to scroll his phone again. “It says we should decide if we’ll have inside jokes in it or not.” Bucky looks up at Steve who just shrugs his shoulders once to indicate that they might. Bucky continues to read. “It says to say I love you, list our thoughts. We’ll be there through thick and thin for each other, yade yade… Share highs and lows, voice that we might need help of others?” Bucky pulls a face at that. “Don’t use words like always and never...Make promises. Don’t include everything. Make it a little bit weird and funny if we want it to be. Need me to go on?” Bucky asks and looks up at Steve who shakes his head. 

“No, I think we got this,” Steve says, feeling a boost of confidence at the instructions that Bucky had found on the internet. It can’t be  _ that _ hard, he thinks. He loves Bucky, he should be able to put those thoughts into words somehow. Writers do it all the time! He’s an artist too, just in a different way. If he can paint love, it shouldn’t be that difficult to find the right words to express his love, right? 

“Okay,” Bucky winks at him, then bites at the tip of his pen and looks down at his notebook. Steve watches Bucky for a moment like that, sitting in the sun and burning more of a tan into his skin. His hair has grown several shades brighter over the past few weeks since the beginning of summer and on some spots even seems to be streaked with blonde. He looks beautiful and no little pooch by Bucky’s tummy is going to change that. If they’re going to be married, in fifty years they will both look different from what they do now and they’ll have to stick through one another for that.  

Maybe he should just write how beautiful Bucky looks to him. Bucky has a habit of just waving it off and not take him serious when Steve mentions it to him. Steve does his best to make Bucky believe it. Bucky has a confidence and a swagger that would catch many off guard, it’s rooted deep inside of him, that’s just how he is. But if you get close enough, it’s easy to realise that Bucky can be quite insecure. Now, he is feeling low. Now he doesn’t quite feel like himself. As far as Steve is concerned, it’s his job to make sure that Bucky feels good. 

So Steve makes a bullet point on the other page.  _ Mention how beautiful he is, _ and he looks back at Bucky again who, with a focused expression, is scribbling in his notebook. Steve doesn’t think that he already is writing his vows. There’ll be a rough draft, then a second, then a third, then a fourth, then Bucky is going to panic and he’s going to call Natasha for help. Then there’ll be a fifth and then there’ll be sixth. Steve’s seen it before, it’s how he works, and he loves him for it. 

He could write about how hardworking that Bucky is, how when he goes for something, he really puts in all of him to make sure that it’s perfect. Bucky pours his heart and soul into any project he lays his hands on, doesn’t matter if it’s a new programming job or now writing vows or making sure that the cats adapted to their new home when they had finally brought them home. Bucky goes all in. So Steve makes a new bullet point underneath the first and writes down  _ passionate. _ Almost as if on queue, Bucky sticks out his tongue past the stud in it and bites down, giving him an almost childishly focused expression. 

The third bullet point that he writes down is how much he loves Bucky and how he’s like the sun to him, always warming him up and making him feel better when he feels a little low. Forever supportive and never complaining, almost always happy. Bucky truly is like sunshine for him and it’s almost fitting that the last rays of the day beam down on Bucky like that. 

Steve’s thought it about a million times already since Bucky asked if Steve would marry him. He loves Bucky and he is so fucking happy that Bucky is going to be his husband and no one else's. He is so fucking lucky that their lives intertwined with one another and now refuse to let go of one another. 

He’s going to marry the love of his life and his best friend. Not everybody is as lucky as he is. 


	6. Chapter 6

“I can’t do this, I’m going to die,” Steve blurts out and spins around to look at Peggy. Peggy does not look impressed with this statement. Steve’s heart is beating wildly in his chest as he turns around to look at himself in the mirror again. Steve thought that he was prepared for it. He had planned meticulously for this day and really hadn’t even felt that many nerves in his stomach when he and Bucky separated the evening before to go stay at their respective hotels. 

But now? Staring at himself in the mirror wearing a white suit, the whole event less than twenty minutes away? Now Steve’s heart feels like it’s going into overdrive and is going to stop any possible moment. He’s not even going to make it to the altar like this. His legs feel like they’ve been filled with led or his feet dunked in a bucket of cement before they tossed him in the Hudson, like he was part of some old school gangster movie. “I’m going to die.” 

“Nonsense,” Peggy says and grips Steve’s shoulder, turning him around so he can’t stare at his reflection anymore. He looks down at her as she with quick and steady hands ties his tie for him. She looks beautiful today, with deep red lipstick, her hair has been curled, giving it a vintage look. Her dress is white with light green print of ferns and flowers on it for the summer occasion. “You are not going to die,” Peggy says in that no nonsense way of hers. 

Steve can’t help but look down at her and nod like he’s an idiot. Doesn’t stop his heart from beating like crazy, doesn’t stop the cold pricks of ice on his fingertips and the quicksand feeling that his legs are in. Peggy cups his cheeks and pulls Steve in, pressing her forehead against his and stares into his eyes with her own warm brown ones. “You are not going to die, you’re just getting nerves, that’s all. The moment you see him, love? All of that will just disappear and this will go smoothly like a dance, alright? You’re going to marry him and it’s going to be the best thing you’ll ever do. Do you hear me?” Peggy asks. Steve swallows with immense difficulty, nodding in response to her. 

It seems to please Peggy however, and she lets go of his face again. “Now, you look handsome, okay, you look wonderful but I need to do a touch up your hair, sit down, have some water.” Peggy directs him to one of the ottomans in the dressing room. Steve only follows because of the grip she’s got on his arm. Steve really doesn’t need much motivation, just a slight pull and he moves, despite feeling rooted to the place. He sits down on the ottoman and Peggy goes to fetch him a glass of water. His hand shakes when he accepts it. 

“You’re going to have a good day today, Steve,” she assures him and begins to brush her fingers through his hair to fix it. But it also makes him feel calmer. “Everything will go fine, we practiced, everybody knows what to do, before you know it this’ll be over and you’ll be with him. Today is going to be a day that you’ll remember for the rest of your life.” 

“I still feel like I’m about to die,” Steve mutters under his breath, looking down into his glass. He doesn’t need to check into the mirror to know that Peggy is rolling her eyes at him. Of course she’d be rolling her eyes at him, why wouldn’t she? Steve puts the glass down on the table in front of him and leans forward, covering his eyes with the palms of his hands. There’s a queasy feeling in his stomach. “I’m gonna be sick.”

Peggy pauses for a moment, fingers still in his hair. “Are you? Do you need me to get a bucket?” she asks in a serious voice and leans in a little bit. Steve doesn’t get the chance to answer the question. The door to the dresser opens and grabs the attention from both of them. Sam slips in and shuts the door behind him. Even Sam is nervous, though he does a better job at hiding it with his posture. You only really notice it by the way that he speaks. With a slight tremble in his voice. It had nearly set Steve off in hysterics when they had been on their way to the venue. 

“Everything alright here?” Sam asks and comes over to one of the chairs, gently picks up Peggy’s purse and takes a seat. Steve feels a little bit bad for Sam. It’s almost as if he hasn’t had a chance to sit down since they arrived. He’s been wandering around all freaking morning and being a godsend, arranging all the small little unfinished things that they hadn’t managed. 

“We are great, aren’t we, Steve?” Peggy smiles at Sam, deciding the answer for both of them so Steve doesn’t even have the time to hesitate and to blurt out his actual feelings. So Steve just nods, although he doesn't quite agree with Peggy that they’re great. He still feels sick. 

“How’s Bucky? Have you seen him?” Steve asks as Peggy does the last finishing touches on his hair. Sam pulls a face that Steve doesn’t quite like, a face that instantly tells him that Sam has seen Bucky and that he’s not okay, that he’s not amazing and feeling fantastic as he should. Sam is just scared to tell him. “Sam, is Bucky okay?” Steve asks him, surprised by the firmness of his own voice. He doesn’t think that Bucky would have run away and left him behind at the altar. No, Bucky wouldn’t do that. 

“Bucky is… well,” Sam shifts in his chair a little. “Bucky is having a moment and is breathing in a paper bag right now,” Sam admits and instantly raises his hand to Steve when he gets up. Bucky is panicking and he ought to be there, screw all the stupid rules that they said they’d do just for the sake of fun, just for the sake of memory. “And he will be fine, he’s not alone. He’s got Natasha there with him, Rebecca and Judith. They’re talking him through it, Bucky will be fine.”

“But-” Steve argues, feels Peggy’s hand right back on his shoulder as she pushes him back down on the ottoman. He imagines Bucky on the floor breathing into a brown paper bag. Bucky gets anxious at times, he should be there to help him. He’s been through it before he needs to be there. But… Steve supposes it doesn’t really matter. Natasha has known Bucky for years and helped him when they lived in Russia. His sisters have known him all their lives. Bucky doesn’t really  _ need _ Steve there for everything, but that doesn’t stop Steve from wanting to be there and help him. He wants to help his husband-to-be. In about fifteen minutes they’re going to stand in front of a bunch of people and get married and he should be there to help him. 

“Bucky is in excellent hands, he will be out when time is ready,” Sam assures him, knowing exactly what Steve is thinking. Steve nods, weakly so, but acknowledges what Sam told him. Bucky is in excellent hands, Natasha, Becca and Judith will look after him and they’ll pull him up on his feet. Everything is going to go according to plan. 

The door opens again and all three in the room look at who next slips in to talk to them. For a short moment Steve’s heart stops, fearing that it’s someone to tell him that it’s off, there’s a leak in the venue somewhere or a newly infestation of rats just discovered. It feels like everything could be possible. Steve calms down instantly however when he sees Winnie enter the room, sporting a bright yellow dress. 

Winnie beams at Steve when she sees him and makes her way over to him. Steve stands up and hugs the smaller woman, a little bit too hard because she starts laughing a little. “Steve, you’re crushing me,” she says and pats his arm. Steve, feeling sheepish, lets go of her and takes a step back. Winnie doesn’t seem to think he’s done something unforgivable and keeps that smile of hers, she pats at his cheek. “Why do you look so worried? This is supposed to be a happy day,”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell him,” Peggy chimes in. She’s moved over to the mirror and is touching up her lipstick. “Tell him he’s being silly for me, would you please?” 

Winnie just keeps her eyes on Steve, smiling happily at him. If you’d look at her, you’d never really know that there was a disaster impending. Winnie seems so calm about the wedding that it almost makes him feel calm as well. 

“Bucky’s breathing in a bag,” Steve says, hoping that she’ll understand how worried he is. Not very surprisingly however, Winnie clicks her tongue and gives him a small smile that somehow shows  _ such is life _ . 

“He’s always been like that, ever since he was a little boy. Enough confidence to make the world jealous. But when he’s stressed or does something big and important for himself, he will just sit down on the spot and panic. He’s been doing that since he was four years old.” Winnie shrugs a little, still looking at him with those bright happy eyes of her. “He will be fine, he has been fine every single time before, and he will be fine now, do you believe me?” 

Steve nods, of course he believes her, why wouldn’t he? 

“You know, his father is having a moment too?” Winnie laughs a little. “Different moment, he’s locked himself up and is crying. He’s happy you know, for the both of you, but he’s too much of a man’s man to be able to show it. So he’s crying it all out now while he still can. He too, will be fine. We are both very happy today for you. We’re both very happy that you’ve found each other and that you’ve decided to make something beautiful out of it. And we are both very happy that after today we get to call you our son in law, and that our son will have such a wonderful husband who we have full faith in will look after him and not hurt him. Steve, words can’t express how happy we are for the both of you, but we really want you to both know and understand. Do you?” 

Steve sniffs and nods, blinking rapidly as his eyes start to water from the lovely mention from Winnie. If something it makes him feel seen, and makes him feel more like part of the Barnes family than he ever did before. Somehow this feels more like an invitation to truly come and join them, making him truly feel like he’s finally found and made himself a new family after having been alone for so many years. “Thank you.” Steve chuckles a little and wipes at his eyes. Winnie smiles back at him and squeezes his hand. 

“You’re so lucky you’re not wearing any make up right now,” Peggy comments behind them in an amused tone. It’s really just a small, off handed comment, but it’s more than enough to make everybody in the room break out into a fit of giggles at the comment. 

Steve takes a step back and sits back down on the ottoman. He feels a bit lighter, a bit more at ease and not so nervous anymore. He’s finally starting to believe the others who have been telling him every other five minutes since he got up that morning that it will be fine. 

It  _ will _ be fine, he gets to marry the love of his life and his best friend. How is this not fine?

 

\--

 

Ten minutes later Peggy and Sam lead him out of the dressing room. Winnie had gone a couple of minutes prior to go sit down with the other guests but not before dragging her husband out of whatever closet he had locked himself into. 

Steve walks with Peggy and Sam on either side but it has a surreal feeling about it. It’s more like he’s floating and is being guided along on a string. To his right, Peggy is talking, but he can’t make out what she’s saying. To his left Sam walks, quiet and serious. Steve realises that he would have been lost to the world if it wasn’t for them. 

They walk down the stairs to the event hall, Steve has his hands buried deep in the pockets of his suit jacket that he might break the seams of it. When he takes the final step up the stairs, he looks up. Opposite him on the other end of the room, he sees Bucky. Bucky doesn’t seem to have noticed him yet and he looks absolutely wonderful. 

Bucky’s hair is put up behind his head in a manbun, but done so neatly that Steve can tell it wasn’t Bucky’s work. He’s wearing a stunning, heavenly white three piece suit with dark shoes. The suit that Bucky had worried about not fitting him fits him in the most wonderful and fantastic way and he looks absolutely gorgeous.  He’s pale and fiddling with his hands, starts to pick at his nails and instantly gets his hand slapped by Becca for it. He’s surrounded by Natasha, Becca and Judith, but truth to be told Steve doesn’t really notice them. 

“Bucky?” Steve croaks out, wanting to make sure that it’s him. That he’s not just imagining it. He doesn’t. Bucky’s head snaps away from looking at Natasha, who he’s been staring at attentively. Then relief just seems to wash over him. Bucky pushes himself away from the door and, with big steps, comes over to Steve who opens his arms wide for him. Bucky all but crashes into Steve for a tight, almost bone crushing hug and Steve feels like he’s about to start crying again. 

“Look at you,” Bucky says and pulls away just a little. Bucky laughs a little and wipes at Steve’s cheeks. He’s not about to start crying, he is crying, just like Bucky’s eyes are watering. “Look at you, you look… god, you look fantastic. You look so beautiful, doll.” Bucky takes a small step back to admire Steve in front of him, gently brushing his fingers over Steve’s suit. Now that Steve’s standing closer to Bucky, he can tell that his suit has small, intricate little details sewn on it with thread. Paisley pattern, it makes him laugh a little bit. The world’s most ugly pattern and Bucky manages to turn it into the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. 

“Are you okay? I heard… I heard you needed a bag.” Steve squeezes Bucky’s shoulders. Bucky shrugs half heartedly and glances away. Not wanting to talk about it so Steve doesn’t push it any further. There’s no point, he doesn’t want to be that person to rub it in. At least Bucky knows that Steve knows, and he knows that Steve has his back. 

“I’m fine, just nervous,” Bucky says, giggling a little maniacally as if just to prove a point and brushes a stray strand his hair behind his ear. “Aren’t you nervous? I mean I feel like I could stop breathing at any second and just, freeze. It’s terrible. How do people always manage to look ridiculously composed whenever they do this in movies. I know it’s not realistic but, still.” Bucky giggles again and looks down. The strand of hair that he tucked away moments earlier gets loose again and falls in front of Bucky’s face. Steve tucks it back for him. 

“I thought I was gonna die. And then I thought I was gonna throw up, before going back to believing that I was going to die again,” Steve admits and giggles a little himself. It feels kind of stupid now, he knows he’s not going to die, and he no longer feels sick. But… there’s still something tingling at his fingertips. 

“We’re not gonna die.” Bucky beams up at Steve and takes his hand in his own. He squeezes it and it’s the most comforting feeling Steve’s felt his entire life. It instantly makes the pinpricks in his fingers go away. No, they’re not going to die, they’re going to be just fine. 

“Can I kiss you?” Steve asks him in a whisper. He doesn’t see the harm in it. They’ve already seen one another and are going to walk down together. Where’s the harm in sneaking in one final little kiss before they go and get married. Bucky doesn’t respond, instead he just stands up on his tiptoes a little bit to close the distance between them and presses his lips against Steve’s. Steve makes a happy little noise into the kiss, placing his free hand on the back of Bucky’s head, just underneath his bun. 

They’re given a little moment. Behind them Peggy, Sam, Natasha, Becca and Judith stay silent and don’t interrupt them. Steve is grateful for that. The little kiss fills him with courage and just reminds him all the more of how excited he actually is to do this. There’s nothing that’s going to stand in their way anymore. 

Bucky pulls away after a short moment and blinks up at Steve, all happily and seemingly just as giddy as Steve himself feels. By now Steve’s cheeks are beginning to hurt from all the smiling that he’s already done this day. Behind them Sam claps his hands together once, grabbing the attention from the pair of them. Bucky turns and steps aside so he’s not in front of Steve but keeps holding his hand.

“Right, how about we get this show on the road and get your asses married?” Sam suggests to the pair of them. Natasha smirks a little and has her arms crossed across her chest. 

“Right, yes, let’s do this,” Bucky says with a nod and goes over to them, pulling Steve along with him and holding his hand tightly. Steve looks at Sam, expectantly as if he’s going to be getting instructions on what to do next, completely ignoring that he is  _ half _ the centre of attention at the event. 

“Right, I think you two should go out there first, go stand with Doris,” Sam points over to Becca and Judith with both of his hands folded together. They both nod and offer no objection, though they remain standing for now, listening to what Sam has to say. “After that, maybe Peggy, or you can go along with them and go stand on Steve’s side, what do you think?” 

“I’ll go with them. It’ll be nicer that way. First the groomswomen, then the best men, man, woman?” Peggy looks at Natasha hesitantly. 

“I’ll still be best man thank you very much,” Natasha responds within a heartbeat. 

“Then the grooms. That seems to be the best order of things, if you don’t mind me saying,” Peggy says with the sheer confidence that Steve’s always admired from her. He doesn’t mind her speaking her mind at all. Saves him from thinking too much. Sam looks over at both him and Bucky to see if they’ve got any objections. 

“That’s fine with me, Steve?” Bucky asks and squeezes their hand again as he looks up to him. Steve mutters his approval. “Groomswomen, best men, grooms,” Bucky repeats with a nod to confirm it, then mutters it under his breath once more as if it’ll help him remember it. 

“Groomswomen, best men, grooms. You got your ring?” Sam asks and looks down to Natasha, patting at the pocket of his own vest as if to make sure he still has his ring available. Natasha nods and pats at the pocket that her dress has herself to make sure. She nods once more when she feels it. “Ladies?” Sam smiles at Becca and Judith, then over at Peggy. 

Before the two sisters make a move to go out to the venue they give Bucky a hug, then move over to Steve to hug him as well. Peggy follows their suit. By the time that they’ve wished their good lucks and opened the door just enough to slip through, Steve’s heart is beating hard in his chest again. It almost hurts, this is what he imagines a heart attack feels like. 

“Natasha,” Sam offers his right arm for Natasha to take. 

“Thank you,” she smirks at him and hooks her arm around Sam’s before winking at them both. “We see you soon, one minute. Don’t keep us waiting. Don’t run,” she threatens with a laugh before both Sam and Natasha make it over to the door and slip through, leaving Bucky and Steve alone in the hallway. Suddenly it’s dreadfully quiet. 

“Holy shit,” Bucky suddenly whispers and breaks the silence. Steve giggles and looks at him. Beside him Bucky bounces his way in front of Steve and kisses him again. “Today is the day, we’re getting married. Stevie, we’re getting married. Like ten minutes from now, we’re married, can you believe it?” Bucky sounds so incredibly happy when he talks. Like a kid on Christmas tearing open their presents early. Bucky kisses Steve again, and again, and again, each kiss better than the last. 

“We’re getting married,” Steve repeats rather dumly, then giggles and bounces a little himself. “We’re getting married,” Steve repeats and starts to grin again. The same thought he’s already thought a million of times since March slips into his head. He’s going to marry his best friend, Bucky will be his forever and they’re going to wear rings to prove it. In the room behind the door has family and friends from all over the country gathered just to see them. Just to celebrate their love for one another. 

“Be honest,” Bucky says, smiling so bright and happy to Steve that he beams like he’s the freaking sun. “Did you ever think you’d get to this point? That we’d reach this point and that we’d tie the knot with one another?” 

“No,” Steve blurts out without thinking. It’s odd, considering he’s known for four months that this day would come. He’s planned for it, prepared for it, it’s been on his mind permanently and so engrained, that he doesn’t quite know how he’ll deal with the emptiness that’ll follow now when he  _ doesn’t _ have to plan for it anymore. And yet, despite all the planning and preparation and knowing how their wedding is going to be and look, he still can’t imagine himself standing at the altar and saying I do. “I mean… I did! But-” Steve begins the second he realises how it sounds if he says no. Bucky just laughs at him and leans up to kiss him again. 

“Didn’t seem real until now did it?” Bucky whispers after their kiss, hitting the nail exactly on the head as he speaks. Steve nods, happy that Bucky found the words when Steve didn’t find them. “I know, me too.” Bucky looks down to their feet for a moment, then he looks back up to Steve and smirks. “You know, I always knew I’d get married eventually. But I didn’t think it’d be to someone like you. I’m happy it’s you,” 

“I’m happy I’m getting married to you too,” Steve grins to Bucky. It earns him another little kiss. 

“What do you say doll? You wanna walk out there and get married?” Bucky asks him, swinging their hands together. Steve smirks to him and nods. That’s all the encouragement that Bucky needs, suddenly he drags Steve over to the door and janks it open. 

 

\--

 

“I can’t fucking believe you forgot your vows!” Doris says as she slides down onto the chair next to Bucky. Both he and Steve break out in giggles but keep holding one another’s hands. Steve watches Bucky with adoration as he tries to explain for the fifth time that he didn't forget his vows, not really. He just froze when it mattered. Steve had found it adorable, how after he had read his vows to Bucky and it was his turn, to just see how his expression went blank and his jaw dropped. The little giggly admission that he didn’t know, loud enough for everyone in the room to hear had sent a cascade of soft laughter and chuckles through the venue. All kind, laughing with them and not at them. It was only because of Natasha, who whispered the first line loud enough for Bucky to hear that he had managed to get them said in the first place. 

Steve watches how Bucky explains that to his sister, chin in one of his hands and smiling widely. He hasn’t stopped smiling since they both walked down the aisle together, butterflies fluttering in their stomachs, nerves edging them. Making them brave and courageous. Steve had cried a little from sheer happiness, and as soon as they were allowed to kiss one another and shared their first kiss as married men, Bucky had kissed those tears off his face. Only then had Steve noticed that Bucky was crying a little too. 

“Uhuh,” Doris gives Bucky an amused look, teasing him with the indication that she doesn’t really believe the tale that he told her, even if it’s nothing but the truth. “And what was with the little run skippy thing you both did?! It’s supposed to be walk down the aisle, not run down it like you’re Usain Bolt,” she teases and punches Bucky on his arm, he snorts and rubs the spot. 

“We couldn’t wait any longer,” Steve chimes in and smiles at her before looking right back at his husband.  _ His husband _ , he gets to say that now. He gets to point at his ring and tell people that he’s very happily married. “We just wanted to get it over with and get married, why drag it out for fifteen seconds when we could just race down and get it done with?” Steve asks and reaches to tuck the stubborn strand of hair away behind Bucky’s ear. 

“Exactly,” Bucky agrees with a nod and leans back to Steve, resting against him. Steve slides an arm around Bucky’s shoulders and presses a kiss to the side of his head. “We were just being efficient, that’s all.”

“Uhuh,” Doris teases them again, but watches the pair with a content little smile. “Well, I can’t wait to see how that turns out on the wedding video. Mom really couldn’t believe you guys did that, she was all distraught that you were running down it like a bunch of kids.” 

“It’ll make people remember the wedding in a happy light,” Bucky says with a wave of his hand. Doris snickers and shakes her head, sending her brown curls flying pretty much everywhere.

“Well that’s for sure. No one's gonna forget that for a long time to come,” Doris says and stands up from the chair, flattening out her dress and smiles down to the pair of them. Bucky doesn’t move, he just looks up to his sister with a content smile and strokes his fingers over Steve’s arm lightly. Doris matches his gaze and narrows her eyes a little, looking at them both with dark, calculating eyes. “You two are perfect together, you know that right?” 

“We’re aware,” Bucky says and pats Steve on his arm. “It’s why I put a ring on him.” Bucky laughs brightly at that and takes Steve’s hand, bringing it up to his lips so he can kiss the back of it. Doris scoffs and turns around, leaving them sitting by the table. Bucky breaks out in a fit of giggles and worms himself free from Steve’s grip. He smiles at him, all dopey looking and kisses him. “Hi, husband.”

“Hello, husband,” Steve responds and places a hand on Bucky’s cheek, pulling him in for another kiss. The statement and the kiss both wakes the butterflies in Steve’s stomach again, who have been resting for the past hour or so. Bucky still has such an easy time waking them up, it’s like it’s nothing at all to him.

“I love you,” Bucky whispers to him, stroking his thumb over Steve’s hand. Steve can’t help but smile. He knows that Bucky loves him, at this particular moment he feels like the most loved person walking on this earth, and in a way he doesn’t want the day to end no matter how perfect it is at this time. 

“I love you too,” Steve whispers back to him, keeping his voice low and hushed and keeps the saying in between the two of them. Bucky breaks out in a grin again, not entirely unlike the grin that he wore the very first night that he told Steve that he loved him. And now there’s not a single line or worry anymore in his face that he’s been accumulating the past four months. Bucky looks young again, and he looks the happiest Steve’s ever seen him. 

“Do you want to have them bring out the cake? So we can cut it and start plotting our escape from here to the hotel?” Bucky suggests, one of his eyebrows raises a little which makes him look naughty. Steve hums, instantly catching what Bucky is hinting at. He nods, as much as he loves the party and the event, he’s also beginning to long for a moment alone with his husband. Their first moment alone. Bucky leans in and kisses Steve on his cheek. “I’ll go tell them, I’ll be right back, I promise,” Bucky assures him before dashing off to the kitchen. 

Steve watches him leave, not noticing how Sam closes in on him and sits down on Steve’s left. Not until Sam knocks his fist to the table. Steve turns to look at him and just grins. “I got married,” he states to Sam who just smiles kindly. “I got married today, did you ever think I’d get married?” Steve shifts in the chair and leans against it with his side, now fully facing Sam who is looking over the guests at the party. Thor is dancing with Judith, who looks bright red. Rebecca is huddled together with Jahan. Winnie and George are sitting around their table talking to a bunch of Bucky’s relatives. 

“I always knew you’d get married,” Sam says and takes a sip of his drink, taken from the open bar that George did wind up paying for. Sam’s cheeks are a little bit flushed, meaning he’s acquainted himself properly with it. “I’m happy for you Steve, I really am. You really lucked out. I mean, do you understand all the little things in the world that had to fall together for this to happen? The fact that he had to click a link amongst thousands that led to you. The fact that you both stayed in touch, the fact that you opened up to him and that you bonded. The fact that you both met up after all this time and shit didn’t go to hell, and that you managed to have a long distance relationship with someone on the other end of the world and you made it fucking work. I mean, jesus christ.” Sam rambles on, making Steve smile as he listens to his drunken rambling. 

“I am pretty lucky aren’t I?” Steve sighs happily and tears his gaze away from Sam and looks over the people who have come to celebrate him and Bucky. “I never imagined it’d go down like this. But I also wouldn’t change it for the world now. This is my family now.”

“You always had one,” Sam says quietly and looks down at his glass. Steve glances back at him. Sam looks defeated sitting next to him like that, so he reaches out and squeezes Sam’s arm. 

“I know, you’re still part of that you know? What I mean is, I’ve just opened up more slots in my family and filled them in. I got a father in law, mother in law, sister in laws and all that. But… you’ll still be my dad friend. That’s not changing Sam. If I ever need to buy a car I’m not gonna ask George to come with me. I’m gonna ask you to come with me. You’ve done so much for me Sam, and I really really appreciate everything you’ve done for me. And I want you to know that I look up to you, I won’t ever forget you. None of that is changing, you hear me?” Steve says and leans in a little, trying to catch Sam’s eyes. When he does Sam is smiling a little, meaning that at least some of his words have sunk in. 

“I’m still the dad friend?” Sam asks with a happy little drunken smile. It gives Steve a perfect mental image of how Sam must have looked like as a child when he smiles like that. It makes him laugh a little. 

“You’re still the dad friend,” Steve confirms to him just as he feels Bucky’s arms come around his neck. He glances up behind him and sees Bucky standing there behind him. 

“I’m still the dad friend,” Sam declares to Bucky who laughs. A happy laugh, not mocking Sam, but genuinely happy for him. 

 

\--

 

“We got married,” Bucky tells the receptionist at the desk while Steve signs all the necessary papers for their hotel room. Steve giggles a little bit out of amusement. Ever since leaving the party Bucky’s made a point to inform everyone he’s met that they got married to one another. He told a passerby on the street when they waited for their driver, then he told the driver as she picked them up, then yet another stranger on the street. And now the poor receptionist who is doing nothing else but her job is being informed this as well. 

Steve puts down the pen and slides the paper back to her over the counter. She smiles stiffly at the pair of them and Steve feels Bucky’s arm snake around his back, under the backpack that Steve’s wearing over one shoulder. Bucky closes the distance between them and places his chin on Steve’s shoulder. The receptionists types in something on the computer, then turns around to grab a key and slides it over to them. “Congratulations, enjoy your stay.” 

Bucky snatches the key from the counter and kisses Steve on his cheek before he pulls Steve along with him to the elevator. Steve breaks out in giggles and spins around, pushing down the button that calls the elevator down to their floor. It dings barely moments after Bucky and the doors open, two elderly ladies step out while they slide in, still giggling. 

“We got married!” Bucky calls after them before turning to kiss Steve. Only one of them looks over her shoulder to them with a mildly concerned expression. They break apart with giggles and Bucky’s hand hovers over the buttons, he looks over to Steve. “What floor?” 

“Uhm.” Steve scrambles at the key, twisting it to see what floor they’re supposed to get off on. Sam had arranged the hotel room for them and he’s pretty confident that it’ll be an amazing room. “Eleven, Eleventh floor,” Steve looks up from the key and grabs Bucky’s hand. With his other, Bucky slams on on the button for the eleventh floor and makes a pleased noise when he realises that there’s only twelve floors in the hotel. Steve’s never been in this particular before, but he’s fully aware of the restaurant, bar, club thing that’s on the twelfth floor. The more Steve thinks about it, the more he realises that Sam got them a real fancy room with the budget he had been given to work with. 

Bucky pushes Steve up against the wall of the elevator and kisses him, placing both of his hands on Steve’s neck. From his shoulder Bucky’s backpack slides down and tugs down his hand from Steve’s neck, but it doesn’t seem to bother Bucky much. He keeps kissing Steve and adjusts it back over his shoulder, moving one of his legs in between Steve’s and presses his thigh against Steve’s cock. Steve groans a little in their kiss. 

“You wanna get me hard before we’re even in the room?” Steve asks him, though he finds that he doesn’t mind it the slightest bit. Bucky giggles again and nods before kissing him. He doesn’t get much further then that however. The doors ding of the elevator, and it takes them a moment of confusion to realise they’re already on the eleventh floor. 

“Oh!” Bucky exclaims and grabs Steve’s hand, pulling him out of the elevator. “What room? Where are we?” he asks and spins around to look at Steve, who checks the key in his hand again. 

“Hundred and ten,” Steve tells him, and then Bucky drags them off again. Together they run giggling down the hotel hallway, like teenagers sneaking away for their first fooling around session. Bucky comes to a halt at the door with golden numbers on it that say 110. Steve bumps into him, and Bucky grabs the key from Steve’s hand, beginning to fiddle with the lock. 

Steve decides to be just as distracting in return and begins to press soft little kisses in Bucky’s neck that make him squirm. Somehow, however, Bucky manages to unlock the door. The lock blinks green and Bucky pushes down the handle. 

The room is fucking amazing, and nothing like Steve imagined it to be. Truth to be told, when he steps foot in it he doesn’t even know what he was expecting anymore. The room is bright, large and airy. The windows are huge, giving a beautiful view of the Brooklyn Bridge, now beautifully lit up in the late evening. The bed to their right seems to be even larger than a King size, with wonderfully fluffy sheets. To their left seems to be a whole different room, large couches and a huge tv, it even has a dining table and a desk. There’s a door open leading to the bathroom, but Steve can’t focus on that now. 

“Holy fuck,” Bucky says as he walks in the room, looking around in amazement and momentarily forgetting all the excitement that he and Steve had been building up the elevator. “This place feels bigger than our apartment,” Bucky spins around to look at Steve, who closes the door behind him. It probably isn’t, but it feels huge considering how open it all is. Then Bucky spreads out his arms and grins widely at him. Steve can’t contain himself at that, he breaks out in a grin and races back up to Bucky, dropping his backpack on the floor catches him, lifting Bucky up which has him squeal with laughter. Steve joins in, only stopping when Bucky leans down to kiss him. 

Steve walks them over to the bed and drops Bucky down on it. Bucky instantly sinks down in the sheets, patting at them to flatten them down. Had it not been for the air condition in the room they would have been by far to hot to sleep in. Steve comes up on the bed and straddles Bucky’s hips, starting to undo the buttons to his shirt. Bucky places his hands on Steve’s thighs, stroking them up and down as Steve tries to make as quick work as possible with the shirt. When he opens it he strokes his own hand up Bucky’s abdomen to his chest. 

“God I love you,” Steve blurts out and leans in again to kiss him. Bucky puts an arm around Steve’s back and the other around his neck before rolling them both over. Steve makes a little giggling noise and tilts his head back, allowing Bucky to kiss his neck and his throat, grinding his hips against Steve’s a little. 

“I love you too, so so fucking much,” Bucky whispers hotly against Steve’s skin before finding Steve’s lips again. He kisses him deeply, slowly this time and places a hand on Steve’s cheek to keep him in place. Instantly slowing down their pace. Steve makes a noise in the kiss and places his hand on top of Bucky’s, doing nothing else but kissing him back. Then Bucky stops, finishing the wonderful kiss by pressing a soft peck to his lips. “Hey Steve?” 

“Mmm?” Steve hims and smiles up to Bucky, reaching out to stroke him lightly with one of his fingers. Bucky doesn’t respond at first, he just looks down to Steve with a starry eyed expression. One that gives Steve difficulty to interpret. Either he’s looking at Steve like he’s the galaxy again, or he’s about to cry again for the fifth time that evening. 

“Will you top me?” Bucky asks in a low whisper to him, dragging his finger over Steve’s lower lip with a little smile. Steve just stares at Bucky for a second, certain that his expression certainly must be absolutely stunned. Bucky doesn’t seem to look too worried about it however, he just smiles down to Steve with a confident expression and those starry eyes. 

“You want me to..?” Steve asks, pointing in between them with his finger and having trouble comprehending what Bucky is asking of him. They’ve gotten closer to it, by now it’s been a regular addition for Steve to fuck Bucky with a toy whenever Steve finishes first. But the idea that he finally gets to top Bucky makes something malfunction in his brain. And on their wedding night no doubt. Bucky nods and leans in to kiss him again. 

“I’m ready for it,” Bucky whispers against Steve’s lips before kissing him once more. “I want it to be you, I want it to be now,” Bucky says, slowly beginning to grind his hips against Steve’s again. Steve groans, kissing Bucky back with more eagerness. “Will you top me?”

“Yes,” Steve mutters in between kisses, then he giggles. “I’m probably gonna cum in like three seconds but yes.” 

Bucky giggles at that as well, pulling away from Steve and sitting up straight. His hair already looks disheveled, strands that have fallen loose from his bun, a pink flush on his cheeks that Steve guesses is a mixture of the alcohol that he’s drunk that evening, and the arousal that he’s feeling. With clumsy fingers Bucky opens Steve’s shirt, brushing his hand over Steve’s chest before shifting back and tackling Steve’s belt. 

Steve watches him attentively, making sure that he’s always touching something of Bucky and is constantly feeling him. When Bucky finally does manage to open his pants and slide his palm over Steve’s semi erect cock. Steve groans and tilts his head back, shivering a little when he feels Bucky press a soft little kiss just above the elastic band of his boxer briefs. 

“You looked so amazing today doll, you looked so fucking beautiful. I’ve wanted to do this all day.” Bucky tugs at Steve’s pants a little. Steve helps by lifting up his hips just enough so Bucky can tug them down, pause when he opens up the shoelaces on Steve’s shoes which he never will wear again. He tosses both behind him and then tugs Steve’s pants off. “Jesus I swear.” Bucky strokes his palm over Steve’s cock again. Steve lets out a needy little whine. “Everybody was looking at you like you were the most glorious thing in the room.” 

“I’m pretty sure they were looking at both of us Buck,” Steve breathes and looks to Bucky, who’s shifting on the bed and hooking his fingers with Steve’s underwear. They exchange a look and Steve lifts his hips up again. Bucky strips him off his underwear and tosses it away as well, leaving Steve only in his open shirt. 

“Nah, they were looking at you doll, you were like the freaking moon and stars in that picasso painting. You were burning like the sun. You were like like a purple sky and blue water. You were like the first snowfall and the mist through the jungle. You were so fucking beautiful Stevie, you’ve got no idea.” 

Steve giggles a little bit. “You mean Van Gogh?” Steve asks him with an innocent smile. Bucky quirks up an eyebrow at him. “That painting, it’s Van Gogh, the starry night? It’s not Picasso.” Steve says, Bucky shrugs and kisses Steve on his chest, then his lips. 

“Don’t care, it’s beautiful, it’s like you,” Bucky whispers and kisses Steve again before he once more kisses his way down. Steve bites down on his lower lip, brushing his fingers through the loose strands of Bucky’s hair and twirling them around his fingers. Bucky glances up to Steve and smiles, his hands steadily on either side of Steve. Bucky wasn’t a stranger to wearing rings, but Steve can’t help but look at Bucky’s left hand, where he now carries their wedding ring right next to their engagement ring. 

“I love you,” Steve whispers again. Bucky winks at him. His way of saying that he loves him too. Bucky kisses the tip of Steve’s cock, wrapping his fingers around the base of it and gives him a light stroke. Steve groans and closes his eyes, tilting his head back against the bed. 

Bucky’s tongue, hot and wet licks down from the tip to the root, then back up again. He pulls away for a minute, and Steve knows that Bucky’s wetting his lips. Bucky then begins to slowly, agonizingly slow take Steve in his mouth, pushing the tip past his lips and into the warmth that is his mouth. Bucky’s tongue presses the piercing on the underside of the head, making Steve whine. Bucky glances up to him, looking far to content with himself. 

Steve bites down on his lip again and takes a tighter grip of Bucky’s hair. Bucky enjoys it however, he lets out a little hum which makes Steve groan. Bucky sucks at the tip, pulling another moan from him before he starts to bob his head up and down over Steve’s cock. And for a moment, Steve allows himself to just enjoy the feeling. He moans as Bucky works on him, taking him so well in his mouth and sucking at him, pressing the piercing in his tongue at all the right spots to have him trembling. 

Steve whimpers as he tries to keep still on the bed, tries not to thrust his hips into Bucky’s mouth, even if he knows that he wouldn’t mind it to terribly much. But Bucky is working him so well, that it makes him want so much more. At that moment Steve doesn’t want Bucky to stop. It’s almost as if Bucky hears his thoughts, he pulls away, and just pumps his fist up and down over Steve’s cock. He licks his lips, eyes gone dark now as he looks at Steve. “You want to cum like this?” Bucky asks, shifting just a little but on the bed. “You want me to make you cum like this, doll? Make you feel real good?” 

Steve swallows, unable of answering at first. Thoughts race through his mind before he nods. “Yes. Yes,” Steve tells him. If he cums now, he figures that he could last longer than seven seconds when Bucky’s ready for him. And he knows that he can come twice in a session, he can come more than that. They discovered that together.

Bucky licks his lips in a naughty way and winks to Steve again before taking him back into his mouth. Steve groans again and closes his eyes. He feels the piece of jewelry press against the underside of his cock, and then the way it presses against the underside of his cock when Bucky starts bobbing his head up and down. Just the way Steve likes it. 

“Fuck. Fuck Bucky fuck,” Steve starts to curse when he feels his orgasm closing in on him. Bucky shifts just a little bit and presses a hand down on Steve’s abdomen, pressing down just hard enough to keep him right in place. Bucky does  _ something _ , Steve’s not entirely sure what Bucky does but whatever it is, it feels fucking amazing and he cums with little warning. 

Bucky doesn’t jerk away however, he isn’t surprised. He’s known Steve long enough, given him more than enough orgasms at this point to be able to tell when he’s getting close sometimes before even Steve knows. So when Steve cums, Bucky swallows all of him down. When Bucky pulls away from Steve there isn’t even a hint left that Steve came in the first place. He winks at him, shifting up to kiss him again. 

Steve kisses him back, a little bit sloppy, but then rolls the two of them over so Bucky’s the one on his back. Steve begins to kiss at his throat and neck, nipping softly at the skin like he knows Bucky likes. He kisses down to his chest, then pauses to take the pierced nipple in his mouth to suck at it. Bucky lets out a little noise at that and attempts to grind his hips against Steve. Steve feels just enough to know that Bucky is hard in them. 

Steve pulls away, and with the cooperation of Bucky he strips him out of his pants and underwear as well. Bucky remains seated up and tosses away his shirt, leaving him naked on the bed save for his socks, which he doesn’t seem to care about at that particular moment. Steve kisses Bucky deeply, then pushes him on his chest to make him lay down again. 

Bucky goes willingly, grinning up to Steve. “There’s lube in my bag,” he says, squirming a little bit higher up on the bed. Steve slides off the bed and grabs Bucky’s back. Opening it and rather than looking through it carefully, he pulls out whatever he gets his hands on and scatters it on the floor before finding the lube. He throws it up on the bed and begins to take of his shirt. “No no no, keep it on? Please keep it on, for me?” 

Steve gives Bucky a mildly surprised look, but then he smirks and pulls the open shirt back up over his shoulders. “You like me with a shirt on?” Steve asks and climbs back up on the bed. Bucky nods and watches how Steve grabs the lube and opens the cap. 

“Makes you look real hot, like some sort of, office man having his way with me,” Bucky says, spreading his legs a little for Steve as he scoots closer. “We should do roleplay sometime, not today.” 

“We’ll do roleplay,” Steve promises Bucky, squirting out lube on his fingers, then just drops the tube on the bed. He takes Bucky’s cock in his hand with the fingers that are still clean, brushing his thumb over the piece of jewelry that’s on the underside of the tip. Bucky groans a little, arching his hips to Steve. “God I’ve wanted to do this for such a long time, ever since you asked me,” Steve mutters before lowering his fingers, pressing them against Bucky. 

“I’ve wanted you to do this for a long time too.” Bucky grabs the headboard of the bed, giving Steve the little nod that he wants for permission. One finger slides in easily with no resistance. Bucky has learned to relax that much and Steve feels a surge of pride at his husband for that. 

Bucky takes a deep breath and shuts his eyes, tiltings his head back a little. Steve begins to move his finger slowly, Steve starts to stroke Bucky’s cock. Bucky lets out a little moan, and Steve can feel how Bucky relaxes around the finger inside of him. “You talk to me okay?” Steve says, looking up to Bucky. “You talk to me and let me know when you’re ready, when you want another one.”

“You can add another one,” Bucky instantly tells him. Steve thinks that it perhaps is a little bit to soon, but he did ask for Bucky to tell him. Bucky might have come a long way, but sometimes Steve gets the feeling that Bucky pushes himself a little. Still, Steve does as he’s asked, he pulls his finger nearly out of him, adds his index finger against his middle finger and pushes it in alongside. 

“Fuck,” Bucky groans out. The two fingers move inside of him with a little bit of a struggle, but Bucky relaxes again, tenses, and relaxes again. His breathing grows heavier, and soon Bucky lets out a soft little moan. He regrips the headboard and tenses the muscles in his arms. 

“That feel good?” Steve asks, still stroking Bucky’s cock lightly. He brushes his thumb over the piece of jewelry again, then over the tip. Bucky bites down on his lower lip and nods quickly. Steve wonders for a moment if he could be so lucky to find that little sweet spot in Bucky, make him feel amazing. But he doubts this. It had taken Bucky two years to find Steve’s, and Steve’s already promised one thing.  _ Should _ he even find that sweet spot, there won't be much energy left for anything else. 

“God yes, please. Another one?” Bucky asks Steve, opens his eyes and looks straight at him. “C’mon doll, please. Get me ready for you,” Bucky asks, although it sounds more like he begs Steve. Steve does as he’s asked and gives Bucky a third finger. Bucky moans and arches his back of the bed, rocking his hips steadily against Steve’s hand. The tip of Bucky’s cock is starting to leak pre-cum, Steve makes a point of it to spread it over the tip. Bucky whimpers a little at that, there’s a shiver in his muscles. 

In between Steve’s own legs his cock is starting to grow hard again from the sight in front of him. Bucky panting and moaning, so needy and moving against Steve’s touch. He’s come so far, his Bucky. From looking so nervously at the toys that Steve had bought for them to use, the plugs, how he at first had struggled with the medium sized plug, and how he now wore it like champion, how he sometimes claimed it wasn’t enough. Steve truly felt proud of Bucky for all of that. 

“You want a fourth?” Steve asks him, but by gods he hopes that Bucky doesn’t. All he wants suddenly is Bucky and nothing else. He wants that sweet, warm and wonderful sensation of sliding into Bucky and knowing that he’s the first person to do so. “Talk to me, sweetheart. Come back to me, you need a fourth?” Steve asks again and strokes his hand up over Bucky’s stomach. 

Bucky blinks his eyes open, taking a moment to understand what Steve asked of him. Then he shakes his head and looks to Steve, he lets go of the headboard. “No, I want… I want you. Let’s try you?” Bucky asks him. Steve’s throat goes dry at the idea, when he nods it feels clumsy. 

“Okay, yeah, okay uhm,” Steve stammers and gently pulls his fingers out of Bucky. Then he’s hit with the sudden realisation that he doesn’t know what to do next. He’s seen Bucky do it a billion times before, or so it feels. But now it’s like he’s standing on a stage in the spotlight and he’s forgotten his lines. He’s wracked by a sudden batch of nerves that he doesn’t even know where he’s supposed to begin untangling them. 

Bucky chuckles a little bit and pops up his elbows, noticing the brainfreeze that’s happening to Steve. He shifts up and kisses Steve, pulling him back to reality. Steve kisses him back and follows his instinct. Steve doesn’t even notice when Bucky reaches for the lube, squirting some of it on his hands. He groans in their kiss when he feels Bucky’s hand around him, spreading the lube all over his cock. 

Steve looks down to the sight and can’t believe it’s happening. He looks at Bucky with big eyes, Bucky the confident bastard just winks at him and gives Steve a soft peck on his lips. “You’ll do fantastic Stevie, it’ll be great,” Bucky whispers to him, making Steve look him in his eyes. Steve kisses him again. 

“How do you want to do this?” Steve asks him when Bucky pulls his hand away from Steve’s cock. “On your back? From behind? Do you want to be on top?” Steve asks him, trying to catch Bucky’s eyes properly to see if there truly is no hint of hesitation in it. No fear of what’s to come. If there is, Bucky’s good at hiding it. If there is, Bucky still has perfect faith in Steve that he’ll make it worth his while. It gives Steve a dose of performance anxiety. 

“I want to see you,” Bucky says. Now there’s something milder to his tone. Now there’s a hint of  _ something _ that Bucky isn’t as confident as he looks. That he also is a little bit worried about what’s to happen and how they’ll deal with it. “On my back? You on top like that? Just, normal missionary?” Bucky asks him in a parade of questions, another sign that he’s nervous. Steve’s heart softens a little at that, and he kisses Bucky again in the hope to calm him down a little. Then with a steady hand in the middle of Bucky’s chest he makes him lay down. 

Bucky goes willingly, looking up to Steve with expectant and big eyes. Steve shifts a little bit more in between Bucky’s legs and lines himself up. Bucky shifts his legs again, spreading them a bit wider apart. Steve’s heart is pounding away in his chest and he can feel how the blood rushes through his ears. 

“It’s okay,” Bucky says, encourages Steve a little and reaches out to touch him. Steve nods a little and presses the tip of his cock against Bucky. They exchange one last look with one another, Bucky nods, barely noticeable. Steve nods in return, mostly to confirm it to himself. Then, slowly he pushes in. 

Bucky gasps a little, digging his nails in Steve’s arm out of sheer surprise. “Go on,” he says after, fully aware that it might make Steve pull back. Steve would have, had it not been for that, so he goes on. It takes a little, there’s a little bit of resistance at first and Steve’s not entirely sure if it’s because of Bucky’s nerves or if it just is. He imagines it’s a little bit of both. Steve moans, the pressure around him is heavenly, and it feels by far much better than he can remember it. 

As soon as the tip is in Bucky, the rest of him slides into Bucky with surprising ease. Steve groans at the warm, tight feeling all around him, and it takes all of his self control to not twitch his hips forward to move even deeper inside of Bucky. Suddenly Steve’s happy again that he came earlier. He wouldn’t have lasted seven seconds like he thought. He would have moved into Bucky and he would have been hit by his orgasm. 

Bucky’s breathing is quick and rapid, he looks at Steve all surprised, then he breaks out into a grin, then a laugh. “Holy shit,” Bucky mutters, easing his grip of Steve’s arm. Steve rather dumbfounded, looks down and sees how he’s inside of Bucky, and laughs as well. He looks up to Bucky and grins widely, placing a hand in Bucky’s neck. 

“You okay?” Steve asks just to make sure. Bucky bites down on his lips and nods, his hair bounces a little bit when he does. But he looks happy, he looks excited, that’s all that Steve needs. So Steve shifts carefully on the bed, moving his legs so he could lay down on top of Bucky while still staying inside of him. 

As soon as he’s close enough, Bucky pulls him in for a kiss, both of his hands on Steve’s cheeks. Steve makes a noise in the kiss, when he breaks it he rests his forehead on Bucky’s. “You ready?” He asks and looks deep into Bucky’s eyes. Bucky nods again. 

Steve presses one last soft kiss to Bucky’s lips, and then with a small movement of his hips, he pulls back. It’s yet another clumsy movement, not nearly as smooth and calculated as Bucky when he’s on top. Steve reminds himself that Bucky has had far more practice with that than he has. 

Steve thrusts back in Bucky, careful while keeping an eye on Bucky and any signs that it’s to much, that he’s uncomfortable. But instead all he can spot on Bucky is a little gasp for breath, soon followed by a moan as he shuts his eyes. Steve kisses his cheek, then his neck and thrusts again, a little bit faster than before, trying his best to find a rhythm for the pair of them to fall into. Bucky tries his best to figure out how to move his hips along with Steve. 

“Jesus,” Bucky moans, tilting his head back and exposing his throat to Steve. He takes the moment and presses his lips against the soft skin, sucking a mark in it. Bucky places a hand on the back of Steve’s head, and slides his other one under Steve’s arm and pulls him in, holds him close. He angles his hips a little, wrapping one leg around Steve’s hips. 

“Good?” Steve whispers against Bucky’s skin before pressing a kiss back to his neck. He nips at the skin and kisses Bucky again before he even has the chance to respond to what Steve asks of him. 

“Yes,” Bucky breathes in between the kiss and kisses him again, deeper, filthier and needier. Steve parts his lips for Bucky, who licks into his mouth and groans. Steve thrusts a little harder at that, not being able to help himself. Bucky gasps from it, but kisses him again, still working his best on meeting Steve’s thrusts, which still aren’t very rhythmic. Bucky seems to enjoy himself nonetheless. 

“God you feel so good,” Steve murmurs to him, feeling the sweat break out on his back. Bucky looks him in his eyes and grins before pulling him down for another kiss. Steve groans in it and traces a hand down Bucky’s side, careful to avoid all the spots that make Bucky squirm from ticklishness. He moves his hand down to Bucky’s hip, then slides it down his back to his ass, lifting him a little, keeping himself pinned up with his other elbow. Bucky lets out a deep, louder moan when Steve thrusts back in him again. 

“Can I be on top?” Bucky asks him then. “Can I be on top? I want to look down at you, want to see how much you enjoy yourself,” Bucky mutters and kisses Steve’s neck. Steve lets out a whimper, the idea of it makes something summersault in his stomach. He nods and kisses Bucky again before pulling out of him. He doesn’t want to dare rolling them both over just yet. He doesn’t have enough finesse for that. 

Steve rolls onto his back, and Bucky smoothly straddles him. Steve strokes himself a couple of times, then holds his cock around the base to keep himself steady and looks up to Bucky. Bucky reaches behind him, touching Steve with a few fingers against his cock to press him against him. “Ready?” Bucky asks him breathlessly. Steve nods

Bucky starts to lower himself onto Steve. At first he doesn’t succeed and Steve’s cock glides away, but Bucky isn’t discouraged. He just curses and straightens up again before making a second attempt. This time, Steve’s cock does push in him and Bucky keeps lowering himself. 

Bucky casts his head back a little and groans, then when he’s fully on Steve again he leans forward, pressing the palms of his hands on Steve’s chest and shudders a little bit. Steve strokes a hand up on Bucky’s thigh, giving him a little moment even if all he wants is for Bucky to move on top of him. “Fuck that feels…” Bucky begins but trails of. Not quite being able to find the right words for what he’s currently feeling. Steve smiles to him, reaching up to put some of Bucky’s hair behind his ear. 

“Full?” Steve asks him with a raised eyebrow. Bucky lets out a squeaky little noise in response to him, grabs Steve’s hand that’s tucking the hair away and kisses it. Then Bucky straightens up and moves his hips, experimenting a little bit with the best movement for it. 

“Yeah, yeah full,” Bucky groans again, moving with a little bit more ease and confidence now. “Jesus this feels good,” Bucky shudders again and his eyes shut. Steve just stares up at Bucky like that, loving the sight of him on top of Steve like that, enjoying himself as much as he is. And more importantly, knowing that he is the reason as to why is feeling so good. That he’s the reason why Bucky’s skin is flushing like that, that he’s the reason why Bucky is moaning like that and picking up the pace to feel more of it. 

That he is the reason for Bucky’s cock to be hard. 

Steve moans himself, wanting to pull Bucky down for a kiss. Wanting to hold him close and wrap his hand around Bucky’s cock. Stroking him until he reaches an orgasm, thrusting into him, making him still feel it the next day which Steve is certain Bucky already will. Steve moves his hips along with Bucky, whatever he does he does something right. Bucky’s moan turns louder as he moves down against Steve. 

“Jesus do that again,” Bucky asks him. Steve does his best to repeat it, hoping that he falls into the pattern that he had moments before. It seems to work somewhat. Bucky keeps moaning and lets Steve take over the thrusting for now, barely moving on top of him. 

“You feeling good, sweetheart?” Steve asks him, not being able to help himself anymore at this point and wraps his fingers around Bucky’s cock, stroking him. Bucky lets out a strangled noise but doesn’t bat away Steve’s hand. He lets him stroke him, fast and tight. 

“Mhm,” Bucky whines in response, making a twitching movement with his hips. When he does he grows almost unbearably tight that it makes Steve moan as well. It’s a warm, dizzying experience that feels good enough to make him doubt he’ll go back to bottoming for a while to come. If Bucky wants to of course. 

“You wanna cum?” Steve asks, still stroking Bucky’s cock while he tries to keep the thrusts inside of him even paced. He thinks he’s doing pretty well. Bucky nods rapidly, hair bouncing. All that really comes past his lips is short, quick little ragged moans. Small, nonverbal signs to beg Steve to keep doing what he’s doing. Steve feels that sense of pride again. 

“Come on then, it’s okay,” Steve tells him, still pumping his fist up and down over Bucky’s cock. “Come on sweetheart. You can cum, it’s okay just let it go,” Steve mutters to him, wanting nothing else but to kiss those lips of Bucky. He doesn’t think that Bucky would even notice if he did. At the moment Bucky seems stuck in the pleasure that’s hugging him tight. Sure enough, Bucky cums seconds later, spilling over Steve’s hand and onto his chest. Steve grinds up to Bucky, thrusting fully into him and keeping still while Bucky goes unbearably, almost painfully tight around Steve that it makes him groan out and see stars. 

“Holy shit,” Bucky breathes out when he comes back to the world again, Steve feels how Bucky relaxes on top of him, he strokes his hand up from Bucky’s hip to his chest, seeing how his husband shivers at the touch. Then Bucky goes limp, moves of Steve and drops down on the bed beside him. Steve giggles a little and rolls to his side as well, kissing Bucky gently. Bucky kisses him back, slowly and almost lazily. 

“How do you like bottoming now?” Steve asks him, for the moment ignoring his hardon still pressed in between the pair. Bucky giggles a little, doesn’t open his eyes. 

“I totally get it now,” Bucky presses a kiss to Steve’s jaw, pushing on his chest to make Steve roll onto his back, then slides his hand down to Steve’s cock, still relatively slick with lube and strokes him. Steve moans from deep down in his chest. “Want me to take care of you now?” Bucky whispers in Steve’s ear, nipping at his earlobe. 

“Yes,” Steve mutters and turns to find Bucky’s lips for a kiss. Bucky allows it for a short moment before he pulls away, letting go of Steve’s cock and reaches behind him. 

“I’ll make you feel real good then,” Bucky’s hand comes back in view again holding the tube of lube. Steve’s eyes widen a little at the sight of it in Bucky’s hand, opening the cap and squirting some of it out on his fingers, then spreading it over his index, middle and ring finger. 

“You sure you’re up for that?” Steve asks Bucky with big eyes, not quite sure he’s believing what he’s seeing. Bucky looks a little sleepy, happy and content from his orgasm. When he smirks Steve can tell that there’s more to it than he expects. Bucky kisses him sweetly on his cheek. 

“Oh I’m not gonna fuck you Steve,” Bucky says, his lubed up fingers slide past Steve’s cock and balls, pressing a finger against him. Steve lets out a breathy little sound, then moves one of his legs, spreading them a bit more for Bucky just as he slides one of his fingers in. “I’m just gonna make you feel real, real good,” Bucky nips at Steve’s earlobe again. 

It doesn’t take long before Bucky has him whimpering in his arms like that. One finger became two within the minute, and soon Bucky has his fingers moving in such a heavenly way that Steve doesn’t want anything else but them. Bucky keeps pressing soft little kisses to Steve’s shoulder, to his neck and nipping at his earlobe before going back to his neck to suck a mark in the tanned skin. 

When Bucky adds a third finger in him and Steve shivers from it, he realises what Bucky is up to. “Think you can find it?” Steve asks him breathlessly, finding it difficult to focus on Bucky’s treatment coming from two different directions. Bucky just hums amused in response, choosing not to tell Steve if he will. 

Steve doesn’t have to wonder for very long. Bucky presses a finger to that spot that makes Steve cry out. Almost as if Bucky has known the entire time where it was, but just wanted to work him up first. Now Bucky keeps brushing his fingers over it, massaging it in such a way that Steve feels like he’s being raced to his orgasm with Bucky whispering in his ear. Just before Steve spills over the edge Bucky stops. He all but pulls his fingers out of him. 

“Bucky come on!” Steve whines, attempting to move his hips down against his fingers to get more of him, but Bucky isn’t having it and doesn’t give him the touch back. “Bucky come on please, please please,” Steve begs but the only response he gets is Bucky sucking another mark on his neck. 

Bucky doesn’t give him his fingers back until Steve’s calmed down, until he’s pulled away from his orgasm far enough. Then Bucky pushes his fingers back in, making Steve arch his back and close his eyes again. After a couple of minutes Bucky starts to brush by that spot again, making him moan out loud and needy. Sure enough, when he gets close to his orgasm again Bucky stops. It makes him want to cry. 

“Come on sweetheart please, please just let me cum,” Steve begs him. The corners of his eyes start to feel a bit wet from tears. Crying from pleasure, he hasn’t done that since last time Bucky teased him like this. Since last time Bucky made him cum dry. Bucky kisses him sweetly, a stark contrast to how powerful the pleasure within him feels. 

“You want to cum?” Bucky whispers hotly in his ear. Steve just manages a pathetic little whimper in response. It’s enough for Bucky, who slides his fingers right over that spot and brings the massive wall of pleasure back. Steve’s writhing on the bed, doing his best to move along with Bucky’s touch. 

Steve feels like he’s suffocating, in between all the moaning and gasping it’s becoming increasingly more difficult to breathe. His orgasm races towards him at a fast, merciless pace and slams into him with the weight of a brick wall. He lets out a mixture of a scream and a moan, having little regard to any neighbours they might have in the hotel. The orgasm is intense and powerful, making him see stars behind his eyes. He cums dry. 

His orgasm falters, but just a little. The strength of it remains, and Steve can feel the very same thing building up again. He whimpers, desperately wishing he had something to hold on to. Desperately wishing that he could clutch onto Bucky and hold him tight and close against himself. 

Bucky notices that he’s about to cum again and keeps brushing his fingers over that spot. Whispering nothing but filth in Steve’s ear and praise, telling him how wonderful he looks. How he’s looking thoroughly fucked with his hair in a mess, the shirt that he’s still wearing nothing but a crumpled mess. And it hits him again, even more intense than the one before and now Steve has tears for sure leak from his eyes, feeling nothing but pure pleasure locking and tensing his muscles hard enough that it feels like his bones will break. 

Bucky is merciless and keeps going, Steve barely gets a moment to recover from the second orgasm before he feels the third building up. He’s letting out nothing but nonsense, whimpering and moaning. He cums again he wants to kick something. Beside him Bucky shifts, his fingers slide of the spot but just for a moment. Steve feels like he’s reaching a breaking point, breathing all ragged. He opens his eyes just in time to see Bucky settle in between his legs, and his fingers are back over the spot. 

Steve moans, closing his eyes again, the next thing that he feels makes everything already more mind blowing than it is. He feels Bucky’s fist around his cock, stroking him so lightly. He cums from that touch alone, and this time he cums over his chest, even up to his throat with a long, shaky drawn out moan. Bucky’s touch eases, both around his cock and his fingers inside of him. When he pulls them out of Steve, he shivers. 

“Told you I’d make you feel real good,” Bucky says with what Steve’s certain is a grin. The touch of on his thigh makes Steve twitch. Then Bucky leans in over him, pressing a soft kiss to Steve’s forehead. “One of these, you’ll do that to me, husband.” Bucky says, Steve giggles a little bit, finding Bucky’s lips to kiss him. 

“Husband,” Steve says, he doesn’t think that he’ll ever get tired of saying that out loud. 


	7. Epilogue

Steve’s skin is bronzed with a tan, just a tint lighter than that of Red. He’s laying on the bed on his stomach, panting and writhing a little. The muscles move with every movement, and every touch that Red gives him as he strokes his hand up his back, squeezes his shoulder. Squeezes Steve’s ass with his other hand, the one that shows off the rings on one of his fingers. 

Red thrusts into him again and Steve lets out another moan, doing his best to move his hips along with Red to feel for him. There’s a token drop that comes from the computer, but neither of them seem to notice. 

“God you feel good,” Red mutters and thrusts again, Steve lets out a mix of a whine and a moan to that. “You’re so fucking gorgeous right now.” Red leans in over Steve, placing his fists on either side of Steve’s head and leans in, he licks Steve’s shoulder, then nips at the skin. He’s in slightly better shape after their absence, but only slightly. 

Steve grips hold of Red’s arm, holding it tight. Red worms his arm out of it, and grabs Steve’s hand instead. “You wanna cum like this? Huh doll? Want me to make you cum like this?” Red asks and thrusts a bit harder, a bit faster into Steve. Steve nods rapidly, gasping for breath. The computer chimes again for another token drop.

Red straightens up again and lifts up Steve’s hips a little, changing the angle a bit and keeps thrusting at that very same hard and fast pace. Steve lets out a louder needier moan at that, gripping Red’s hand hard, and the bedsheets with the other hard enough to make his knuckles turn white. 

Red doesn’t have to thrust much longer, Steve is already worked up enough from it. He cums on the bed with another long drawn out moan. It’s a difficult tell for the newer viewers, but the ones who have been watching for a while know Steve as if they are the ones fucking him through Red. The newer viewers only know by the way that Red eases his thrusting, gently stroking a hand up Steve’s spine again. 

Red lets out a laugh and leans in, he presses a soft little kiss to the back of Steve’s neck. “Did you like that? Husband?” Red asks with a wide grin. There’s some glee in him as he mutters the last word. Steve giggles a little the adorable little giggle that’s half of the image. Then he turns a little and presses a kiss against Red’s cheek.   


“Yes I did, husband,” Steve says with a happy smile. Still holding Red’s hand, their rings right next to one another. 


End file.
